Trust: a word that triggers so many different emotions. Trust is the hardest thing to earn, and the easiest thing to be taken away. In order to trust someone, you have to be completely open and let all of your walls down. You have to be completely vulnerable.
"In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, authenticity, and love." Brené Brown
Allowing yourself to break down the walls that took you so long to build up is quite possibly the greatest adventure you'll ever take. It'll be wild, crazy, fun, reckless, but sometimes it'll hurt worse than any physical pain ever could. Breaking down your walls and allowing someone in takes great strength and compassion. It takes vulnerability.
Those walls hold everything that makes you who you are and breaks you sometimes too. Those walls hold all of your deepest secrets, regrets, past mistakes, things that utterly wrecked your life for days on end, and even the things you absolutely love about yourself that you fear losing. Within those walls is the rarest form of who you are, the bad and the good. To break those down is to allow yourself to broken, and that's often the worst form of self-harm.
In my own life, I often portray vulnerability in a negative aspect when in reality it doesn't have to be. To be vulnerable is often to be loved. Vulnerability is the seed to starting over. It allows you to clean the slate, break down the walls, and start freshly over. It takes courage and trust, but in the grand scheme of things, it could possibly be the best decision you ever make.
If you present vulnerability to the right person, someone you love and trust, it's often the greatest gift that you could ever give them. It shows them who you are. It grows the connection. Whether it be a new bestie or a boyfriend, the relationship will completely transform when you vulnerably break down your walls and let them in.
If you want to be valued for who you are, be authentic. Always be completely yourself. Love who you are and show others that person. More than likely people will fall for who you truly are more so than the cover you put on.
To the person reading this that struggles with opening up to others, I completely understand. I've been there. I too have felt unlovable and worthless.
I've felt the pain of letting someone in and in return getting completely destroyed. Trust me, I understand how it feels to not be okay. I know how it feels to vaguely act like you are okay just so no one will try to get in. I know how it feels to feel like you'll never be loved because your world is far too crazy for anyone to want a part. I know how it feels to have all of the walls you've built up destroyed in a matter of moments. I also know how it feels to start completely over and rebuild.
Life isn't about settling when you're comfortable. Life is about forming new connections and developing relationships with the people you are surrounded with. Sometimes opening up and letting your guard down is the best way to ignite an adventure of a lifetime with a person you love.
C.S. Lewis said it best when he said: "to love at all is to be vulnerable."
You'll never truly love someone until you are open with them; until you completely tear down the walls you are letting confine you. It's okay to let people in. It's okay to love the wrong person with all of your heart. It's okay if they don't understand how you feel. It's not okay to hold in your emotions. It's not okay to be scared. I
t's not okay to settle because you are comfortable. Too much life is wasted being afraid to step out on a limb. Sometimes it's perfectly fine to be 100% vulnerable. Being vulnerable is okay. Allow yourself to let people in, but make sure they match your energy.
Open up. It's okay to be broken. Be authentic. Choose wisely who you allow in. Follow your instinct and heart. Laugh often. Love people. Let those you love in. Be vulnerable, it's the best thing in the world you can be. Vulnerability is bravery.
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