- Why is the entire campus one big hill?
- Is Westside Village slowly trying to take over the university?
- What's the Willard Preacher up to rn?
- Does he own more than one hoodie?
- Are bikers really students or are they secretly Ohio State students trying to get in our heads?
- Does Pennsylvania require kids to take a driver's test to get their license? (I wouldn't be able to tell.)
- Who names the Creamery flavors?
- Can they name my future kids for me?
- Are the high-rises getting higher by the day?
- Has anyone really ever graduated without a class in Willard?
- If the campus is smoke-free, does Forum still count as part of campus?
- Who is feeding drugs to the squirrels?
- To the police undercover as Uber drivers:
why? And who do you think you are? And how dare you? Does the "S" in S Zone stand for State or South?
- Did anybody think that giving the Beaver Stadium sections three-lettered names would be helpful?
- Who gave chicken baskets the right to be so good?
- Will I ever actually be towed when I park in Pollock?
- Will I ever be able to find a legal parking spot downtown?
- Has anyone counted the number of sidewalks on the Old Main lawn?
- What is the sculpture in front of Old Main and can I climb it?
- How many years will it take before I can learn the difference between Alumni Hall and Heritage Hall?
- How does the Sbarro feel like an entirely different world when you walk in?
- Why do I turn into a different person when I go to a football game?
- Why do we all turn into the same exact person when we go to a football game?
- How many Nittany Lions are there, really? I know there's a conspiracy here.
- Is Keegan Michael-Key actually ever back on campus?
- If so, where can I find him?
- Why do I have to dress every day for snow, rain, and sunshine all at once?
- Why are there 14 different coffee shops and only one store that sells umbrellas?
- Why is everyone on campus so kind?
- How can one place have so much school spirit?
- Really, how is Penn State so amazing?
34 Questions I Have For Penn State University
May 12, 2020
"I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?"