Recently I had an opportunity to get to know one of good friends more in depth and romantically. But unfortunately as soon as he was single I was not. I wasn't "in a relationship," but I was seeing a guy and we were "exclusive." A word that I have come to utterly hate. What does "exclusive" even mean? That you're not seeing other people just each other, but you're not in a relationship. That makes no sense to me. Isn't that just a relationship without a label. But even then, aren't you giving the relationship a label anyways. You're giving it the label of an "exclusively dating." So if you're telling me you don't like labels, I will not hesitate to call out your bulls--t.

Recently I had some closure with an ex of mine. He has a very deep talk about what really happened and why we actually broke up. We were both young and stupid and two different people that should probably have not been together in the first place.

He apologized for all he did to me and all the hurt he caused me. I did the same. Then he told me that he was never good enough for me and always felt like he was holding me back from a better life. "You deserve to be treated right like a queen, Emiliya. You deserve so much better that what I could ever give you." Sure this may have been a drunken phone conversation, but it was still helpful in seeing some real closure with a guy who admitted that night he was actually in love with me and who jump at the chance to ever get back with me.

Me after my ex's confession of his love for me

I was pissed that he confessed this to me because it was so tempting to just say "F--ck it" and go back to him. Even tough nothing could change the complete polar opposites that we are. A city mouse and a country cat never get along for very long.

You might beg to differ and think...

Actually look at Tom and Jerry. They weren't friends, but arch enemies.

Instead of jumping back into another relationship destined to fail, I decided to reflect instead about all the relationships I had been in. I discovered that I jump into relationships way to fast. So I made up a list of requirements that my next boyfriend should and should not have.

That's right Mary Kate or Ashley. So here are some of them.

He has to have great sense of humor, is very motivated, spontaneous, kind hearted, and has to love God more than he loves me. He has to be taller than me, attractive to me and he has to have great chemistry with me. He also should be okay with commitment, meeting my friends and family, and should have a family he is close with.

Some little things that I look for that are more of perks are that he is Italian or Black, over 6'3, loves to travel and cook. It would be nice if he was musical (singer/actor/guitarist/dancer) or either like music or theatre. It would also be nice if he is sarcastic like me, has good style, maybe wears suits, and has a single brother for my best friend to marry.

And with everything there are deal breakers. Here are some of mine. He has no sense of humor what so ever, He can't take a joke. He is afraid of commitment. He is a bad kisser or has constant body odor or bad breath.If he doesn't like How I Met Your Mother, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, New Girl, and Parks and Rec.

Anyways, I decided to evaluate both the "exclusive relationship" and the potential relationship. So being the list minded kind of person, I made a little list of both their pros and cons. I decided to make it a kind of game where I am seeing these guys for the first time ever, like one of those game shows. I have Bachelor #1 who is the current guy I'm seeing and I have Bachelor #2 who is the potential guy I could be seeing.

So let's start the game of "Should I Stay or Should I Go"

(Cue the 80's song)

Bachelor #1

Pros

1. He has a good sense of humor

2. He has A+ chemistry with you

3. He is a great musician

4. He is kind hearted

5. He loves to cook and is good at it

6. He is tall and attractive

7. He also loves to take you out on good dates to Sushi and Tai Food

8. He a college grad so he's not as focused on himself and just getting laid like most college boys

9. He is motivated

10. He has a good job

But just like everyone, he has some cons as well:

1. He is not religious

2. You haven't known each other long

3. He doesn't like commitment

4. He doesn't want to meet your family or friends

5. My friends thinks he's an asshole

6. You haven't met any of his friends or family

7. He might be moving...so that would be another long distance relationship that probably wouldn't work.

8. He's in a different place being a college grad, having a big boy job.

9. He doesn't seem to have that many friends

10. He doesn't like relationships...he gets bored and dumps them (deal breaker)

Bachelor #2 has some great pros as well.

1. You've known him for 3 years

2. He's tall and attractive

3. The chemistry could be great

4. He has a great sense of humor

5. He's a singer and guitarist

6. He's kind hearted

7. He has a tongue ring

8. He's half black

9. He's spontanious

10. He loves God more than he loves anything

But again he also has some cons.

1. He lives far away... so another long distance relationship there.

2. You could be his rebound. The break up isn't fresh...but still.

3. He doesn't seem to motivated

4. He deals with a lot of issues. Every one has their own baggage, but I don't think I can fix it or make it go away completely.

After looking at these two guys, here's what I found out that is that...

1. I have very high standards for myself...now. Back then I didn't if a boy even looked at me or flirted back I would jump on that train and try to go out with him.

2. That I use music to cope and see it as a sign when songs like "Break Up With Him" by Old Dominion come on. It's a little ridiculous.

3. I need to be a little selfish and start thinking about myself. I need to have standards for myself and begin to start loving myself. As soon as I can completely love myself, then I will be able to love others. But right now I just need to solely work on myself and learn how to completely love myself.

So if ever you're in my same shoes, of should I stay or should I go, maybe think back to reading this article and do the same. It will do you a world of help and could even make the decision that much easier for you. So love yourself and...