I'm not really a movie person. I mean, I love movies, but they're too long and you have to watch them all at once. My attention can barely be held long enough for an hour-long television show, let alone over two hours of something I had to pay $15 for. Even in the age of Netflix, I'm really bad at just sitting down and watching an entire movie unless someone forces me to or I've got a previously invested interest in the subject matter. I tend to do better with comedies, and therefore haven't seen some of the most famous drama films of all time.They're fairly famous enough that I've got an idea for what I believe to be the plot in my head -- but I've been wrong before. Let's compare what I think these movies are about, versus what Wikipedia thinks they're about.

"Inception"

What I think the plot is: Leonardo DiCaprio is having trouble sleeping and enlists Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Hemingway's mistress from "Midnight in Paris" to help him figure out why. He discovers that he can control his dreams if he's lucid enough while asleep and Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn't know what a kick is. Or something.

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: DiCaprio plays a professional thief who commits corporate espionage by infiltrating the subconscious of his targets. He is offered a chance to have his criminal history erased as payment for a task considered to be impossible: "inception," the implentation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.

Oh, wow. I was way off.

"Star Wars" Saga

(Oof, I know. I'm going to watch them all before the new movie comes out, I swear!)

What I think the plot is: Darth Vader is Luke's father, and Luke and Leia are siblings even though they spend more than half the franchise in love with each other. Yoda teaches Luke the force, which makes things float and also destroys things in mid-air. Lightsabers are highly dangerous glow sticks that are commonly used in combat. There's British robot C3PO and tiny beeping vacuum cleaner R2-D2, and these things are important to the plot, somehow. Everyone is fighting in space to save...their planets? Their air? Wait, no. That was "Spaceballs."

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: It depicts the adventures of various characters "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away," following the main story of Anakin Skywalker and his son Luke. The original trilogy begins with the Galactic Empire nearing completion of the Death Star space station, which will allow the Empire to crush the Rebel Alliance, an organized resistance formed to combat Emperor Palpatine's tyranny. Palpatine's Sith apprentice Darth Vader captures Princess Leia, a member of the rebellion who has stolen the plans to the Death Star and hidden them in the astromech droid R2-D2. R2, along with his protocol droid counterpart C-3PO, escapes to the desert planet Tatooine. There, the droids are purchased by farm boy Luke Skywalker and his step-uncle and aunt. While Luke is cleaning R2, he accidentally triggers a message put into the droid by Leia, who asks for assistance from the legendary Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. When Luke asks about his father, whom he has never met, Obi-Wan tells him that Anakin Skywalker was a great Jedi who was betrayed and murdered by Vader. Obi-Wan and Luke hire the smuggler Han Solo and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca to take them to Alderaan, Leia's home world, which they eventually find has been destroyed by the Death Star. Once on board the space station, Luke and Han rescue Leia while Obi-Wan allows himself to be killed during a lightsaber duel with Vader; his sacrifice allows the group to escape with the plans that help the Rebels destroy the Death Star.

There was no way I was going to get this one right, really. Most of what I know about "Star Wars" is from the Star Tours ride at Disneyland and the "Family Guy" specials.

"When Harry Met Sally"

What I think the plot is: Harry and Sally are chill friends who end up together in the end. Sally teaches Harry that women can, convincingly, fake orgasms, and the woman in the deli will have what she's having. I'm not sure at all how they get from being friends to faking orgasms to ending up together, but I'm sure the middle stuff isn't that important, anyways.

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: The story follows the title characters from the time they meet just before sharing a cross-country drive, through twelve years or so of chance encounters in New York City. Harry says that "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." Sally disagrees, claiming that men and women can be strictly friends without sex. In New York, because of their divergent philosophies, they part on unfriendly terms. Five years later, they meet in a New York airport and find themselves on the same plane. They eventually separate, concluding that they will not be friends. Harry and Sally run into each other again five years later, in a New York bookstore. Their dating experiences with others continue to highlight their different approaches to relationships and sex. During a New Year's Eve party, Harry and Sally find themselves attracted to each other. One night, over the phone, Sally tearfully tells Harry that her ex is going to marry a paralegal. He rushes to her apartment to comfort her, and they unexpectedly have sex, resulting in an awkward moment the next morning as Harry quickly leaves in a state of distress. This creates tension in their relationship. They make up and get married three months later.

