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Warnings About College To Incoming Freshmen As Told By Gifs
College is hard, but you will make it through.
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You are not alone.
This is for the girls who have dealt with an emotionally, mentally, physically or verbally abusive father.
The ones who have grown up with a false lens of what love is and how relationships should be. The ones who have cried themselves to sleep wondering why he hurts you and your family so much. This is for all the girls who fall in love with broken boys that carry baggage bigger than their own, thinking it's their job to heal them because you watched your mother do the same.
This is for the girls who swear to the heavens they are done with men and wouldn't dare consider marriage in fear of themselves and their future children being stuck like they once were — the ones with such rage and anger burning inside of them from years of tolerating the abuse and the ones who have shut themselves off emotionally. And especially to the ones whose hearts long for a father to love them the way it's described in stories and fairytales.
Why should we have to be labeled from the damage at the hands of a man who promised to love and protect us?
Your "Daddy Issues" do not define you. They do not define me.
The anger that burns inside of you that wasn't always there does not define you. It does not define me.
The love we lacked and sought time and time again through empty promises of change does not define you. It does not define me.
I am not going to be a hypocrite and make this letter about positivity and hope for the future and all of that good fluffy stuff because that's all we've ever known. "Act normal"... What is normal for a normal person in a normal household with a normal father? Is there such a thing? Are their families that don't walk on eggshells? "Don't start him up," "Don't roll your eyes," "He's in a good mood so don't mess up the day for us"... These sentences have become second nature to me... Have become part of my identity.
I walk on eggshells, have anger in my heart, and a brain that's trying to understand that the way he acts has nothing to do with me, but his childhood traumas. Part of me is uninterested in marriage and the idea of things being fluffy and sweet, only to turn sour after you walk down the aisle.
I want to love and be loved, but I know I can't do that until I fix myself. I want to heal but moving forward and still living here doesn't help. I want to be forgiving, but I don't know how...
To those who are going through the same thing... You are not alone. I am not alone.
"DESTINY IS FOR LOSERS. IT'S JUST A STUPID EXCUSE TO WAIT FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN INSTEAD OF MAKING THEM HAPPEN." - BLAIR WALDORF.
The world stopped in 2012 when our beloved show "Gossip Girl" ended. For six straight years, we would all tune in every Monday at 9:00 p.m. to see Upper Eastside royalty in the form of a Burberry headband clad Blair Waldorf. Blair was the big sister that we all loved to hate. How could we ever forget the epic showdowns between her and her frenemy Serena Van Der Woodsen? Or the time she banished Georgina Sparks to a Christian summer camp? How about that time when she and her girls took down Bart Bass? Blair is life. She's taught us how to dress, how to be ambitious, and most importantly, how to throw the perfect shade.
It's no secret that Blair is a fashionista. From her fabulous headbands that coincidentally go with her every outfit to her in season Tory Burch Flats (because we don't do last season's Tory Burch flats), Blair captivated us with her stunning style every Monday. Being the offspring of the hottest designer on the Upper Eastside and best friends with the "it girl" (debatable) Serena Van Der Woodsen, Blair always had to stay on her toes. Through her fashion, she taught us that no matter what you are going through, you must not look like your struggle. Always be fabulous.
BLUCK or CHAIR? I think we'll just go with the hottest couple on the Upper Eastside as a nickname for these two. This relationship that's shrouded in scandal grew from an illicit affair in a limo...need I say more? Throughout all of the scandals, triumphs, losses and suitors in between, these two have managed to stay ahead of the game and become THE face of Manhattan. How inspirational!
Blair is an icon. A global one at that. She taught us how to color coordinate with with accessories & Dior bags, how to scheme our way out of uncomfortable situations and to never settle for less. We all cringed when she single-handedly sent Georgina Sparks away to a Christian boot camp when she was harassing her bestie, Serena. We laughed when she banished that poor freshman from the Met steps because she was wearing "last season's Tory Burch shoes." We cried when she professed her love for Chuck millions and millions of time during the show. We love you and miss you, Blair. Thank you for teaching us that it's okay to be a total bitch.
We've all been there. From move-in day to the first finals week in college, your first term is an adventure from start to finish. In honor of college decisions coming out recently, I want to recap some of the most common experiences college freshmen experience.
You're moving your stuff onto your floor, and you will encounter people you don't know yet in the hallway. They live on your floor, so you'll awkwardly smile and maybe introduce yourself. As you walk away, you will wonder if they will ever speak to you again, but don't worry, there's a good chance that you will make some great friends on your floor!
