So you just got dumped. As a fellow "dumpee," I know first hand how much this sucks. All you want to do is analyze the relationship, pick yourself apart, drink wine, eat pizza and cry in your bed while listening to sad music. I bet I hit the nail right on the head, right? I've experienced quite a bit of heartbreak in my 21 years. After my most recent one I realized that, while there is no right or wrong way to cope, there are a few things you can do (and a few you shouldn't do) in order to speed up the healing process.
DO: Put the pictures away--in a safe place.
You need to get rid of those selfies. It's not healthy for you to be looking at them every time you open up your phone. Don't delete them. I promise you'll regret that. No matter how angry or sad you are now, you'll be able to look back on them fondly later. Put them somewhere that isn't in your face, but that is also easily accessible. I recommend storing them in a folder on your computer or, for our old-fashioned friends, in a box under your bed.
DO: Work out.
The best revenge you can have is showing someone you can survive without them. It's a plus when you can do that while also looking really hot. Get that booty to the gym and make it bigger. If you don't think your ex will miss your personality, you can bet they'll miss "dat ass." Gym not your thing? That's okay. Confidence makes you look hot too. Don't forget to treat yourself. You're having a rough time and ice cream can definitely help that. Everything is good in moderation.
DO: Get out of bed.
No school or work tomorrow? GO OUT! You've spent your entire relationship tied down by someone. Now, it's your turn to let loose. Go to a club, get drunk, dance with a boy you don't know. Don't hook up with anyone and don't drunk dial your ex. If you don't think you can trust yourself, maybe you should look for a more sober option. You're too vulnerable to be intimate with another person and I hope I don't have to explain why calling your ex is a bad idea.
DO: Cry to sad music.
Hey, the person you really cared about just broke your heart. It's okay to cry, but don't let it last for too long. For when you're feeling sad, I recommend Say You Do by Dierks Bentley, I Swear This Time I Mean It by Mayday Parade, or anything Adele. Once you've listened to a few, it's time to wipe your tears and remember the amazing person you are. I recommend Comeback by Ella Eyre, IDFWU by Big Sean, or Love Yourself by the Biebs.
DO: Make some new friends.
What's the one thing you've always wanted to do, but never had the time? You've been so consumed by your relationship that you neglected your own interests. For me, it was yoga. I always said I didn't have the time or the money. I'm so happy I took the risk! Whatever your activity might be, you'll make some new friends along the way. Don't reach out to your ex to try and make a friendship work. You lost your best friend and that sucks. With time, a friendship may bloom, but right now it's way too soon. For either of you.
DO: Take a trip.
Time to make good use of that bucket list. The world is your oyster! Someone once told me the best thing to do after you've had your heart broken is to travel. So eat, pray, love homies. You can go with a bestie, a sibling, or alone! It's up to you now. Don't go anywhere you planned on going with your ex. Remember how miserable Carrie Bradshaw was on her Mexican honeymoon without her husband? Someday you'll go but, right now it'll just be a reminder of what isn't.
DO: Be thankful.
You may not think so now, but they definitely did you a favor. No matter the manner in which the relationship ended, it ended for a reason. You weren't right for each other. Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you were completely blindsided. It doesn't make it hurt any less. Just try to focus on the future. The more time you spend on the wrong person, the longer it will take the right one to find you. Don't analyze yourself. There is nothing you could have done to make them stay. It is not your responsibility to change in order to for someone to value you. If they couldn't see your worth, why would you want them anyway?
