Half Siblings Doesn't Mean You Have To Love Them Half As Much
Start writing a post
Community

Half Siblings Doesn't Mean You Have To Love Them Half As Much

What it's like to share half of your DNA...and your life.

9
Half Siblings Doesn't Mean You Have To Love Them Half As Much

Having siblings is not easy. For one, they equally the most annoying, disgusting people ever, and also the people you would stick up for if anyone other than you insulted them. Also, there's always the question of who is better...obviously it's you. Anyway, the fact is, there is a relationship that we have with our siblings that isn't like any other. That doesn't always mean it's a good relationship or that you like your sibling, but hopefully it is and you love them even when you want to punch them.

Having 'half siblings' is much the same if they are in your life. If you don't know what a half sibling is, it is a sister or brother that only shares one parent with you. Sometimes this means you'll look much different and might have different surnames. As complicated as family is, having half siblings only makes it harder. It's in the way some parents will use it as an excuse to keep you apart. Or, the feeling that even though you have them, they aren't all yours. And that is a hard concept for kids--especially younger ones, to understand.

Growing up with 6 siblings, all half, I learned all of those things. I felt what it was like to not quite fit and not understand why. But I also got to have these people who were my siblings and who I knew I would love, even though they were annoying little kids. I had a strong bond with most of them in the knowledge that we knew we were siblings even though we weren't all the same. And because I had that experience, I learned a lot of important things that I know have benefited me as I form new relationships and maybe have children of my own some day.

One of the most essential things is to know that it isn't your fault if you don't see them. For a long time, I felt as though I was the reason I wasn't with them. I wasn't trying hard enough. I was messing up plans. I wasn't giving the adults what they asked of me. Now I know that wasn't true, I was giving everything I could. But as a little kid myself, I didn't see it that way. All I knew was that I couldn't see the people who meant the most to me, and there were those who were telling me it was my fault.

Being older now and in a much different situation, I can see that it wasn't my fault. It couldn't have been. And before someone thinks to themselves "yea, but it IS my fault, our situations are different" ask yourself this question: if it were totally up to you, would you be with your siblings? And then remember that it wasn't totally up to you because you weren't the adult, you were as helpless as the other kids. Until all of you are 18, there will always be some things that aren't up to you when it comes to half siblings.

Identity confusion is also something that usually comes with having half siblings. From a young age, we learn that parents get together and have babies. However, we don't talk about what happens when they have babies with other people. What happens is that those babies grow up and ask "why?" They want to know why their sisters and brothers don't have the same last name or the same skin color. They are confused because their siblings have family that isn't theirs, too, and why they might not be with each other on some holidays or occasions. This is a confusing thing, and no one prepares kids for it. While there are some parents that may talk with kids about it, it isn't always easy to notice.

For one of my siblings, it was in the way she looked at her surname. She didn't like that it was different than everyone else's and wanted to change it. She would cry every time someone even brought it up, and it made her feel like she wasn't part of the sibling group. Similarly, I was also given a different surname as well, but I never minded as much. Instead, it was the fact that none of my siblings looked like me. When we were alone, none of us cared. We would find matching outfits and say we were twins when we played house. But because I looked so different, people would always ask if I was adopted and tell me that they couldn't be my siblings because they didn't look anything like me.

Of course we would always set people straight, but as we got older, it wasn't as easy to brush it off. We wanted to be like normal siblings and we weren't. We would always have to worry about people judging us. There was a tension in the dynamic that we had. The insecurities and hurts that we all had would inevitably find the way into many of our fights. There was also unintentional resentment that I know we all felt at some point because there seemed to be no other way to get out those feelings.

On the other hand, if half siblings don't don't live together but still see each other frequently, they can show one another different things. Some may be immersed in different cultures and they can teach their sibling about the things that are important to them. This not only gives each an awareness of others who aren't like them, it also provides a bonding experience for the kids who can't always be together. It also teaches kids to hold on to the important things. Albeit, it isn't the best way, it can still show the kids that there is always someone out there who cares about them and understands them in that way even if they aren't together all of the time.

I will never say that having half siblings is easy or that it is preferable. It isn't. What I will say is that it is something that has made me who I am. It has taught me how fragile yet strong a relationship can be. Sadly, it has also shown me that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, sometimes the best thing for you or them is if you let them go for a while. But the most notable thing for me is that family isn't always the people that look like you or share your last name. It's the people who are there for you no matter what; those who push you to be the best, most successful version of you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1840
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

303937
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

190564
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

92730
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

286101

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

172244

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

114736
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Take A Look At The Extravagant Lane Woods Jewelry Collection For Valentine's Gift Ideas

So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection

335093

Just like diamonds are a girl's best friend, so are pearls, rubies, gold, emeralds, and any type of luxurious jewelry you can get your hands on! A woman is incomplete without a piece of jewelry on her and it is a gorgeous accessory required for all occasions. So if you are currently looking to purchase jewelry for yourself or as a romantic gift for your S.O., you should definitely look at the marvelous and ornately designed Lane Woods Jewelry collection.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments