Take Your Broken Heart and Move On

Take Your Broken Heart and Move On

No one wants to date a miserable person.

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"She's kind, but she's broken."

"Her heart is good because it's been shattered before."

"She smiles, but deep down she's breaking."

Oh my gosh, shut up.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but seriously, shut up.

Up and down my Facebook feed I see dozens of posts like this with captions like, "so true," with a broken heart emoji. I get it, these girls have been through some shit to be posting stuff like this, but what do they think these kind of posts are going to do? Do they think some guy is going to see them and decide to be the one to fix her? It's a bit silly.

I fully believe that in order for someone to love you, you have to fully love yourself. It's hard to love yourself with low self-confidence and the idea that heart break is inevitable. With that kind of attitude, you'll never be in a healthy, loving relationship. I get that these posts are meant to convey the idea that the poster is a kind soul that has been through the wringer. However, it doesn't come off that way.

When I see posts like this, I see someone with a broken heart desperately calling out to be saved by someone. There lies the problem; you should be the one to mend your broken heart. To rely on another person is just down right dumb. Self-love and self-care come before any new relationship.

I know if a guy told me that he felt broken by past relationships, I'd see that as a red flag and run. Sure, our past can hurt us, but those experiences should be like scars, not open wounds. We should use those experiences to learn and better ourselves and our choices. To go about life complaining about your broken heart hoping some knight in shining armor will come and make it all better is ridiculous.

Please stop pretending it's normal to let failed relationships completely create identities. Take your broken heart and fix it, I don't care how long it takes. Do it for your heart, its clearly been through enough.

Cover Image Credit:

https://www.pexels.com/photo/art-broken-explosion-glass-5287/

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10 Reasons 'Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored,' Had Me Saying, 'No Thank U, Next'

Break up with that self-pleasing attitude if you're that bored, then.

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You can call me crazy, but it ain't right for Ariana Grande to be singing about breaking someone's relationship up because she's "bored." I have listened to the song multiple times, and watched the music video countless times as well.

To those people saying, "It's about Malcolm, how she wanted to break up with Pete because of him," where are you seeing that in the video? In the lyrics? She's literally dancing and making googly eyes at a man who is RIGHT next to his girlfriend! I'm sorry, but in no way was this song necessary or even warranted.

Especially with today's already prominent hookup culture, the last thing we need is Ariana teaching girls how to be home wreckers, too. If you are really that bored, go for a jog, get a dog, get on Tinder, and meet someone who is ACTUALLY available. Putting your emotions and energy into someone who is already taken is not only toxic to them, but it can lead to some very damaging emotional abuse on yourself, too.

But, if that's not enough to convince you, here are 10 other reasons why "Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored," had me saying, "NO Thank U, NEXT."

1. This is literally right after her breakup with Pete

And I get it, sometimes relationships don't work out and sometimes it's very easy to move on. But honestly? This is all a little much. How would she feel if someone was singing this about Pete or Malcolm while they were together?

2. She's teaching women to disrespect themselves

All this song seems to care about is getting under someone who has a girlfriend. "Break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored. You can hit it in the morning, like it's yours." Soooo, it's not his, but you're letting him take up a semi permanent residency inside you anyway?? Girl, EW!

3. She's teaching women it's okay to undermine other women

Nothing says female empowerment and "women are the future" like stealing another girl's man right out from under her. Yay, women.

4. She's teaching men they can easily be "stolen" from their girlfriends

She's bored, she's hot, and clearly she's ready for you to hit it...and, what's your girlfriend doing? Bitching at you for being on your phone while you're with her? God, this seems like a no brainer.

5. While also teaching them that it's OK to cheat if they're not with the "right" person

You can fall out of love or decide that you're not into the person you're in a relationship with, but that does NOT mean you can go be bored with someone else without being SINGLE first. Be an adult, face the hard stuff, and let them down easy. I'd rather be broken up with than cheated on, any day, hands down.

6. She's teaching impressionable children the wrong way to handle love emotions

The appropriate way to deal with liking someone that is already taken is not by going up to them and demanding they break up with them because you're bored and you'd be a better fit.

7. She's teaching everyone that if you've been through the mill, you can do whatever you want without consequences 

I feel like everyone is using her past failed relationships and heartbreaks, (the concert shooting, Malcolm's suicide, etc) as a free ride for her to act however she wants. Sorry, but as much sympathy as I have for you, you are NOT laying a fingernail on my boyfriend. Thank u, next.

8. She's teaching a generation of women to lose their self-respect

My parents have raised me to always treat my body as a temple, to not hurt it, or degrade it in any way. I value my body and the beauty of it. I'm not about to let some idiot with a girl at home completely wreck my safe space and comfort zone because that's what everyone else is doing.

9. She's teaching why sex sells and abstinence doesn't

Honestly, what's sexier? A girl who's literally ready for you to have sex with her at the drop of a hat, regardless of if you're single or not, or someone who wants to be in a relationship already or even save sex for marriage?

10. She's trying too hard to be something she's not

And that, by far, is the worst thing you could do. Regardless of how horrible her offense was with this song, that truly cannot be how she really feels, and for her to be singing about it, is a shame all in its own. Dear Ari, break up with that self-pleasing attitude, I'm bored, and you're tacky.

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Both Guys And Girls Have It Hard Finding Love, Stop Complaining

Nothing is easy, so stop throwing your own pity party.

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Love is in the air, and so is complaining. Gosh, sometimes being around young adults is exhausting. Basically, all you do is complain about money, or how you are still single/bashing your s/o. When I'm around either my fellow single ladies (or men) the same sort of concept always comes up. "[Insert gender here] have it so easy". Um...sorry bro, that's not the case.

From a girl's point of view, yeah, we may have it easy because we can doll ourselves up with makeup, and flaunt our physical features. But that doesn't mean we have men running toward us left and right. Some guys are jerks and don't know how to treat women. Some guys just want girls for sex, or for their body in general. Do we want that? Yes and no, but when it comes to settling down, that's the tricky part.

From a guy's point of view (now I am clearly not a guy, but this is just an estimate of what I have gathered from then) they have no makeup which already puts girls at an advantage. Girls just wanting to "hit and run", or wanting to sleep around a bit/be free and not committed while you want something more, psycho ex-girlfriends, and her friends. The list could go on, and it gets more complicated as it goes.

As you can probably see by now, guys and girls don't have it easy. The struggles are different, but all are pretty valid in my opinion. Though this article is like a rant, I hope that you know to think twice about saying "who has it better" because in reality, (love related or not) no one has it easy, and the life that others display has a lot more behind it than meets the eye.

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