I used to constantly lie to myself and think that I was so happy in my past relationships. I even lied to my partners! I can't tell you how many times I've heard an "I Love You" that I reciprocated but never meant. I genuinely used to think that it was better to be with someone I didn't love than to be alone. WRONG! I can't tell you how happy I am since I started dating myself instead. Now, before you think "that is really cliche... dating yourself??" Yes. Dating myself.

Since forcing myself to be alone I am so much more capable of discovering my own likes and dislikes. I can't believe how many things I never realized I really loved doing because I was too busy faking a smile for someone who wasn't even worth my time! I really love painting (even though I'm not the best at it) and cooking and dancing like nobody's watching. I realized I don't really want to be a gym fiend and play video games all day. Right there, though. Had I known I didn't like those things beforehand, I wouldn't even have considered dating that guy.

Through being single I learned a valuable lesson:

Being alone does not equate to being lonely.

Many times we consider that being physically by ourselves can lead to us feeling lonely, when in fact I've felt pure euphoria in times when I was by myself. I have been single for about 4 years now and I get so happy when I consider the person I am. The love I have gained towards myself over these past few years has truly been so life altering. Now I know exactly what I seek in a partner. Will I be perfect and have my next relationship be THE one? Who knows! I definitely don't. All I know is no matter what, I know there was more thought and consideration when deciding whether or not I will have a wonderful relationship with a given person. I'll know we have similar mindsets and emotional intelligence, and even our differences will help the relationship flourish.

If you're reading this, though, and think this is simply concerning love, my friend, this is directly correlated to your entire life. Your love life, your friends, your family, and even your career. Once you allow yourself to truly get to know your own worth, you'll realize what is worth putting up with and what just isn't. Some say childish and toxic games end in high school, but they are deeply mistaken. Not everyone gains maturity at the same time. Maturity doesn’t always just come with age. Sometimes it is gained through trauma. Sometimes maturity is innate. And sometimes maturity comes with gaining insight. So if you ever catch yourself feeling bad for rejecting someone, asking for a raise, cutting out a toxic friend, or sticking up for yourself, then it might just be time to really sit alone and do some introspection. At the end of the day, the only person who knows how you can live your best life is you.