What I've Learning About My Long Distance Relationship Since Coming to College

What I've Learning About My Long-Distance Relationship Since Coming To College

Long distance relationships can be tough, but hopefully these tips will help you out.

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As a college student, life can be really stressful. With exams, essays, and homework, things can seem like a lot to juggle. Not to mention that you still have to eat and sleep on top of that.

With a lot on a student's plate, it can seem like there's no room for a social life. Friendships can become tricky to manage. Especially a romantic one.

About a month before I came to college, I had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. I ended up choosing to go to a university about an hour and 20 minutes away from home, and he stayed home, going to community college. We decided to not break up, unlike lots of couples do when they go off to college.

During the first couple of months away, adjusting was a bit tough. We had to adjust to being away from each other for weeks at a time, and being at work or school all day. Sometimes our schedules wouldn't match up, or there would be days that we would text without ever talking on the phone.

These struggles were hard to work out, but we eventually found ways to make things work. So, to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, here's what has worked for us.

1. We make sure that we know each other's schedules.

By knowing what time the other was in class, or at work, we are able to figure out times to talk on the phone or video chat. It also helps us know that one of us isn't trying to purposefully the other.

2. We try to talk on the phone at least once a day.

For our relationship, it helped ease the pain of missing each other a little bit more manageable. We were able to see or hear each other's voice; that helped me out a lot.

3. We have good communication.

My boyfriend and I try to share everything with each other, as much as possible. Even though that might not work for some couples, having open communication is a key thing for us.

4. We try to make an equal effort to see each other.

This one is a tricky one to balance since we both have different means of getting around. He will take the train and come to see me, or I'll drive back home to see him. We try to make this one work, but I'll admit, we still need some fixing on this part.

5. When we do see each other, we make the most out of it.

Seeing each other after a few weeks of being away is like a breath of fresh air for us. We try to spend every moment together that we have, even if that means we can only see each other for an hour or two.

At times, it has not been easy to juggle school, work, and a relationship. There have been times where I've wanted to quit because it seemed like I couldn't handle all three things at once. But I know that this relationship is worth sticking through it, and I know that the end result will be rewarding.

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I like you because, i love you despite, a letter to my future husband

I might not have met you yet, but I already know I love you.

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Like other hopeless romantics, I have been continually disappointed with the Rom-Coms selection from Netflix. That was until I watched, Set It Up. The part of the movie that stuck with me the most was a scene at an engagement party. The bride-to-be gives a speech to her guest about a lesson her grandmother taught her. Long story short, she says to her fiance, I like you because, and I love you despite.

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I noticed my mom and I were both teared up after listening. It made me think about how I want my marriage to be someday. Just days after watching this movie, I came across a letter I wrote to my future husband when I was 13 years old. I decided to take this concept from Set It Up and intertwine it with the letter I found from middle-school me.

So...

Dear Future Husband,

I don't know you yet, but I know I love you like I've never loved anyone before. Sometimes I stay up at night and wonder how we'll meet, how our first date will go, and what color your hair will be. You'll have to be tall because this girl has legs meant for heels. I bet you love dogs and you buy me lots of ice cream. I wonder if you'll know my favorite. If you are here today as my future husband, chances are you know cookie dough is my favorite, and I'll bet you're a pretty fantastic human being.

You probably know I have a few faults...or many, many faults. Sometimes I get frustrated and it makes me cranky. I hate admitting I'm wrong and I laugh way too hard at jokes that aren't really that funny, sometimes at inappropriate times. You probably never know why I'm crying; I tend to cry for many different reasons. I talk really fast when I get excited, but sometimes I don't talk at all when I'm mad. I'm terrible at math, science isn't my thing either. I'm impossible to communicate with when I'm focused on a project, and I need complete silence when I write papers. Although it's important you know my faults, it's even more important that you've decided to love me regardless.

I don't know you yet, but I'm assuming you'll have some faults too.

I probably can't stand the way you say the word, "crayon" and you probably complain when I walk away instead of fixing a problem. I'm assuming sometimes you forget to tell me how good I'm looking on date nights, and you probably forget to close the door after you've opened it. Occasionally you forget to open the door for me and kiss me on the cheek-- something I hope you consider doing if you haven't already because my grandparents would expect nothing less. I bet you watch too many sports and sneeze way too loud. I guarantee I hate when you talk while yawning, and sometimes you cheat during card games. I bet you drive way too fast and don't stop at the stop sign for the entire 3-seconds. I'll bet you snore when you sleep and forget to put gas in the car.

But even with all these faults, there is a reason I like you.

I like the way you say my name each morning and follow up with a kiss on my forehead. The way you look in a suit and tie probably makes my knees week, and I bet you make me feel safe when I'm wrapped up in your arms. I like you because you hold my hand in public, but don't show too much affection because PDA is DISGUSTING. I like the way you connect with my brother and can hold a conversation on the back porch with my dad. If we are standing here together, you've probably stolen my mom's heart and I'll bet she can sense the love you have for me with every breath you take. I like that you understand we will be raising Australian Shepards together, cause what other dogs could we possibly have??

You probably honor every wish my grandma ever had for me and reflect the kind of love I see in my aunt Liz and uncle Duane's marriage. You might not like Obama as much as me, but you tolerate my presidential-crush. When you kiss me, I like how sparks fly, just like my grandma once described to me. I like the way you love me passionately and are the most unique individual I've ever met. I like that you go to ballets, even if you fall asleep, and I like how you dance with me in the kitchen. I like the goals you set for yourself and how considerate you are of those around you. I like that every problem we face, we face together, my hand holding onto yours. I like you because you chose to love me, even if I can be hard to love.

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I know I will search high and low for you because the love we will have for one another is unlike any love I have ever know. I promise to love you for the things I like about you and to love you despite the faults you have. You are my prince charming, my soulmate, and my best friend. You're everything I've ever wished for.

I might not have met you yet, but I already know I love you.

I can't wait to meet you,

Your future wife,

Aneka Something

Cover Image Credit:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Royal_Wedding_Stockholm_2010-Slottsbacken-05_edit.jpg

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