It’s no secret that most high school relationships end the summer before freshman year of college. The majority of the time, this is because couples that are going to different schools are intimidated by long distance. I’ll be the first one to say long distance is no walk in the park - always scrambling to find a date to Tuesday night sorority date events, when you’re sad and just need someone to cuddle, if you’re hungry and nobody will go grab food with you. Yeah during times like this, being so far away really sucks, but at the end of the day, it all makes you value that special person even more. If I could give one piece of advice to any relationship that is ending for the sole reason of long distance, give it a try, because you never know what could have happened if you didn’t.
If you’re one of the of the brave souls willing to see how it goes, I’m here for you. I’ve reflected on why I think my boyfriend and I have had such an easy long distance experience and want to share
Do not let jealousy kill your relationship.
He’s going to make girl friends that he likes to chill and study with. She’s going to meet another guy that makes her laugh. And that’s perfectly okay. You are allowed to have other people in your life that make you happy and so is the other person; these are called friendships. This does not mean that other person loves you any less. The moment you learn this and actually believe it is the moment that you and your significant other can truly start enjoying college.
You need to let each other have fun.
The main reason my boyfriend and I get along so well is because we don’t inhibit each other from doing what the other one wants. There, of course, has to be a sense of respect for the other person, meaning when you do go out, you make sure you tell them and keep them updated on what you’re doing. At the same time, don’t have the kind of relationship where your significant other is not ‘allowed’ to go to parties or go out with their friends. The second they feel like you are stopping them from exploring college and figuring out who they are as a person, the relationship is no longer genuine and it is no longer good for either of you.
Introduce the other person to your friends.
I am known for answering a facetime no matter where I am. Yes, my friends always say how annoying it is, but I feel like my boyfriend knows my friends so much better because of it. He’s with us when we walk to class, when we’re eating in the dining hall, when we are literally at our semi-formal, when we’re studying in the library, ALL THE TIME. For that reason, he has so much of a better time when he comes to visit because he’s actually friends with my friends. In the beginning, these frequent FaceTimes were crucial for allowing each other to understand the other’s world and get comfortable with being so far away.
Be sure to make time to talk to one another privately.
Yes, I did just emphasize the importance of talking to them with your friends around. However, giving them a little one on one time is equally just as important. My boyfriend and I tried the whole texting all day everyday thing for the majority of our first semester in college and it led to major problems. This unrealistic expectation that we would be able to quickly text the other one back at all hours of the day left us getting mad at each other each time a text was left hanging for more than an hour. Thankfully, this semester we realized that this was not working.
We both sacrificed constant texting for just one phone call at the end of the day. Sometimes this call is only five minutes and sometimes it’s two hours, but we always try to devote some time to each other before we go to bed to just talk about our day and what’s going on in our lives; setting aside time is sometimes hard to fit into our busy schedules, but it’s so important to make sure we’re keeping up with each other and letting them know that they are important to us.Blake - thank you for always being patient, kind, and understanding. There aren’t a lot of guys like you and I can’t wait to see you next.