I guess they do end up together in the end.

"The Godfather"

What I think the plot is: Marlon Brando gives everyone the chance to ask him for one favor on the day of his daughter's wedding, and he likes to do so while sitting in a big chair, petting a white fluffy cat. If you ask him for more than one favor, he'll send a hit man on you and then cut off a horse's head and put it in your bed while you're sleeping so that you wake up next to it. He's going to make an offer you can't refuse, also? That seems so legit, though; the mob boss gives you two favors when he doesn't have to give you any at all! Don't touch his wife, though, or he'll be super angry.

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: Widely regarded as one of the greatest films of all time, this mob drama focuses on the powerful Italian-American crime family of Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando). When the don's youngest son, Michael (Al Pacino), reluctantly joins the Mafia, he becomes involved in the inevitable cycle of violence and betrayal. Although Michael tries to maintain a normal relationship with his wife, Kay (Diane Keaton), he is drawn deeper into the family business.

I don't think that I love the sound of thick, exaggerated, Italian accents enough to sit through this one.

The Avengers

What I think the plot is: A random assortment of science experiments, aliens, accidents, and random humans get together and fight crime together. I don't know how they meet, or why Hawkeye and Scarlett Johansson are the only human beings in this group. I don't understand why Thor (an alien? a god? I don't even KNOW) is fighting among these puny earthlings when it seems like he would have more important things to deal with on his home planet of Norse/Norway/Hammerville. Also, I'm pretty sure Iron Man, Chris Evans, and Mark Ruffalo can take on whatever evil they're fighting, just the three of them. What do they need those other losers for, anyways?

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: In the film, Nick Fury, director of the peacekeeping organization S.H.I.E.L.D., recruits Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, and Thor to form a team that must stop Thor's brother Loki from subjugating Earth.

Wait, but shouldn't Thor just be fighting his brother on his own? Isn't that sort of a personal matter?

Ratatouille

What I think the plot is: Remy, a rat, wants to be a chef but that's an impossible task because he isn't a human. The red headed chef is really bad at his job, and got hired by accident. Remy sneaks into his hair and controls his cooking movements blindly by pulling on the ginger's hair, and somehow never manages to burn or maim anyone with flying knives. No one thinks it's alarming that a rat is the main chef in this restaurant.

What Wikipedia thinks the plot is: The plot follows Remy, who dreams of becoming a chef and tries to achieve his goal by forming an alliance with a Parisian restaurant's garbage boy. When an old woman sees his clan, they are forced to abandon their home; Remy is separated from them as a result of the woman's gunshots. He ends up in the sewers of Paris and eventually finds himself at a skylight overlooking the kitchen of a restaurant. As Remy watches, a young man named Alfredo Linguini, son of a Gusteau's former Italian girlfriend named Renata Linguini, is hired as a garbage boy by Skinner, the restaurant's devious current owner and Gusteau's former sous-chef. When Linguini spills a pot of soup and attempts to recreate it with disastrous results, Remy falls into the kitchen and uses other ingredients to complement the soup to perfection. Linguini catches Remy and is confronted by Skinner. As Skinner yells at Linguini, the soup is accidentally served and proves to be a success. Colette Tatou, the staff's only female chef, convinces Skinner to retain Linguini, who is assumed to be the soup's creator. After Skinner catches Remy in the act of escaping, he orders Linguini to take the rat far away and kill it. Linguini then discovers Remy's intelligence and passion for food, so he keeps him.

This one is really embarrassing because I'm OBSESSED with Pixar films, but for whatever reason this one slipped under the radar. I'll watch it some day, hopefully.

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There a million and one movies that I've never seen and have some sort of warped sense of plot that I've gathered only from references in popular culture and parodies. The list will only continue to grow as I try to watch everything that everyone around insists is the "best movie ever!", but I suppose my hilarious interpretations of these ridiculously famous movies makes for great dinner conversation, so I may just never watch them.

JUST KIDDING, I'm going to watch ALL OF THE STAR WARS. Soon.