There are plenty of awkward conversations, because of course, you have to figure out how to not get on each other's last nerves, but since you are living together, it is very easy to get along and hang out constantly. However, make sure you get of your room and make other friends too.
You will get up for your first class, and while you may be nervous, you will be excited too, because all your life people and movies have told you that college is different. The classes are different, and you will feel ready for anything that first day of class can throw your way.
Everyone warns you about the dining hall, so of course, you are wary to try it for the first time, but plot twist: it tastes good. You are so relieved because your college defies the norm of bad dining hall food -- for now.
It's pretty common knowledge that college dorms and buildings are not exactly pristine, so even if you aren't looking for it, you will find some damage. Hopefully, it isn't in your dorm room though.
There will come a time when you will not want to go to class, and whether it is because of the time of the class or the content of the class or whatever, the truth is that at some point you will skip a class. This is college, so it isn't big deal to miss class, but you will need to make sure that you stay on top of the content, even if you don't go.
Whenever someone tells you something or you have to explain something, there will come a point when you just say, "college," as your explanation, because really, that's all it comes down to. You will change, because that's what college does to you: it pushes you to grow and mature.
Honestly, if you make it more than a month without getting sick of the dining hall food, I will be impressed, because seriously, no matter where you go, the food will get to you at some point. When you are unable to consume dining hall food, you will turn to food trucks, take-out, and, most importantly, free food.
Let's face it, you will have less privacy, and even if you are good friends with your roommate, there will come a moment when you are just too annoyed to deal with them. The important thing is to talk it out, so that you can move past it and continue to be good roommates.
When everything seems a little confusing and impossible to figure out, you will feel like everyone else is able to figure their lives out, but here's the truth: most of us are in the same boat. Don't assume that people's lives are perfect because it's quite likely that they think you have everything figured out too.
The first set of finals in college can be a daunting task, and you will wonder how to study properly, because you probably didn't study properly in high school. It will be difficult, but the key is really using your time wisely and making study groups.
So, at the end of the day, to my fellow freshmen out there, we will make it through our first year. So, congrats! And, yes, we probably have had moments like this:
Or, even like this:
But, hey, we made it. We faced the awkward, the scary, the annoying, and the sleep-depriving, and soon we will have finished our first year of college. We seriously done good, and I'm proud of us.
As for my high school seniors out there that are reading this, some of these moments may seem terrible, but I swear, it's all worth it. College is a journey, and at least now you can say:
Yes, you will have more responsibility, but it's good. So good luck with your decisions, and don't fret too much, because at the end of the day, you'll end up at a college that is great for you.
The college years are a time for personal growth and success. Everyone comes in with expectations about how their life is supposed to turn out and envision the future. We all freak out when things don't go exactly as planned or when our expectations are unmet. As time goes on, we realize that the uncertainty of college is what makes it great. Here are some helpful reminders about life in college.
1. Time management is the key to success.
2. Don't leave homework for the night before it's due.
3. Create a relationship with your professors, especially those who teach the classes within your major.
4. Take advantage of school sponsored programs.
5. Go to events on campus.
6. Keep an open mind.
7. Study hard, even when you don't want to.
8. Go to the library.
9. Don't stress yourself out to the point where you can't have any fun.
10. Remember that one bad test grade doesn't define you.
11. Don't let people's opinions define you.
12. Go to sporting events, even if you don't like sports.
13. Stay in touch with your friends from home.
14. You don't have to go out every single weekend.
15. Actually, you don't have to go out at all.
16. Stay true to who you are; don't change for anyone.
17. You won't stay friends with everyone, but your true friends will stay with you forever.
18. Call your parents often.
19. Never give up.
20. Take risks and live in the moment.
21. These are the most important and fun years of your life. Smile, stay positive, and enjoy every aspect of it.
You only get four years of college, enjoy it because one day you are going to be sad it is over.
Recently I completed my freshman year of college, and boy, what an experience. It was a completely new learning environment and I can't believe how much I learned. In an effort to save time, here are the ten biggest lessons I learned from my first year of college.
For me, the scariest part of starting school was that I was alone, that I wouldn't be able to make any friends and that I would stick out. Despite being told time and time again that everyone had these same feelings, it didn't really click until the first day when I saw all the other freshman looking as uneasy and uncomfortable as me. Therefore, I cannot stress this enough, everyone is feeling as nervous as you.
