20 Ways To Get Over A Breakup

20 Ways To Get Over A Breakup

And words to live by.

Breakups suck. There's no way around that. But there are ways to make it better.

1. Have a good cry (or seven).

Let it all out. Embrace the sadness you’re feeling immediately after a breakup. If you don’t properly mourn and deal with the sad feelings you have, you won’t be able to get over the breakup. Cry until you can’t cry anymore, and you might be surprised by how much better you feel.

2. Indulge in your favorite treat.

I’m not saying you should turn to eating as a coping mechanism, but there is no shame in indulging in your favorite treat after a heartbreak. Head to the grocery store and pick up your favorite Ben & Jerry’s, or Oreo cookies. Sharing is not required.

3. Go shopping.

A little retail therapy never hurt anybody.

4. Pamper yourself.

Get your hair done, get a mani-pedi. Treat yourself, girl, because you deserve it.

5. Blast your favorite female artist.

Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood- whoever it may be, put on your favorite CD and blast the music as loud as you can. Sing your heart out. Clean your house. Have a dance party by yourself. Music will lift you up, especially if it’s girl-power music. Try Katy Perry’s “Part of Me" or Christina Aguilera's "Fighter."

6. Have a girls' night out.

Getting ready is half the fun of going out. Get dolled up with your favorite makeup and hair products, toss on your favorite going-out outfit and high heels, and go out with your girl friends for a night on the town. Go to your favorite restaurant or bar, and embrace the beautiful, unattached woman you are!

7. Or a girls' night in.

Grab a carton of your favorite ice cream, and curl up on the couch with your best girl friends. Put on a funny movie (or three) and laugh your heart out.

8. Play a fun game.

Gather around the table with your closest friends and a bottle of wine, and settle into a game of Cards Against Humanity, What Do You Meme, or What’s Yours Like? I’ve played these games with my best friends and laughed so hard I cried. Fun games like these are a great way to lighten the mood. Laughter is the best medicine.

9. Take a trip to the local library.

Check out some fun books from the library and escape into a world of fiction.

10. Have “me” time.

Take a hot shower, and put in a hair treatment or face mask. Recline with a good book or your latest Netflix addiction, and just relax for the night. Treat yourself like the queen that you are!

11. Call your mom.

A nice phone call to your mom can work wonders, especially when you’re hurting. You should never feel ashamed to reach out and ask for some help when you need it.

12. Clean your apartment.

Blast some music and clean your place from top to bottom. You may be surprised how much better you'll feel.

13. Redecorate.

Pick out a new phone case and background. Take down old pictures from your wall and put up new ones. This will create a change in scenery, which can, surprisingly, help immensely when getting over a break up.

14. Adopt a hobby.

After a breakup, you find a lot more free time on your hands. Spend some time to learn calligraphy or paint. Cook and bake recipes that are shared all over Facebook, or finally attempt those crafts that have been sitting on your Pinterest forever. Trying something new is fresh and exciting!

15. Reconnect with old friends.

Take advantage of your free time to call up friends you haven't seen in years. They'll be thrilled to hear from you, and you can catch up over coffee or lunch.

16. Work out.

Join a gym, take up yoga, or go for a run around the block. Endorphins released during exercise are good for the mind and body.

17. Take a class.

Take a local cooking, dance, or pottery class. Find something that interests you and try it out! You'll have fun, learn some things, and make some friends.

18. Spend an entire day at your favorite place.

Whether it be the beach, the mall, or your favorite hiking trail, take a warm Saturday to just go and spend the whole day there. Do what makes you happy.

19. Get back out there.

When you're ready, get back out into the dating game.

20. Never forget to love yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I'm Glad You Have Him

"Someone should."

I’m glad you have him.

He likes girls that don’t try too hard, but obviously by now you know that. When he does that thing with his face.. ,that small smirk.. you know, when the corners of his lips rise just a bit, and you can tell he doesn’t want you to know he’s smiling, but you’re damn well aware he is, that thing..

I know, you know by now.

I guess.. I’m just glad you have him.
Someone should.

