Loosing my best friend after a series of dramatic events was and still is one of the hardest things I have yet to experience. I was best friends with someone, we'll call her Lorel, for over five years and our friendship toppled over faster than a Jenga set. Lorel and I had done everything together. She was with me at my hardest times and I was with her. We were inseparable for so long, but after two major fall outs, we completely went our separate ways. She blocked me off Instagram because I had removed her from mine. It was too sticky. Our friendship was over.

I wanted to reach out to Lorel after everything. I thought maybe a year was enough time for us to grow and simmer down enough to at least be civil with each other. I sent her two paragraphs about how I just wanted to talk and clear the air. She left me on read and I can't say I'm surprised. We both hurt each other very bad. Mental illness is something we both dealt with and that year, it hit harder than a hurricane. It clouded my judgment and I was in a very bad place, pushing away people I loved left and right.

We have all probably experienced some sort of break-up by now. Albeit, it may be by some kid in seventh grade, but for some of us, we have either had a falling out with a best friend or a serious partner. I have had my fair share of both and I am here to say that for me, losing Lorel was the worst out of all my break-ups. I can reconcile with my exes, but I always expected us to be at each other's sides through everything. I'm sure some of you will agree: it's so painful to break-up with a best friend like that.

If you have gotten into a falling out with your best friend, know that you will be okay. It can hurt, but all you need at the end of the day is yourself. In fact, her and I falling out allowed for my other best friend and I to get as close as we are today. Will there ever be a day where I don't think of Lorel? Probably not. I wish her the best and I regret not being the best friend I promised her I would be. It still hurts that I can't call her and tell her everything that's happened since I have moved. Perhaps it's for the better - I don't want to be energy who would hold her down. Detach yourself as much as possible and accept the situation for what it is as soon as you can.

Part of life is letting go. Know that's okay. Even if it's of people we love. We have to let go.