In addition to being nervous, not being able to make friends was my greatest fear. However, I learned that it's actually really simple. You pretty much just have to go up to someone and say "hello." Most colleges also have the freshman come a few days early so they can get acclimated to the campus, which is the perfect opportunity to make new friends.
If you're lucky, you never have to worry about the horror that is communal bathrooms. If I thought sharing two bathrooms between four other people at home was bad, it was nothing like sharing one with a whole floor of people. You lose all sense privacy and it's kinda like a public bathroom, except you have to see these people on a daily basis. Therefore, you know when exactly someone didn't wash their hands. The main thing is, everyone is experiencing this loss of privacy too, and you just have to do your own things without worrying too much about everyone else.
Living with a roommate can be a challenge, especially if you've never had to share a room before. The first few weeks are super awkward, but after a while, you figure out a system and learn to cohabit the same space. Just be mindful of them and their space and you'll be fine. And if you're lucky, your roommate ends up being your best friend.
Food at college is like food in high school, some days it's good, but most, not really. One difference, though, you pretty much get 24-hour access to food. Which, in my opinion, is the best part of being at school. However, if you find yourself craving a home cooked meal, make sure you have all the pots and pans necessary to make something in the kitchen. Also, make sure you have plenty of easy-to-make foods in your room, in case you don't want to leave your room and/or just want a quick snack.
The most drastic difference between high school and college were the professors. Some professors let you call them by their first name, something I never actually did, and above all, professors do not care if you're there or not. They also won't hold your hand or make sure you hand in assignments. Some professors don't even tell you due dates because they're in the syllabus. That being said, professors are always there if you need help, and are more than willing to find times to meet with you. Professors aren't there to control you or tell you what to do, they're there to teach, whether you're there or not.
College classes are great. Four
Netflix is a great way to chill-out and relax between or after class, but only in moderation. There are so many times when I decided to watch one more episode instead of starting on that paper or studying for that exam. Despite this, Netflix is a great way to reward yourself for doing work. Did you finish up all the homework for one class? Sweet, go watch one episode. Regardless of when you watch Netflix, just make sure that you have enough time to do all the work that needs to be done.
For most people, college is the first time you get to be on your own, without actually being on your own. You don't have parents or teachers or other adults monitoring what you should or shouldn't be doing. So this means that you have to decide to go to class, you have to decide if you do your work, you have to decide what to do and when to do it. You also have to take care of everything that goes wrong too. Something wrong with your financial aid? You have to go meet with the people. Need a tutor? Go sign up for one. This is the first time you get to test out being an adult, if you make mistakes, oh well, as long as you learn from them.
The most important lesson I learned from my freshman year of school; be yourself. Don't let how you think you should act or how you think people expect you to act, ruin your college experience. Just be yourself and do you own thing. If you're worried that people will judge you, don't be. Like I said before, everyone is in the same boat and they're too busy with their own life to be worried about yours. If you act like yourself, you'll have an easier time finding people to spend time with.
College is a whole other world in itself. As long as you find some great friends and don't stress too much, it can be an amazing time.
Dear High School Friend Group,
My sweet angels, where would I be without you guys. We all grew up together because we either met in middle school or high school and watched each other grow up and get "old." We got to go to prom together and then graduate together. Then watched each other as we continued our lives in college, joining sororities and meeting people who will impact our lives forever. It all has happened so fast.
As much as I love every single one of you, it is not a secret that college and being apart has torn at our friendships a little. Each of us now have our own lives, new people to tell our secrets and gossip too and new people to do weird and goofy things with like we all used to. Things are getting harder in school as we come closer to figuring out what we want to do with our whole lives and that is a little scary. But anyway, we are busy, busy being successful women like we had always planned on doing.
Yes, this is all a little bittersweet. Maybe a little more saddening now that you're reading and realizing how much our lives have actually changed since graduating high school. But, I hope you understand by now that the change is OK! We may have drifted apart, but that is not the end of the world. I think it is important for us to keep in contact as much as possible because we have known each other our whole entire lives and know everything about each other to the tip of a needle. Those kinds of people deserve a spot in your life forever.
This is all becoming so clear to me as I approach the end of the first year of college. The friends I have made in college so far are wonderful and are people who have forever impacted my life and will be around hopefully my whole life. But something else that has come to me is how blessed I am to have you guys as well. Nobody, no matter how close you are to them, will get you like your friend group from high school does.