I knew it wasn’t suppose to be me..
as much as I wanted it to be me..
I knew it wasn’t suppose to? Is that weird?
I knew he was meant to fall in love with the more perfect girl, then remember why it never worked out with his previous ones..-me.
But I didn’t want to be the previous girl.
I wanted to be the perfect girl.
The girl who volunteers at animal shelters (not for the pictures but because she “knew it was making a difference”)
Yeah that girl..
Not the girl that saw his texts but purposely waited the 30 minutes before texting him back just in hopes he wouldn’t grow tired of my constant messages or seeing my name appear across his phone.
Not the girl that flirted with other guys just to get a reaction.
And definitely not the girl that gave her everything to the man she claimed she loved, just to turn around the next day and sit on the lap of some random man she’d never really known.
-not that girl.
I wanted to be different.
But I spent so long trying to be different that by the time the opportunity presented itself to me, I was so far away from the one I once attempted to be that I wasn’t even remotely sure on how to get close to her again.

I guess that’s why I’m here.
To tell you I fucked up.
To tell you I think of my decision everyday, and even if I don’t act on it, I know damn well I missed something amazing and that’s a choice I’ll have to live with.

I guess I’m just glad you have him.

Do you notice how his face lights up when he talks about work? Not even his own success—he’s never really went on about that..but the way he looks when he’s telling you of the sale he made with the highest up person he could manage to get..
or the way he tells you about his new niece and what all he’s learned from being an uncle.

And yeah, you’ve always wanted a niece. So you cling on to the idea that could be YOUR niece.
That this life he goes on about could be YOUR life.

And you become afraid almost.
Like the things you’ve done,
People you’ve met,
Opinions you’ve had-
Like they were all nothing.
Because this thing.. THIS

This is real to you.

It all just becomes so real to you.

That you want to give your everything to a man you never intended on loving, but you’re still so far away from where you need to be, and at some point you just realize it will never work. No, that’s not because you don’t love him, and no it’s not because you aren’t willing to give him everything you possibly could,


but it’s because you know in your heart that the person he’s meant to be with is someone whose ready to take in all of him.

And. You’re. Just. Not. There.

So I’m glad you have him.

Because he deserved someone like you. You see it has been almost 4 years since I’ve met this man and each day my heart heals more. With someone new, I’m now emotionally and physically prepared to give him everything I wasn’t able to give your man.

And though it’s hard for me to say, my heart will never fully be over him. I believe that if you ever really loved anyone then they’ll always be present in there, somewhere. It doesn’t mean you can’t love again. Because you will. That person will make you realize why it didn’t work out with the man before you, but I promise it doesn’t mean those feelings just leave you because they won’t. You’ll be reminded of chances you missed and little questions of “what if’s”...

But things have worked out the way I saw them.

The man I once loved and myself couldn’t work out because our souls were not meant to be.

So even though there are nights I lay awake wondering...
And even though there are times I hate myself for being the person I use to be, to someone like him,

I’m still so thankful it was you.

I’m so, so very glad you have him.

Because he deserved to have someone like you.

And finally, after many years of getting lost along the way, I can be happy too, and know I’m ready for all the things I once wasn’t.

The "almost" scarier part of all of this is he knew I wasn’t ready either. Neither of us ever admitted this to one another, we both just painfully came to terms with the fact my head and heart were in two completely different spots and he deserved more than to wait for them to finally meet.

So like him, I’ve been waiting for the perfect girl to enter his life. And now that you have, I want to express my gratitude for you.

You see you are willing and ready to give him everything I couldn’t. And for that,

I’m so glad you have him.

Do me a favor though..

Take care of him.

Love him everyday, for the rest of your life-this won’t be hard.
Don’t get mad at him when he socializes with the many friends he has... he’s lovable, by now you know this.
Don’t get discouraged if he doesn’t answer you right away..
He’s busy and one of the most successful men I know. Take pride in that, I should’ve.
And lastly, don’t ever be like me.
Don’t lie,
Don’t crave attention at whatever form you can get it,
Don’t ask why he has friends that are girls that are so damn beautiful..
you’re beautiful too.
Just trust this man, and whatever you do.
Don’t be like me.

