The 9 Stages Of A Midwestern 'Goodbye'

The 9 Stages Of 'Goodbye' You'll Only Understand If You're From The Midwest

If it doesn't take you a full hour, you're doing it wrong.

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Everyone from California to Maine says goodbye, but only us Center State people truly know that goodbye means nothing unless it's a true Midwestern adios. Whether its Thanksgiving at Grandma's house or just a chit chat with a long time friend, goodbye's are a special tradition here and they require several sections to properly portray your exit.

So, folks, without further ado, here are the nine stages of the true Midwestern Goodbye.

1. The "welp"

The beginning of every good ol' Midwestern goodbye starts with the stand and welp. This means you know you have to leave, but you're not getting out of there anytime soon. The welp only functions as a signal for others that you must begin the process of leaving.

2. The hugs

The next step in saying goodbye is the hugs. Everyone gets one, be it grandma, grandpa, your weird uncle, all the babies, even the dog gets a goodbye hug. This is by far the lengthy step, because a Midwestern hug is a whole different breed of long drawn out hug.

3. The walk to the door

Once everyone has gotten a goodbye squeeze, the walk begins. Every Midwesterner knows that no matter how many steps away the door is, it will take no less than 20 minutes to get there during the stages of a goodbye. You have to talk about how good the food was or when you plan to see each other next, no matter the subject, the walk to the door always takes a hot minute.

4. The doorway chat

Getting to the door is hard, but don't even get me started on the mid-doorway chat. This conversation has literally nothing to do with anything and most of the time involves a lot of belly laughs. This conversation can range anywhere from five minutes to 45 minutes. We really hope you went to the bathroom before you tried to leave because if not, you start the goodbye process from square one all over again.

5. The "we really should be going"

This simple statement signals that you must end the doorway conversation and begin the descent to the car.

6. The second round of hugs

Once the first hour has elapsed and the sun is setting, the second round of hugs begins. This time, there is less talking but significantly more back patting and side swaying. This time, the goal is solely to get out the door and you really have your eye on the prize... the doorknob.

7. The hand on the doorknob

Almost there, the knob is in hand, BUT WAIT, there's another conversation to go still, you can't leave until someone says "goodbye" in a weird voice and sparks more laughter or your dad and uncle starting doing that thing where they quote movies until they laugh so hard they cry. At this point, at least an hour has passed and you've moved 10 feet.

8. The slow open conversation

As you make your way down to the driveway, there is yet another conversation about whatever may arise. Who knows what time it is at this point, all you know is that it's been at least long enough to digest the huge Midwestern meal you just ate, and it's time for a snack.

9. The window wave

Once you've FINALLY made it out of the house and into your car, you can fully expect that Midwestern hospitality window wave as you pull away. The only correct response to your grandma's porch light flickering wave is a series of honks to let them know that you truly care about the traditional goodbye.

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20 Fun Facts To Use When Introducing Yourself

As we embark on the semester, we are put on the spot in order to share interesting details about ourselves. This article discloses possible fun facts to tell others!
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After experiencing my first week of classes, I have learned that every student needs a handy-dandy list of fun facts about themselves to tell other people. Many professors use the first couple of classes to learn about their students, so you may need to think about who you are and how you want to introduce yourself to your professor and classmates. We all have that one go-to interesting fact about ourselves, but sometimes you just have to mix it up!

1. My favorite hobby is...

What do you do in your free time? Personally, I love to stay active! I am a competitive Latin dancer and enjoy teaching and taking Zumba classes, going to the gym, and hiking.

2. I love...

Is there something, someone, or somewhere that you love? What makes your heart ache? What do you miss when it's gone? I can say that I love my friends because I feel my most confident when I'm surrounded by those who love and support me.

3. I look up to...

Is there someone you adore? Who mesmerizes you? Who do you wish to learn from? After watching "A Ballerina's Tale," I discovered Misty Copeland. In 2015 she became the first African American ballet dancer to become the Female Principal Dancer at American Ballet Theatre. Her passion, grace, and strength continuously motivate me to better myself as an athlete and an individual.

4. This art speaks to me because...

Coco Chanel said, "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different." This encourages me to always follow my heart no matter what. I will never follow society's standards and norms because they do not define me. Chanel's saying definitely influences my character and lifestyle.

5. A funny and/or embarrassing memory of me is...

When you make others laugh they want to spend time and make memories with you! Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. You will come off as down to earth, easy-going, and loyal.

6. My siblings or lack thereof influenced me by...

I can go on and on about my brother, who is 10 years older than I. We have opposite personalities and despite the age gap, we're quite close.

