An All-Purpose Guide To Hunting Witches
Arts Entertainment

Double, Bubble, Toil And... WE ARE IN TROUBLE! Witches Are Brewing!!!

An all-purpose guide to hunting witches.

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A full moon is upon us… the perfect kind of night for conjuring. The covens are uniting and the witches are brewing, so you know what that means: TIME TO GEAR UP! The Maidens of Fright (witches) are no doubt plotting yet another day of destruction, beckoning Sodom and Gomorrah as they do every October ("AHS" Style). So, before they are able to go cast their spells and go all Winnie Sanderson on our asses (Cult classics, anyone?), here is a comprehensive guide to hunt down the trepidation inducing broom-riders…

You know the deal… THE HEEDING, DO IT!!!

Do your homework!

Witches come with a slew of historical and cultural lore, and thusly, impact. From the roots of Wicca to the Salem Witch Trials, to the TV show, "Charmed." There is no doubting the influence of the witchy-ness of black cats and broomsticks. And we cannot forget… "Hocus Pocus"! Nuff said.

Knowing Which Witch is Which!

Discerning the suspected witch (female, male, or otherwise) from a normal human can indeed be a tricky task. But, there are some tell-tale signs. Keep a watchful eye for the presence of black cats, broom collections, affinities for crystals, oils and brews, fancy-decrepit homes and old candles… oh, and if they are green, you probably have them (make sure it is NOT makeup)!

Preparing yourself!

To battle a magical foe, one needs to be magical in their own right. To do so, finally give in to having an all-weekend Harry Potter/Lord of The Rings bash, and educate yourself! Throw in some "Charmed" and "Witches of East End" for good measure!

If you feel so inclined, go to a priest and have him give you a cross (crucifix), holy water, a holy worry stone, some graveyard dirt, and salt for protection circles. YOU NEED LOTS OF SALT (what you can find in the local market will work too)!

Facing your foe!

Facing a foe who can harness the dark arts will no doubt be a taxing and difficult, but I am here to tell you… eh, it'll be hard. But you might be alright. Just go for it, slugger! (But seriously... maybe you shouldn't).

The Aftermath!

Seriously, you shouldn't go! But of you do, let me know how it goes. Really. I want to make sure you are OK…

Be careful out there Y'all… they'll cast spells on you! One wrong move and you'll be licking yourself… cuz you will be turned into a cat.

Happy Hocusing and Pocusing!


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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