Having anxiety is not a new thing for me. I’ve always been one to worry, overthink, and get anxious over little things for as long as I can remember. I used to think it was just me being the quiet kid and nobody else understood what I was feeling. As I've grown older, I have realized a lot of people are actually dealing with this too, which really made me feel a lot better about the crazy anxious feelings I get.

However, I’ve also realized some people really don’t understand what it’s like to deal with anxiety. Some are quick to jump to “why are you so quiet,” or other things that just make it worse. Here’s what I really want you to know about my anxiety:

I don’t want to talk about it.

Yes, I have anxiety issues, obviously. But I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t like making excuses for it. I don’t want someone to look at me and say, “oh, she has anxiety, or is just quiet.” I hate talking about it because I’ve been struggling with it since elementary school. Also, I actually work really hard to push myself out of my comfort zone to not let it take over, and I don’t want it to be the only thing about me.

I can’t calm down.

I literally hate being told to calm down. Like, oh, why didn’t I think of that? If I could calm down, I would, and I’m trying to.

I overthink and worry about everything.

Oh, it’s not happening for weeks or even months? I’ve already analyzed every detail about it and will continue to. My sister always says, “don’t worry, you still have time.” Well, I have to think about every detail and be ready months ahead of time.

I’m actually not looking at anything on my phone, I just don’t know what to say.

Looking at my phone is a go-to. I’m not even looking at anything, I just don’t know what to say, because I suck at making conversation.

Sometimes I just don't want to talk to you.

I really, really suck at starting conversations. Even if it is someone I really want to talk to, sometimes I just can’t get the words together to talk to them. However, sometimes I just don’t want to talk to you. It’s not me being quiet, it’s not wanting to talk to you.

I’ve worked really hard to not let my anxiety issues define me.

Going to college, joining a sorority, and putting myself out there way more than I ever did before is really hard. Even making new friends and being around new people is difficult. I push myself a lot to not let having anxiety be my thing.