7. My pet(s) are my life because...

Only sad people don't like hearing about furry creatures, even if your pets are slimy and slithering creatures all human beings enjoy hearing pet tales!

8. I'm afraid of...

Your personality can be revealed by your likes and dislikes, including the things that you fear. I am terrified of change and the unknown, hence, the future is an anxiety-inducing topic to discuss for me.

9. I am the way I am because...

What have you gone through in life that has shaped you into who you are today? Remember to be open minded and allow yourself to open up to your peers. You may be surprised by how others respond and/or what others have endured as well.

10. The most unusual item that can be found in your dorm...

This is a fun fact about yourself that can easily liven up an awkward conversation. Think about your quirks and differences! One item I have in my dorm is my teddy bear, Peter, whom I like to joke is my boyfriend.

11. My dream job is...

In college, "What's your major?" is a widespread question. Nonetheless, skip the boring statement of "I'm majoring in..." and go in depth on what your dream job is (hopefully your major factors in to this dream of yours).

12. My hidden talents are...

Angelina Jolie is a knife thrower. Kendall Jenner can produce bird noises. Amanda Seyfried can crochet and knit. Is there anything special you can do? Some people have rare and unique talents, maybe you can think of some hidden talents of your own!

13. My guilty pleasure is...

I will say it a million times: don't be shy when introducing yourself to new people! I'll start by divulging my guilty pleasure: Youtube's family vlogging channel, "OKBaby"!

Check them out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvUCbnwzySKgbKiB_...



14. Some activities on my bucket list are...


This is an easy way to grab people's attention and find others with similar desires as you. Be an adventurer! Go out of your comfort zone!

15. Talk about your best friend...

How would your best friend describe you? What do you love to do with your best friend?

16. Talk about an accomplishment of yours...

You are incredible and have achieved so much! Reveal something that you are proud of — show off a little!

17. This one time at my job...

Bosses breathing down your neck. Curious coworkers asking personal questions. Cursing customers who never leave you alone. Your job can be filled with tons of hilarious situations that can easily entertain a crowd.

18. During the summer...

Any scars with stories? Any summer flings? Any lessons learned from the tanning too long? Now that summer is over, disclose memories that can leave positive impressions on others.

19. I volunteer at...

Do you do any community service? Share a funny moment while you were volunteering. What did you learn while there? Would you continue?

20. [blank] is meaningful to me because...



What do you appreciate in life? What brightens your day? What makes you fall in love? What does someone have to do to make you smile?

Finally, remember to be outgoing! Reveal that three-mile smile and open your arms to learning about others. Spread smiles, love, and happiness.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Time Travels So Much Faster Around The World: Week One Of My Adventures In Sydney, Australia

How has it already been a week, and can I stay here forever?

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I've officially been in Sydney, Australia for one week. Somehow it feels like I've been here forever and I just touched down at the same time. It's been a crazy week already, so let's dive in.

Day 1: We landed at 7 am and made our way out to our hotel in the center of Sydney's Chinatown. After settling in, we all walked down to Sydney Harbor for a welcome dinner cruise. We sailed around the harbor for three hours, starting at sunset, taking in the incredible sights.

Day 2: We spent the morning on chartered buses going through Sydney on a guided sightseeing tour. We saw The Sydney Opera House, Bondi Beach, Watson's Bay & Mrs. Macquarie's Chair, some of the most famous spots in Sydney. After a quick power nap, my friend McKenna & I chose an adorable little Italian restaurant on the harbor for dinner.

Day 3: After getting up incredibly early, we spent the day at Tobruk Sheep Station. We tasted Billy tea and damper cake, learned to crack a whip, throw a boomerang and shear a sheep, and even witnessed a sheep wedding.

Day 4: McKenna and I walked over eight miles exploring the city of Sydney, from Hyde Park to St. Mary's Catholic Church. We then walked down to the Sydney Harbor Bridge and had a nice steak dinner while enjoying the fireworks over Cockle Bay.

Day 5: I spent my first lazy Sunday reading "The How of Happiness" by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a book required for one of my classes, which discusses scientific research and tests into levels of happiness.

Day 6: Our first day of class was largely uneventful.

Day 7: I spent the morning doing our first day of classes. For the afternoon, two friends & I took the train down to Luna Park for a taping of Australia's Got Talent auditions. We saw some incredible acts, from singing to comedy and even some cooking. We bonded with Nicole Scherzinger over being American, and she called us cute (life=made).

Today, I'm spending the morning in class, talking about how and why people are happy. This afternoon, I'll be touring Sydney Opera House (and the opera bar of course). Check back next week for more adventures!

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