"You're so picky."

"But, he likes you! Why won't you date him?"

"You're so shallow."

When the topic of dating comes up, everyone has an ideal list of what they look for in a partner. Physical attributes and personality traits all go into what makes up a person. They may be a sweet, goofy brunette who loves to make you laugh or a very athletic blonde who loves a good adventure. Whatever your type might be, you have one. For most girls I know, we have a very distinct and specific list of what we want our future husbands to be like. For example, most say a sense of humor, kindness, good with children, have future goals/dreams, etc. So, my question is, if we are so specific when it comes to hypothetical situations, why are we so lenient when it comes to real boys?

1. "He may not be perfect, but he's giving me all this attention."

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So many girls (and guys) may want to date, but most of the time, they are just wanting some form of romantic attention. Whether that's physical attention like going out on dates or kissing or mental attention like compliments, attention is something people want. It's not a bad thing whatsoever, I mean, it's nice to have someone who is putting time into you. However, I have witnessed so many situations where one person really isn't feeling the other person. But, they don't end it because they would rather keep that attention than go back to being lonely. So, my tip is that yes, the attention may be nice, but it's just temporary. When you are with someone you actually like, that attention will feel so much more special.

2. "I feel like this is my only chance at dating."

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For some reason, so many of us feel undesirable. So, when someone shows interest in us, we feel almost obligated to like them back. We may not even think they are attractive (physically or mentally), but we somehow convince ourselves to be attracted to them. But, in all honesty, you aren't undesirable. This isn't your only chance at dating. You will find someone. I know it's easy to just convince yourself to like someone because they like you, but when there is actual chemistry, you shouldn't feel like forcing anything.

3. "He doesn't hit all my qualities, but he hits most of them."

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My friends and I discuss this point a lot when it comes to major beliefs like religion, for example. So many of us put on your "Ideal List" that we want our future husbands to have a strong relationship with God. But, when it comes to actually dating, if the boy we like isn't religious, we let it slide. We defend him with things like, "He may not be a Christian, but he's nice or funny, etc," or "Well he doesn't go to church, but he says he is a Christian and that is good enough for me." In the moment, we justify or let things slide because we want to date. But, in the long run, your "ideals" are your ideals for a reason. Topics like religion or other beliefs may be easy to let slide in the beginning, but they will come up eventually. So, if it's important to you, like a belief system, I think you should be pretty strict about it. Don't let it slide.

4. "My family/friends don't like him, but I don't care."

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You know that saying about how dogs and babies have the best intuition? It's pretty true. But, your loved ones usually have pretty good intuition too. If your best friend or your mom really doesn't have a good feeling about the boy you like, they probably have a good reason. I promise that they aren't jealous. I promise they aren't trying to ruin your life. They love you and want the best for you. Just end it with him, you'll be thankful you did in the long run.

5. "I can't see us getting married, but I'm not gonna end it because of that."

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To some, this may be controversial, but if you are older than 16 years old, why are you dating just to date? If you are with someone, in an adult relationship, and you can't imagine being with them forever, why are you with them? I understand if you don't want to get married, but even just being with someone forever, that is good enough. If you are just dating someone because it's convenient, but can't imagine marrying them, you are wasting your time and theirs. Just be single, instead of playing house with your significant other.

Dating can be difficult. Hard. Or even confusing. It takes work and effort. It probably won't just fall into your lap. Prince Charming probably won't ride up on a horse and sweep you away. So, stop making it that easy. Just because a boy is interested in you, doesn't mean you owe him. You don't have to date him. So, instead of dating around because it's convenient, stick to your standards. Wait for a man that you don't have to make up an excuse to be with.