Ever since I started my current relationship over two years ago, we have been long-distance. And we will continue to be long distance until the end of this year when I finally graduate. Obviously, long distance relationships are never easy, and I'm sure you have heard that most of them fail. That doesn't have to be the case.
In this article, I will be sharing six tips for how to survive a long-distance relationship using my own personal experience. You don't have to break up because of distance!
You Have To Love Each Other
I know this seems obvious but hear me out. If you're not head-over-heels, madly in love with your partner, long-distance just won't work. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to work through the distance, and the only way that can happen is with the right amount of understanding, concern, and love.
Call Each Other Every Day
Seriously, every day. Schedule a time that works best for the both of you where you know you will get a chance to talk every day. It is so therapeutic to be able to tell the person you love about your day and hear about theirs in return. Especially if you don't have a lot of chances to talk during the day, your scheduled call will be something to look forward to.
FaceTime or Skype would be even better. When you physically can't be with each other for extended periods of time, it is so nice to at least be able to see their face when you talk.
Don't Expect A Constant Dialogue
Like I mentioned in the previous tip, there is a chance you won't be able to talk a lot during the day. You both have your own busy lives, and you cannot expect to have a constant back-and-forth conversation throughout the day. Though this goes for all relationships, it is especially significant for long-distance ones.
It is understandable that the longer you are apart the more you will want to talk to your partner, but you cannot expect them to drop everything to carry on an uninterrupted conversation. This leads me to my next tip…
You should try to stay updated with your partner, but when there is physical distance between you, it is impossible to know exactly what is going on in their life. They may be swamped with school or work and not able to talk or visit much, and you have to be okay with that. If they go out with their friends one night and aren't able to call you until late, that is okay. You both still have personal lives, and you cannot always expect them to be at your beck and call.
To be clear, this is NOT an excuse for you or your partner to stop putting in effort; just be understanding about the things going on in their life that you may not see or understand. Again, this goes for most relationships, but especially when there is distance.
Don't Be Envious
This one is hard. If you have been in a long-distance relationship, you know the feeling of seeing new couples all around you practically living together. You think, "it's not fair that they have only been together for three months and they get to see each other every day." Instead, I urge you to look at those couples and think, "I can't wait for that to be me and my partner some day!"
I promise you, this will make you so much more secure and happy with your own relationship. Learn to be happy for other couples and excited for your own relationship.
Visit Each Other As Much As Possible
This one is also a given. The more you can see your partner the better. If this distance is less than two hours, you may be able to alternate seeing each other every weekend. Once it gets up to a three- or four-hour drive, I suggest alternating every other weekend; this way you will only have to make the drive once a month. If the drive is even longer, maybe try alternating every month.
Even if your visits are few and far in-between, seeing each other is definitely worth it. There is no feeling like being able to physically touch and hold the person that means the most to you.
If you are struggling in your own long-distance relationship or considering starting one, I am telling you it can work out. As long as you both put in the effort and want to make it work, it can work. Again, you don't have to break up because of distance!