I am glad...
I am so very, truly glad, he has you.

Cover Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/fZ2hMpHIrbI

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To The Girl Who Can't Let Go, What Are You Really Losing?

"Accept that you deserve more than painful love — life is moving, the healthiest thing for your heart is to move with it."

To the girl who can't seem to let go,

Heartbreak sucks, I know. It's probably the worst pain any human can endure to be completely honest. But just remember, this feeling does not last. Although at the moment it may feel like forever and it's hard to picture yourself in the future feeling any other way — it does pass. Time does heal and I can vouch for that. Don't feel as if it's expected for you to be over your heartbreak so quickly. You don't need to be over it right away — you shouldn't be actually. Don't try to suppress these feelings, because if you do, they will come back when they're least wanted. You're allowed to take all the time you need. So for right now, just let these feelings run its course and one day you'll slowly begin feeling like yourself again. While your heart is healing, I want you to remember a few things.

I just want to begin by saying, that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay. There's this habit of getting mad at people in general when they realize they don't want to be with you anymore. Right now you're probably angry because you spent precious time romanticizing something bigger with you and this person — of course, it's a natural reaction to be angry when you're left without any explanation or closure. That feeling knowing the person you once took a liking to and romanticized everything about, no longer wants to be with you anymore feels like a rip in the heart. It makes you question, "why don't they like me anymore?" But at this point, you need to recognize that it's not you — it's them.

You can't even begin to fathom how someone could ever make you feel this way, but I want you to remember that not everyone is like you. Not everyone is going to have the same heart as you do. You are one of a kind.

You may even be feeling lost and confused, wondering what you did wrong that made them leave, replaying scenarios over and over in your head, wondering what else you could've done to have made them stay.

But in reality, you didn't do anything to make them run away. All you did was love them too much and that still wasn't enough for them. It's not that you weren't "good enough" — it's because you were too good for them.

You're allowed to be angry, upset, and maybe even dislike that person at the moment. But do not let it get the best of you because in the end, that person was still someone you made extraordinary memories with and someone you shared a special connection with. Despite it all, you still loved and cared for that person — and a part of you still does. As hurt as you may be, don't spend so much time loathing or dwelling over your anger, because it'll only leave your kind heart bitter. I want you to take comfort in knowing the kind and good person you are.

Throughout this healing process, I also want you to be aware of your worth and value. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. You're worth so much more than to be put on the back burner. If they've taken you for granted now, they're never going to see your true value. If they don't see your potential now, then they don't deserve you later. If they fail to recognize the good they have in front of them, then they're not worth the time and energy. They don't deserve your big heart and the goodness you radiate.

Remember that actions speak louder than words. I don't want you to make the mistake of falling for words and promises sugar coated with false hope. You can't convince someone to like you or make them stay. If someone truly wants to be with you, then they'll show it. If you're giving more than what you're getting back, it's not worth it. You deserve to be loved and treated the way you want to be treated. Never lose sight of your worth and value.

Unfortunately, change is inevitable and a part of life — you either grow with a person or grow apart. You grow apart when you don't connect anymore. However, when you grow apart from someone, you only grow closer to others.

It's easier said than done, but don't fight for closure because sometimes you're not always going to get it — and maybe it's better that way. Sometimes it's better to just let things go and let things be. You have to find peace with whoever comes and goes from your life. Remember, you don't need anyone in order to move forward, except yourself. Once you're content with yourself, you will be okay.

I know it's hard to let go, but you have to in order to grow. Take this heartbreak as a gain, not a loss — look at it as a lesson. The love and heartbreak this person gave you have matured you into this ambitious person who is positive about what she wants out of a relationship. This a reminder that there are better things out there waiting for you.

It may feel like love has beat you up until you were black and blue, however, it did not destroy you. Of course, it's left you heartbroken and upset, but it hasn't left you bitter.

You're letting go of them, but keeping your happiness.

As Taylor Swift, the queen of knowing what heartbreak feels like would say, "She lost him but she found herself, and somehow that was everything."


The girl who learned that the trick to holding on, was all that letting go

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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