I Want To Find Someone I Can Do Anything With Even If It's Nothing At All

I Want To Find Someone I Can Do Anything With Even If It's Nothing At All

There's always someone to do something with but never no one to do nothing with.

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Winter break always brings about a surge of memories - high school friends, past relationships, and childhood endeavors. It's my time to relax and not think about classes, college, and impending adulthood. Usually, you can find me laying down on the couch with my mom and sister binge watching some sappy Netflix show. Recently we've got attached to Freeform's "Switched at Birth", which surprisingly gives some great advice and hard truth about friends, family and romantic relationships. In one episode, a character mentions that "there's always someone to do something with but never no one to do nothing with". For some reason, this stuck with me and I began to think more and more about it. It was in this simple statement that I had a sort of revelation.

I want someone that I can have as much fun curled up on the couch with them as jet-setting around the world. Someone who can make me laugh without trying too hard. Someone who even when things aren't so exciting and new, doesn't get too comfortable. Someone to do nothing with doesn't sound too hard to find, but it's harder than it sounds. I have plenty of girlfriends that I do that with all the time.

Finding a guy to do nothing with is so much harder, mainly because society says we should always be doing something. Between classes, sorority life, friends and extracurriculars it's hard to fit in time to do more than I'm already doing. I need someone who I can study within the library and grab lunch with. Someone who understands that I can have just as much fun in a t-shirt and running shorts then I could in a pair of heels and a sparkly dress.

The honeymoon stage always comes to an end and as we get older, whether it'd be work, passions or other friends, something always gets in the way. These responsibilities chip away at the time we could be having with our significant others. So instead of putting so much pressure on the things you could do with someone, find joy in the "nothing". Enjoy the little moments that you share with each other and be thankful for all the time that you do have with them. Life isn't about the grand gestures and amazing trips, but all the little things in between.

Find someone who you're excited to see at the end of a long day. Someone who's easy to talk to and even easier to relax with. A person who continues to fall in love with you as the years go on. I'm not saying you should find someone who only wants to do nothing with you, but that it's an option. There are times for adventures and there are times for absolutely nothing. There are times for fancy dinner dates and times for McDonald's drive-thru runs. So maybe what I'm really trying to say is, find someone who you can do anything with, even if that anything is nothing at all.

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I'm Still Friends With My High School Besties As A Senior In College, And I'm So Thankful For That

New friends are silver but the old ones are gold.

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As you near the end of high school, it seems like everyone is telling you, "enjoy spending time with your friends now, because once you start college you'll drift apart." At the time, no one wants to believe it, but I will say there definitely is some truth in that. There were 800 people in my high school graduating class, but there's only a handful of those people who I've actually hung out with since our graduation parties. However, it's certainly not true about all friends. I'm now a senior in college, and I'm still friends with my high school best friends.

While things have definitely been different since we've been in college, our friendship hasn't changed. In high school we bonded over the French classes that we took together and our love for dance. Although we don't see each other every day in class anymore or after school at dance practice, that's only made me more appreciative of the time that we do get to spend all together. I always look forward to that time, whether it's spent going on adventures, laughing together at a coffee shop or even just sitting at home and watching a movie.

I've made a lot of amazing friends in college, but there's still something comforting about having friends who knew you as an awkward 14-year-old who you can turn to and reminisce about the past with. We may not talk to each other every day and we often go months without all three of us being together, but when we are together again we pick up right where we left off. No matter how far apart we are physically, I know they'll be there for me in an instant, whenever I need them (even if FaceTime is the best we can do).

I know I'm not the only person to stay friends with their high school best friends, but I also know that many people don't. So I'm so thankful that this friendship has continued on past our four years of high school. As we get ready to head into the next chapter of our lives in a few months, a lot is going to change all over again. I don't know if we'll ever live out our high school dream of living together in the city or even when the next time we'll all be living in the same state will be, but our friendship has made it this far and I know it won't end here.

Caitlin and Andrea, thanks for sticking by my side for the past four years. Here's to all the memories we have yet to make together.

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The Internet’s Infatuation With 'Soft Boys' Needs To Stop

Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

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You know he exists. Your girlfriends have told you whisperings. He's lurking nearby. It's…the softboy. The one who civilly slides into your DMs because he would love to hear your thoughts on philosophy, literature, or his vinyl collection.

Okay, sorry, backing up. In order to understand what a softboy is, you must know some history. Internet 101 is in session. No need to silence your cell.

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In the past few years, society has finally come up with a word for a male sl*t: a f*ckboy! In case you don't know this slang, a f*ckboy is a male who is strictly into sexual relationships facilitated by manipulation. You know, the kind of shallow guy who sends unprompted pictures of his genitals. He is typically seen with "his boys" because bros come before h*es. A f*ckboy will tell you that "you're not like the other girls"; this is supposed to be a compliment because he doesn't have any respect for other girls. Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

Well, ladies and gents, we have a new monster on our hands. Or, rather, the same monster in a sheepskin disguise: the softboy!

The softboy Internet craze is a new trend, created as a seeming pendulum swing from the overt dirt-baggery of the infamous f*ckboy. Finally, American culture has a backlash against obvious jerks! …Only to be replaced by the same guy, but this time, in Doc Martins.

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They are imitations of the adorkable, lanky white boys of the month on Twitter such as Noah Centineo, Cole Sprouse, Timothee Chalamet, and Troye Sivan – the guys who are not afraid to express their feminine side in their emotional art. Young people adore them for their androgynous beauty and progressive sweetness. In turn, normal guys impersonate these famous people in hopes of receiving that same adoration from women.

However, what these imitators, these softboys, lack is the authenticity of the guys they're trying hard to look like. It's a façade to get in others' pants. He regurgitates whatever you want to hear and will use that to sleep with you before he moves on to "deal with his journey as a flaneur". Whether you're dealing with a f*ckboy or a softboy, they're both manipulating others based on what they think they like. And manipulation is wrong.

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Let me argue further, whereas an out-and-proud f*ckboy will wear a tank-top and listen to SoundCloud rappers, the softboy prefers a thrifted sweater while listening to indie music and calling all other tunes "trash". You know, because he is sensitive.

Whereas a f*ckboy half-jokes about being a meninist, the softboy respects women too much to pay for anything, ever. He calls himself a feminist, utilizing the label to his advantage. The softboy knows he's not going to make any girl swoon by being a total misogynist, so he plays the antithesis. But as soon as the situation gets ugly, he will show his real philosophy, with his patronizing voice calling you a derogatory name when something doesn't go his way.

Everything a softboy does is a ploy, (so convincing, that he may even believe these things about himself). He completes this performance to demonstrate to you that he's the good note in the noise. And that's why you have to be wary of him.

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