To My Future Boyfriend

To My Future Boyfriend

You have a lot of bags to help me with, I'm sorry.

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There's only one thing certain: we are getting married. I am done with dating boys who don't see my worth and/or see a future with me.

I am done with boys who make me a second priority and who put my happiness on the back burner.

In the past, I have been cheated on, lied to, and ultimately... emotionally scarred.

I'm sorry if I flinch when you raise your hand to swat at a gnat. I'm sorry if I cry when your voice is louder than usual.

I'm sorry if I ask you 100 times a day if you still even like me. I'm sorry if I text you "miss you" at random times.

I'm sorry if there are days where I don't seem like myself. I'm sorry if I don't take your joke the way you meant it. I'm sorry if I question certain things you do.

Let me make one thing clear: it is not you, it is definitely me. I will get better with time.

Apparently, every single boy that I have ever dated just doesn't understand the definition of trust.

I know it isn't your responsibility to carry my baggage or to fix my past issues that have turned into present issues.

You do not have to pick up my pieces. I am healing myself by myself. While healing, that does not mean I am going to put my life on hold. I can heal, learn, and love at the same time.

Please bear with me. You are obviously very special if I chose to begin a relationship with you. Boys are confusing as Hell, which is why I need a man.

Anyway, I cannot wait until our wedding and my favorite flowers are daisies, preferably pink.

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A Prayer For My Future Husband

I hope one day that you will be reading this prayer.

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Dear Future Husband of mine,

I can not wait to meet you, or if I have already met you, I can not wait to actually get to know you. Either way, I am happy I have found you. I found the one whom my soul loves.

I have prayed for you every night. I prayed for you to love God more than you love me. I have prayed for you to have nothing but love in your heart. I hope that you have patience (a lot of it if you are going to marry me).

I hope that you are kind towards every person that you meet. I hope that you are funny and that you can make me laugh even when I am mad at you. Future husband, I pray that you are beautiful. I do not mean on the outside but on the inside. I pray that you are nothing but good, that you are a light that shines and when people look at you, they can see God.

I pray that your family will love my family. I have a huge family with mostly babies. I hope that you will love my family and not ever see them as baggage. I pray that our families will be close. I hope that someday we could have family dinners together or maybe even vacations. I pray that your parents will love me. I hope they can see all the love I have towards you.

When I look at you, I hope that you see me only in the most positive light. I hope that I am beautiful in your eyes. I pray that you will never give up on our relationship and soon to be vows. I pray that you will love me and stay true to only me for the rest of our lives.

I hope to have tiny little you's running around one day. I pray that you will be the best father that I have seen (even though it's gonna be hard to beat). I hope our kids look at you the way that I do. I pray they look at you and see nothing but good. I pray they will grow up to be just as selfless and Godly as you are.

I have prayed for you as long as I can remember. You are everything that I have prayed for and more. I love you. If you are reading this, not on my blog, I have finally found you.

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To The Girl Telling Herself She Doesn't 'Catch Feelings,' Stop Lying To Yourself

"Catching feels" is not synonymous with a sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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We're all guilty of it. We think we have this incredible Great Wall of China protecting our vulnerability; however, we tend to overestimate its security with defense mechanisms that could potentially hurt us in the long-term, concerning the formation of future relationships.

We must let others in to embrace the process of falling for someone

If you're like me, constantly busy and preoccupied with life's demands (sometimes going days without proper inhalation and exhalation), we become almost numb and ignorant of our emotions, mostly as a result from not putting ourselves out there. But this lack of experience is wrongly mistaken for the notion of attachment resistance. It's OK to focus on yourself, but after a while, it is necessary and fun to reawaken those feelings and jubilant moods associated with falling for someone, because in the midst of life's madness, we often forget how to feel.

Do not attempt to avoid to "catch feels" like it's the plague

We're consistently bombarded with false advice from society to avoid "catching feels," or falling for someone, no matter the costs. Why is it suddenly so frowned upon to actually like someone you met? Why should we feel shame in wanting to continue a relationship with this person? Dating is evidently complicated in the 21st century, but don't let this make you try to consciously repress those newly-formed feelings since repression essentially leads to escalation. Embrace the feels because it's the human thing to do.

Loosen your wall's bricks with vulnerability

Some of our jerk-alert senses are more activated than others, mostly due to past experiences, but it's important to hammer into our heads that they're not all the same.

Stop lying to yourself. No matter how much you repress it, you will feel, you will get attached, and you will allow yourself to do this, despite what the norm is for what "dating" is today. Break off from your defense mechanisms and your wall will slowly follow. Remember: "catching feels" is not synonymous with sickness, but with embracing the human capacity to feel that we all too often neglect.

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