I Can't See The Future, But I Know I Don't Want To Fall For Anyone Else

I Can't See The Future, But I Know I Don't Want To Fall For Anyone Else

I don't totally believe in "the one," but he just might have me convinced otherwise.

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There's a song at the end of "A Star is Born," titled "I'll Never Love Again." Lady Gaga sings this intense, emotional song about how she'll never fall for another person after having met--and lost--"the one."

As I sat in the theater next to my boyfriend, I felt a wave of emotion rush over me. The lyrics of the song perfectly encapsulated thoughts, fears, and emotions that I've felt and thought time and again.

Relationships can be tricky. You may think someone will be in your life forever, but we all know that life can be cruel and takes people away from you. And if you're like me, if you've lost relationships with people whom you'd thought be there forever, it can be really, really hard to allow yourself to become invested in any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic.

One of my biggest fears and constant worries is that one day, my boyfriend will no longer be in my life, for whatever reason. That a day will come when I'd have to move past him, to attempt to find someone else. And I honestly don't think I could fall the same way for anyone else.

I love my boyfriend. As cheesy as this sounds, he's the best thing that has ever happened to me and one of the best people, if not the best person to date, to enter my life. And I'm not just talking out my ass: my life has drastically gotten better since we began dating 3 years ago.

I knew almost immediately that he was different from any other guy I'd met. For one, he officially asked me--IN PERSON--if I would be his girlfriend. (It was the sweetest freaking thing and I still melt a little inside when I recall that moment.) He treated me with respect and wasn't afraid to show he cared for me. He took me actual dates and proudly introduced me to his world.

He actually brought me home to meet his mom. This was a total first for me, as I'd never had the official "meet the parents as my girlfriend" experience before. It was so nerve-wracking it was to meet his mom, but those nerves instantly went away because she was (and is!!) so freaking nice. She instantly welcomed me in and has always treated me as one of the family. She gave me a second home.

After those first two or three months, I already knew I loved him. It wouldn't be another few months before I said it aloud, but I knew.

In the past 3 years, our relationship has grown stronger. He quickly became not just my boyfriend, but also my best friend: my go-to person, always there when I needed advice, to talk, and to vent. He's always been one of my biggest supporters (after my parents and grandmother, of course). He's been one of the only people who I could talk to about my past and truly understand and relate.

I live with depression and anxiety. He's been there for me not just in the good times, but also through the worst. He's held me through panic attacks, depressive lows, and bouts of anxiety. He's talked me through countless moments where my anxiety took over. He listened when I spoke about feeling suicidal, and reminded me that I had things and people to live for, that I was worth living for. But most importantly, he pushed me to take care of myself. To return to therapy and begin taking antidepressants, so I could start living with control over my mind and my life.

I'm Jewish. Watching the rise of hate, especially over these last two years, has made me scared for my safety because of my identity and beliefs. There was an attack on two Jewish students right off my college campus, and just last week, 11 innocent Jews were killed for no other reason than they were Jewish. My boyfriend not only sees how these attacks, the hatred, and cruelty of this world affects me, he fights for me. He isn't afraid to use his privilege as a white male to stand up for others, and it makes me so happy to have someone like him by my side through this crap.

My boyfriend is an active actor in our local theater scene. I've seen him perform in numerous musicals and plays over the last three years, and every time I feel a massive rush of pride and love to see him excel at something he clearly loves doing. That he's so incredibly good at. Every penny spent on tickets to production is worth it to see how wholly he throws himself into it, and the pride I feel seeing him up there.

One of my biggest fears is that I'll somehow lose him. That a day will come where he won't be mine anymore, where I'll be on my own again. That I'll have lost the one person I've ever truly opened up to, the only person who's ever made me feel like I can be 100% myself around. The only person I've ever felt completely comfortable with.

Lady Gaga sings, "Don't want to give my heart away/To another stranger." I honestly can't imagine myself opening up to anyone else as I have with my boyfriend. Letting anyone else have my heart the same way.

I never really believed in true love or "the one." Honestly, I'm still not 100% I do--or at least, not in the way most people tend to think of both concepts. But my boyfriend challenges those beliefs. He's made me realize that I don't care if there's anyone else out there that I could maybe be good with.

Because he and I, we're damn good together. We balance each other out. Deadpool said it best: "your crazy matches my crazy." We're good together and we've helped each other grow as individuals in just a few years.

I can't see the future. But one thing I do know: my boyfriend will be in it.

I don't want another person. This guy, he's the one for me.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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My Long-Time Boyfriend Is My Best Friend

WARNING: This post is a sappy one.

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I have noticed a lot of articles floating around social media lately. Articles like "Open Letter to my Boyfriend" or "My Boyfriend is the Best Boyfriend." It makes think to myself how lucky I am to have a boyfriend is who is my best friend. Sure, you think your boyfriend is the best, but I firmly believe that mine is too.

My boyfriend's name is Logan. I met him when we were both in high school. I was in eighth grade and he was in the tenth grade. We went to the same school and never crossed paths until then. Logan played football, which was really cool. I mean who wouldn't want to date a high school athlete and wear their letterman jacket? But that's not why we dated.

Before we even started dating, we were just friends. We talked all the time about the most random things. Somethings never change. It felt like I knew Logan forever and day. It was just really easy to talk to him. As time flew by, we started to grow feelings for each other. I guess that's not much of a shocker since you're reading this.

Logan and I started to date a couple of months after we met each other. It was such an easy time in life looking back on all the memories. We would go to each other's houses and hang out. Our moms would have to drop us off and come pick us back up. School was easy for us. There was not really a care in the world, especially when you were always waking up to sappy texts and talking nonstop to a guy you were falling in love with. Logan was my first love and hopefully my last. Back then he was my best friend and he still is today.

We talk about everything and anything. We still talk all the time. A lot of our friends say that when you see Logan, you see me and vise versa. We are always hanging out. It is crazy after all the time that has flown by, I have not got tired of Logan yet. We joke around and say we are like an old married couple. But really our relationship has just started. We still have our whole lives ahead of us. We have many different walks in life to do. And I hope to do all those with Logan by my side.

Logan is truly my best friend. I tell him everything. When people tell me secrets, they already know that I will more than likely tell him. We talk about everything and we do everything together. Just like normal best friends, we have fights sometimes. They are always over stupid things and we get over it. That is what best friends do. Just like a normal relationship, we have had our ups and downs. When they are high, they are really high. When they are low, they are really low. But like I said before, I would not want to do it all without Logan by my side.

Logan is one of my biggest supporters...besides my family. Like a best friend would do, he always pushes me to do better and to be better. He tells me when I am wrong and admits (sometimes) when I am right. We have the kind of relationship where we joke about a bunch of things. We are always picking on each other and joking around. I love our friendship and our relationship.

I am so glad Logan and I built our friendship before we even started to think about being together. That foundation has just kept growing over the years. I hope to keep building that foundation for many more years. I am so thankful for Logan and our friendship. I have the world's BEST boyfriend and the world's BEST friend.

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