Nobody is perfect. Not you, not me or even our partners. We all have our set of bad traits and undesirable qualities, however, does that mean fixing would be necessary?
In the people whom we care deeply for, they would have a certain quality which we wish they would get rid of it. Of course, that does not mean that we would love or care for them any less. Well, even in the most seemingly perfect god-like human being, you could see the cracks when you look closely.
Human beings are not some customized design products. We could not be molded into a prototype and then be fine-tuned further as and when our partners deem fixing to be performed.
We all have expectations and that is normal. What is not normal is to force those expectations onto our loved ones and then hope that they would act out accordingly. That is certainly unhealthy as well.
Even when we have their best interests at heart, it is extremely essential to remember that love also consists of mutual respect. Voicing your opinions freely and honestly is all about being in a relationship for both parties.
No matter how much you disagree with their perspectives, always remember that your partners, too, have the freedom of speech. The same privilege you have when expressing your thoughts.
So why do you see a need to fix them? Just because their thoughts differ from yours? Or they are not behaving like how you expected them to be?
They are not a science project which you are currently working on. They do not require you to repair them like they are some flawed specimen.
Relationships are complex and they will always be no matter how much we try to simplify them. When both parties value their bond, they would have this desire to enforce rules or expect the other party to compromise and share the same views with them forgetting the reality that forcefulness would never be the right way out.
Setting baselines and boundaries are important in relationships to prevent grey areas and scenarios like infidelity. However, forcing your partner to behave a certain way would only push them further and away from you. And, I am sure that is not what we want.
How about we start to let go of certain unrealistic expectations of our loved ones and appreciate them for who they are?
Learn to love each other's imperfections and understand that forcing one's ideals on another person would never be the right way out. You would just lose the purpose of the relationship and ultimately, the person itself.
Sheetal Tadiparty
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