50 Of The Best Corny Jokes Ever

50 Of The Best Corny Jokes Ever

As told by me: 100 percent not a professional comedian or an expert joke teller whatsoever, just a girl who loves a good corny joke.
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I honestly, truthfully, wholeheartedly, 100 percent am a lover of making people laugh or smile whenever I possibly can, and what better way to do so than with corny jokes that may make you moan, groan and roll your eyes but also make you giggle just a little?

I'm the kind of person who will actually try to crack a joke any chance I can (and most of the time succeed, or just laugh at the awkward situation I just caused by telling a joke at the wrong time...). And because of this, I've collected many, many of the corniest of corny jokes over the years. So obviously I decided I needed to share them with the world in hopes of getting someone out there to crack a smile (and then also share this happy nonsense with others!).

(P.S. these are not ranked from the corniest to the not so corniest, just a sporadic non-organized list of hilarious, silly and fantastic jokes.)

(P.P.S. the very first joke, however, is my all time favorite joke in the history of jokes, so please appreciate it!)

1. What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta!

I heard this for the very first time when I was on a bus in Disney World over seven years ago, and it changed my life forever because it sparked my undying love for corny jokes. So thank you mystery boy on the bus. I couldn't have done this without you.

2. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

3. What kind of cheese isn't yours? Nacho cheese!

Everyone knows that one, but obviously I couldn't leave it out of this list!

4. What do you call a mile of cats? A meowtain!

5. Why did the yogurt go to the museum? Because it was cultured!

6. What's a pepper that won't leave you alone? Jalapeno business!

7. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!

8. What kind of room can't you enter? A mushroom!

9. What do you get when you decorate for Christmas? Tinselitus!

10. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

11. Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level!

12. How do you put an alien baby to sleep? You rocket!

13. Where did Noah keep his bees? In his ark hives!

14. What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending!

15. Why did the mermaid wear seashells? Because the B-shells were too small and the D-shells were too big!

16. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!

17. How do you organize a space party? You planet!

18. Where did the cow take his date? The MOOvies!

19. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they'd be called bagels!

20. What do you call a group of unorganized cats? A cat-astrophe!

21. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For dizzle!

22. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

23. Why did the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe!

24. What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me, something smells!

25. Have you heard the joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

26. What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs!

27. What kind of shoes does a thief wear? Sneakers!

28. What do you call a pretty ghost? BOOtiful!

29. What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line!

30. Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish!

31. What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!

32. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!

33. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

34. Why don't you ever see a hippopotamus hiding in a tree? Because they're really good at it!

35. Did you hear about the man who was on trial for feeding his cows dynamite? The jury said it was a-bomb-in-a-bull!

36. What did the cake say to the fork? Want a piece of me?!

37. Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C!

38. What do you call a magic owl? Hoodini!

39. What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge!

40. What's green, brown and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a combat jacket!

41. What do you call a bomb that doesn't explode but lands on a cow? A milk dud!

42. Why are elephants wrinkly? Have you ever tried to iron one!?

43. What job did the frog have at the hotel? Bellhop!

44. Where does the electric cord go to shop? The outlet mall!

45. Why don't they play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

46. What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? The tromBONE!

47. What do you call a man that irons clothes? Iron Man!

48. When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

49. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!

And probably the corniest of them all:

50. What do you call the Children of the Corn's father? POP-corn!

^For every single one of these corny as could be jokes!

I hope all these nonsensical, punny jokes make you smile! Now, get out there and spread the corn and the joy!

Cover Image Credit: Only In Your State

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When You Give A Girl A Dad

You give her everything
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They say that any male can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. That dads are just the people that created the child, so to speak, but rather, dads raise their children to be the best they can be. Further, when you give a little girl a dad, you give her much more than a father; you give her the world in one man.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a rock.

Life is tough, and life is constantly changing directions and route. In a world that's never not moving, a girl needs something stable. She needs something that won't let her be alone; someone that's going to be there when life is going great, and someone who is going to be there for her when life is everything but ideal. Dads don't give up on this daughters, they never will.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a role model.

If we never had someone to look up to, we would never have someone to strive to be. When you give a little girl someone to look up to, you give her someone to be. We copy their mannerisms, we copy their habits, and we copy their work ethic. Little girls need someone to show them the world, so that they can create their own.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her the first boy she will ever love.

And I'm not really sure someone will ever be better than him either. He's the first guy to take your heart, and every person you love after him is just a comparison to his endless, unmatchable love. He shows you your worth, and he shows you what your should be treated like: a princess.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her someone to make proud.

After every softball game, soccer tournament, cheerleading competition, etc., you can find every little girl looking up to their dads for their approval. Later in life, they look to their dad with their grades, internships, and little accomplishments. Dads are the reason we try so hard to be the best we can be. Dads raised us to be the very best at whatever we chose to do, and they were there to support you through everything. They are the hardest critics, but they are always your biggest fans.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a credit card.

It's completely true. Dads are the reason we have the things we have, thank the Lord. He's the best to shop with too, since he usually remains outside the store the entire time till he is summoned in to forge the bill. All seriousness, they always give their little girls more than they give themselves, and that's something we love so much about you.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a shoulder to cry on.

When you fell down and cut yourself, your mom looked at you and told you to suck it up. But your dad, on the other hand, got down on the ground with you, and he let you cry. Then later on, when you made a mistake, or broke up with a boy, or just got sad, he was there to dry your tears and tell you everything was going to be okay, especially when you thought the world was crashing down. He will always be there to tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they don't know if everything is going to be okay. That's his job.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a lifelong best friend.

My dad was my first best friend, and he will be my last. He's stood by me when times got tough, he carried me when I just couldn't do it anymore, and he yelled at me when I deserved it; but the one thing he has never done was give up on me. He will always be the first person I tell good news to, and the last person I ever want to disappoint. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend and more.


Dads are something out of a fairytale. They are your prince charming, your knight in shinny amour, and your fairy godfather. Dads are the reasons we are the people we are today; something that a million "thank you"' will never be enough for.

Cover Image Credit: tristen duhon

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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