To The Girl Who Lost Her Mom, From The Girl Who Knows Exactly What You're Going Through
You can heal through your heartbreak.
07 August
Alex Leeds
You'd think that since I went through exactly what you're going through, I'd have all the right words and things to say to you. Truth is, I don't. I remember the shock. I remember the pain, the confusion, the tears. I remember feeling as if I wasn't going to make it. Struggling to catch my breath, not being able to see the point anymore.
<p><strong>I was broken into a million pieces, just like you are right now.</strong> </p><p>I think when the shock wears off is when it hits us the most. The door isn't constantly ringing with flower deliveries, there isn't a ton of catered food in the refrigerator, our phone isn't constantly going off with text messages from people sending their condolences and all of the services for her are over. Suddenly we find ourselves in an empty room and it hits us. She's gone. All you can think is, where do I go from here? How does life simply go on? The truth is, I don't know, but there are some things that I helped me that may help you, too. </p><h4>Lean on people. So many people want to genuinely help. Let them. </h4><p>You do not need to worry about having toilet paper left in the house, if your dog has been walked enough or even picking out an outfit for the services. During this time I was held up by those that cared about me the most and I don't think I would have made it without them. To this day, I can't thank those enough who showed up and stayed during the worst time of my life. I can also promise you that no one is judging you for a messy house, unwashed hair, or the same clothes two days in a row. All rules are out the window at this time. </p><p><div id="div-gpt-2646914387-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><p>Find a really good, happy song to listen to in the car. Why? Car rides are tough. It's nothing but you and the road and plenty of time to think about all that's been taken from you. The last thing you need is to walk into work or somewhere with puffy eyes and someone asking what's wrong. Especially because the answer is "everything" and I know how hard you worked to get yourself out of bed and to where you need to be. </p><p>Find yourself a therapist, if you don't have one already. It's life-changing. I credit one woman to helping me pick up the pieces of my broken self. She gave a part of my life back to me and I do not say that lightly. </p><p>Find a light for your darkest days. The harsh truth is that life has to move on, even if you aren't ready for it too. People go about their lives and you'll have to figure out your new "normal." It will look different then you had pictured. Take time with this. Nothing has to be figured out overnight. </p><p>It is important to remember how lucky we are to have had our moms for the length of time we did. They were able to see us grow up and evolve into young adults. However, I don't think you truly outgrow your parents. A girl always needs her mom. I think it's also important to acknowledge how unfair life can be. They should have never been taken from us so soon. It's important to feel those feelings, just please don't stay there. </p><p>I'm sorry that we're here together. </p><p>I am here to tell you I get it, more than anyone our age should. I'm here to tell you that life's unfair, beautiful, messy, and a blessing all at the same time. To tell you that you'll have good days and bad days. Sometimes you'll be the backbone for others and others times you'll fall apart and may have to literally peel yourself off the floor. I'm here to listen about all of your frustrations and life's new uncertainties. I'm here to just let you cry because sometimes the pain is just too much to handle. You are never alone, my friend. </p><h4>I miss my mom too. Every single day. </h4><p>My last promise to you is that there will come a moment when you realize that you've survived this long without her. You'll wonder how you've stayed strong all this time. Don't ever forget, it's her strength that raised you. Your million broken pieces will eventually be put back together, just with a different picture.</p><p>From, the girl who lost her mom, too. </p>
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