I'm not going to lie, I've been through a lot in my 23 years. Sometimes, it feels like my life is never without some sort of drama, unfortunately, and I sincerely think that a lot of that has made me lose myself along the way. It has made me doubt who I truly am as an individual.

Now, I'm going to get real with y'all for a second here... For a while, I was in a very unhealthy relationship. While I will not say that I was perfect during it, I undeniably felt a lot of manipulation and judgment throughout the course of it, which ultimately lasted a little over two years. I was 19 at the start of it, so I was still trying to figure myself out and have an unforgettable college experience. The relationship derailed me a little bit and made me question some of the aspects about myself that I love, or that I used to love, at least, and am learning to love again -- my happy, bubbly personality, my connection and loyalty to my friends, my unique and fun sense of style...

I spent two years being told that these things, plus more, made me a bad girlfriend and even a bad person. That I shouldn't want to dress in leggings or shorts, or even talk to other guys because it was considered a betrayal. I was even told that going to the bars with my friends when I turned 21 was wrong, and that I should have wanted to be with him instead. I was gaslighted when I tried to stand up for myself. And, eventually, I stopped trying.

Our break-up was by circumstance more than a decision that either of us made, and I think that scares me even more. Would I have ended things if it wasn't tragedy that tore us apart? Who would I be if I didn't get out of that relationship and choose to stay out of it? I can tell you one thing, I wouldn't be writing this article. I wouldn't be doing what I love as editor-in-chief of the Odyssey at West Chester. I wouldn't be nearly the same person as I am today.

I've always preached that you make yourself happy first, but I'm also the absolute worst at following this. I always want to make others happy. I don't want to inconvenience them or hurt them or make them feel bad, but sometimes, as I'm still learning, this needs to happen. You can't please everyone or make everyone happy. You need to pick yourself sometimes over others, otherwise, you end up in bad, unhealthy situations that you can't get yourself out of. You end up losing yourself to someone else, which I can attest is one of the worst feelings in the world.

No matter how much you don't want to, you need to put yourself first. You need to love and take care of yourself before you can do anything for anyone else. I'm still trying to figure out who it was that was lost when I entered that relationship, and how to find that girl again...or even if I still want to be her. So, take a page from my book, take a step back, and figure out who are and who you want to be. And when you find that within yourself, be absolutely, unapologetically you.