"You Can Come If You Want" vs. "I Want You To Come"
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The Big Difference Between "You Can Come" and "I Want You To Come"

I'm not going to go where I'm not wanted.

Two girls in conversation, one looks perplexed
Brooke Cagle

Recently, I came across a video on Twitter that accurately explained how irritating and confusing it is when someone responds with the ever-popular "if you want to."

In the video, a boy was doing a parody of a 911 call where the dispatcher asked him if he needed an ambulance, and he responded with "you can if you want to," which left the dispatcher confused as to what actions to take.

Obviously this video was fake, but the annoyance I felt after watching that video was all too real.

Some may tell you otherwise, but there is a huge difference between "you can come" and "I want you to come."

"You can come if you want" is a half-hearted invitation. It makes the person on the receiving end feel unimportant, uninvited and confused as to whether or not the other person actually wants to spend time with them.

However, "I want you to come" is reassuring. It shows the person on the other end that they are important, wanted and appreciated.

Think about it. Would you want to spend time with someone who only wants to get together "if you do?" I know I sure wouldn't.

Instead, I'd enjoy my own company or the company of those who truly appreciate me.

Despite the amazing things our generation has accomplished, we do have one major flaw: we play it way too safe.

One of my old bosses (shoutout to T) once sat us all down and told us about the dangers of playing it safe when it comes to how we handle our feelings about those we care about.

Even if we have all the love in the world for someone, we choose to keep it hidden. We don't show our excitement over getting to spend time with our friends or significant others, even if we were bouncing off the ceiling over the thought of being in their presence.

We act like a generation of "chill" individuals who just "go with the flow" and claim that "it is what it is." We basically act like we have no emotions.

We overcomplicate everything, which in turn destroys our relationships.

Why do we do that?

It's not that difficult. If you miss someone, text them, call them, write them a letter, or go to their house.

If you're excited about getting to spend time with someone, let them know. It will make them happy and your get togethers will be much more enjoyable.

After you go home, text your friends telling them how much you enjoyed spending time with them.

Refraining from showing your appreciation for your loved ones is the quickest way to lose them. I wish I hadn't learned that the hard way.

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