You Should Not Have To Fix Your Boyfriend

It's Not Ariana Grande's — Or Any Girl's — Responsibilty To Fix A Broken Boyfriend

You can only do so much, do not sacrifice your well-being for a boy.

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You would have to live under a rock if you haven't heard about the falling out of Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande recently. Pete has been suffering mentally because of the relentless Internet trolls mocking him and tweeting malicious things. That being said, Ariana was right there willing to help him at any cost when she, and the rest of Internet, saw the suicidal message he said on Twitter. I think that Ariana Grande was doing what any kind-hearted and loving person would do for someone in need, and Pete just shut her down as if she never mattered to him. Just wow. Pete needs to figure himself out and it's not Ariana's job to figure it out for him.

I think there is common blame placed on girls for being broken, and their boyfriends are left to fix all of those problems and make everything sunshine and rainbows. Wrong. Boyfriends can be just as broken as any girlfriend can, and it's not the girlfriend's job to fix her man, just as it's not a boyfriends job to fix his girl. People need to learn self-love before they can really love anyone else. Only when you fall in love with who you see in the mirror can you find the person who is meant to be with you.

Obviously, Pete and Ariana have been through a lot, but that doesn't mean it's her job to make all of his demons go away. He is an adult and needs to seek professional help to sort out what's been going on. Our significant others lean on us for help through times of trial and tribulation, but there comes a point when you can only do so much for them before they start to drag you into a negative place. You have to be strong enough to say no or even walk away, not because you can't handle what they are going through, but because you know you have to put yourself first.

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Ladies, if your boyfriend is broken beyond repair, do not take it upon yourself to be the one to fix him. You can only do so much and his family can only do so much. It is up to him to change himself for the better, you cannot run to his aid every five seconds because he can't handle being a big boy and doing things on his own.

Your well-being is so important and it's not worth throwing it away because of a boyfriend's toxic behavior and attitude. You come first. Your boyfriend has the tools to fix himself and you should not need to do all of the work for him.

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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I'm Learning To Appreciate Low Key Dates As Much As Fancy Ones

My boyfriend once told me he considered Taco Bell drive thrus and funny Youtube video binges dates, and I didn't really appreciate that until recently.

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When I was little, I had really grand ideas of romance and friendship. Older kids went on big fancy dates, with cute dresses, flowers, and spontaneous situations. When I came to be that age though, the idea of fancy dates became kind of lost on me, but I still liked the idea of big fancy dates if the opportunity ever arose. I'm one of those people who loves to create grand expectations for themselves, builds situations and ideas up before they even happen.

However, as I've grown up, started earning my own income, and learned to appreciate the person more than the setting, I've learned to appreciate the cheap, low effort dates for what they are, time with a person you care about a lot, with the added bonus of more money staying in your pocket.

My boyfriend and I are long distance, so a lot of our dates are just eating dinner together over Facebook video call and attempting to synchronize funny Youtube videos we can laugh at together. We don't get a lot of opportunities to see each other in person during the school year, so we try to make the best out of what we have. As much as I love the fancy parts of dressing up and trying new foods that come with what I guess would be considered more traditional dates, I feel more comfortable and relaxed with our low effort, low budget video call dates. A lot of that has translated into us being more comfortable around one another, something that definitely adds to our dynamic when we are around each other.

When we are together, we like to plan these big fancy dates, but we don't always follow through. Sometimes, having no plan is more fun than sticking to one for the whole day, and figuring out fun stuff to do together. Overall, it just seems like spontaneity helps us try new things and avoid just doing the same old movie date we like to do whenever we see each other.

My boyfriend recently told me he considers anytime we've gone to Taco Bell together a date, and we go there together a lot. At first, I thought this was silly, but then I thought of the drives we go on after or the times we've just sat there, eating and talking without having to yell over a hundred other conversations. Nothing means more to me than honest and open communication and discussion, so it started to make sense to me that we would consider all these drive-thru runs dates. We always seem to come away from them knowing a little more about the other person. Even if the food isn't exactly Michelin star quality, the relationship definitely is.

As a romantic person, I love dates of all kinds, but in finally learning to embrace drive-thru dates, I've remembered what the whole point of a date is. A date isn't for the cute, aesthetic stories, or a reason to get dressed up (even though I really like that part).

The whole point of a date is to get to know the person better.

Even though I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, there's still a lot about him I have yet to know, and I feel like there's no better setting for that then when we're at our most comfortable. And sitting on our beds two states away from each other on Facebook video chat, or stuffing our faces with cheap fast food in a parked car in front of my hometown's lake seem like pretty comfortable places if you ask me.

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