To my high school friend group, I will no longer call you guys my high school friend group, I will now refer to you as my best friends for life. Because congratulations, you have made it into the next chapter of my life and hopefully, more chapters to come. You all are more than just friends, you are family. I love you all more than you know.
Love,
Your Best Friend for Life
Oh college, we can’t live with you, but we can’t live without you. It’s a love/hate relationship, really. College is an experience that no one can ever prepare you for, and maybe that’s a good thing. You never really expect any of the things that college encompasses until you are there. College is fun, but don’t have too much fun. C’s get degrees, but they don’t get you into graduate school.
Here is College in Gifs.
Let's start with move-in day, aka Independence day (it is actually a pretty sad day):
Your parents might even ask you "are you sure this is where you belong?" As much as they might not admit it, they are scared too.
Your first day of classes:
While we all don't want to admit it, behind our brave faces, we are scared.
We are all scared of embarrassment or anything else there is to be scared of. The worst embarrassment ever is walking into the wrong classroom; it is horrible, especially if class has started. Plus, everyone knows that feel of using new school supplies.
All that walking:
Even small campuses seem huge when you leave even a minute later than normal to get to class.
Your first weekend on campus:
What you think you'll be doing:
What you are actually doing:
While many do party as much as they can, it isn't realistic to party every night of the week. You aren't always partying, especially near finals week.
Having so many food options within walking distance:
Some nights you'll feel like ramen, but most nights you will just take the walk to Chick-fil-a or Moe's and eat your little heart out. I mean hey, that's what a meal plan is for, right?
Also, food costs money, and balancing a job with college isn't for anyone, so some nights you would rather sleep through dinner than pay for it.
Finally, Final's Week/Homework all the time:
If you thought you wouldn't have any homework after high school, you are wrong. The difference between high school homework and college homework is that in college if you don't do your homework they don't call your parents, you just fail. Final's Week, you mean "Cry Every Night Week"?
In the end, you are bettering your life. You are ensuring that you have a great future, even if sometimes it is hard. College is an experience you never forget, but it's also a time of discovering who you are and who you want to be in the future. Think of all the people you know that went to college, I guarantee that they all miss their college days, and most of them wish that they could do it all over again. Love every second of college, because one day you are going to wish you took it more seriously or had more fun.
The "Gossip Girl" series may be over, but Blair Waldorf's iconic character lives in our hearts forever. Blair was the queen of the Upper East Side, and a character you either loved or hated. She taught us everything we needed to know about life, love and of course, how to score a Chuck Bass. So the next time you feel a bit lost and are in need of guidance, look no further than to the Queen B herself.
As I spend my Sunday avoiding my homework and other adult responsibilities, I realized that I've watched this series over and over about a million times. Sadly, there isn't a Blair quote I don't know, so I came up with a list of a few favorites. You know you love her...xoxo
Blair Waldorf never failed to let anyone and everyone know that she was in charge, and that wasn't changing anytime soon.
Because who needs a king when you're already the queen?
Not cocky, but most definitely confident. Nothing could ever stand between Waldorf woman and a goal.
Finals are coming up? Yup. Same, Blair!
An all-time favorite and a quote that I always find myself living by. Things are never as bad as one may think and could always be worse.
In a world full of Barney's and Bloomingdale's, this couldn't be closer to the truth. Retail therapy is always a must, and no one did that better than Blair Waldorf.
Considering the fact that I am a FIDM student, I figured this is the most appropriate and relatable Blair quote, and probably the deepest, too.
Blair is not one to be messed with. I always try to channel her boldness in all aspects of my life.
College is an endless cycle of crappy, sleepless nights, tedious, boring lectures, and hours of never-ending piles of homework.
This thought is almost always paired with a confused look and a glance around the classroom to see if anyone else is as lost as I am. Professors jump from one subject to another and sometimes it's hard to even follow what they are talking about.
Let's be real. Students go to class because their grade depends on it. We really don't need to be sitting through a lecture of the same Powerpoint presentation that is online for us to see anyways. We are going to have to reteach ourselves the material come the day of the exam anyways.
From my experiences, lots of the students in my classes are so annoying. Whether they won't shut up in class, they keep texting under their desk, they are snoring, or just being downright rude, people get on my nerves really quickly.
As I said before, college is not the perfect place for sleep. Whether you are up late because of a dorm party next door or thinking about how much work you have to do, you practically never get sleep. Naps are always a good idea especially when the majority of people are in class.
Seriously, who likes the days we have to go to class? All we look forward to is the weekend where we can just relax and not think about school (at least for a little while).
My college professors love giving us papers every day of class. It almost seems like writing a book would be so much easier than writing 10-page papers due every week for each subject.
Teachers have a special eye for looking for students who do not want to participate in class. As much as I pray that I will not get called on, it usually always ends up happening. Seriously though, did the teacher see my hand up? No.
It is undeniable that you will miss home at least once during your time in college. Whether it is your bedroom, your mother's cooking, or your shower, you will miss being at home.
College is known for slamming students with homework up their eyeballs. It seems like you don't even have time to get all your work done, let alone eat, sleep or any other vital functions.
Whether it is a 5-minute cell phone break or a month-long holiday break, we deserve to take a break from all the stress and work we have to do.
We all know the pain of losing someone we cared about. But heartbreak can be a surprising opportunity to get back in touch with the original love of your life...yourself.
This is a response to To my first heartbreak.
Everyone knows the feeling of heartbreak. Whether it's caused by a breakup, a falling out with a friend, or a clash with family, the symptoms are similar: depressed mood, lethargy, crying, anger, exhaustion.
Sometimes, our pain and anger turns inward. We get caught up in blaming ourselves for our part in the conflict, wondering what we could've done differently. What if there was a way we could've salvaged the relationship that meant so much to us? What if we still can?
There are no easy answers to those questions. Thinking about them is bound to cause us pain. The most important thing we can do to recover from the pain of a broken relationship doesn't actually have to do with the relationship at all. Instead, it's about us. In the painful confusion after heartbreak, it's time to turn our focus inward and take care of ourselves.
How do I do that? you might be thinking. Self-care is a buzzword that's thrown around a lot in the days after a heartbreak, with varying definitions of what it actually means. Is it meditation? Bubble baths? Long hours of yoga and journaling?
In my experience, the answer is deceptively simple: reconnect with yourself. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
On the physical side, that may mean yoga, if that's something you enjoy or have always wanted to try. It could mean going to the gym or playing a favorite sport to release endorphins. Or it could simply mean taking a short walk around the block to get some sunlight.
Mentally, I've found journaling is an extremely helpful practice. It allows you to lay out the jumbled problems in your head, and take the time to make sense of them. If you're not a fan of writing, you can read self-help books or watch psychology Youtube videos. You can also talk to a trusted loved one and ask for their objective advice.
Finally, we have to take care of our emotions. The first step is often simply letting them be felt. If you feel like crying for hours under your blanket, do it. If you can't get off the floor for a day, don't. Let everything out, and try to reassure yourself you'll still be there when it's all done. Put on a comforting movie, watch funny TikTok's, re-read your favorite book, call your best friend. You'll survive this.
Summer: a time (usually) free from school work and a time to relax with your friends and family. Maybe you go on a vacation or maybe you work all summer, but the time off really does help. When you're in college you become super close with so many people it's hard to think that you won't see many of them for three months. But, then you get that text saying, "Hey, clear your schedule next weekend, I'm coming up" and you begin to flip out. Here are the emotions you go through as your best friend makes her trip to your house.
It's actually happening!!! Your partner in crime decided to come to town and you could not be happier. You begin to think of all the places you're going to take her and where you're going to eat. You maybe even deicide there's just too many things and not enough time, so eating two dinners, just because, sounds like a real possibility.
Now you have to wait. Maybe she's driving in from a few hours away or maybe she lives across the country. Is she going to get lost? Did her flight get delayed? The suspense is literally killing you. Regardless, you're sitting in your room waiting for your phone to light up saying she just got in.
She's pulling into your driveway! Your better half is finally here and you nearly bust your a** running down your steps. It's surreal, but now you get to hit the town with your bestie. This is the best day of your life!! (not really but it feels pretty close).
Now the fun begins. You eat at all your favorite restaurants, watch movies with your family and just catch up on all that you've missed (even though you've texted every day since you left campus). You introduce her to your friends from home and your brother begins to think that you're actually connected at the hip.
And just like that, your perfect bubble is popped and it's time to go back to the real world. Your buddy has to go home and you couldn't be more upset. Thank God for FaceTime because that's all you'll be doing until the fall when you're back together.
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