Pregame Activities

- Welcome to Super Bowl 50! The year where the only deflated balls will be from Peyton Manning's old age.

- And now your National Anthem sang by Lady Gaga. It's rumored that you can see her sparkling from space.

- Oh good the coin toss. Anddddd... Hillary wins the toss. Alright there's something going on with the coin tosses recently. Panthers win the toss. Broncos to receive.

- The big game is about to begin. This is the moment that we've all been waiting for.

First Quarter

- Broncos lead by 3 with 10:43 left in the first quarter. Now time for Tom Brady to go and deflate the balls during commercial break.

- And the Doritos commercial just won the game. Babies love Doritos.

- First challenge of the game. Ron Rivera wants retribution for that crappy call.

- Mountain Dew: Puppy monkey baby? Really?

- Call stands. Incomplete pass.Refs have established a low standard for tonight. Look for more horrible calls ahead.

- Denver just stole that ball for a touchdown like Cam stole the dab. 10-0 Denver.

- There's a new scandal this year: Carolina rubbed butter on their hands and can't hold the ball if their life depended on it.

- First quarter down. Time to shotgun some beers. Second quarter to follow.

Second Quarter

- Aquib Talib coming in with the face mask penalty. Your head is not supposed to spin like that.

- Apparently Carolina forgot that you can tackle the punt returner.

- McManus hits the field goal. 13-7 Denver.

- Cam is looking more like Captain Butterfingers than Superman.

- New drinking game: Every time Carolina fumbles, take a shot.

- D-line for Carolina coming in clutch with the interception. Big boy can run!

- If only we could have Marshawn Lynch doing this play-by-play commentary; "I'm just here so I won't get fined."

- It's halftime. Can't wait to see Coldplay, Bruno Mars, and Beyoncé...because you know they mesh so well.

- Coldplay is just a bad wannabe U2.

- Dance battle between Bruno and Bey? Dammit Chris Martin you ruined the moment.

- Alright Coldplay, the feels are coming through. Tear streams down your face!! I feel so inspired. Hopefully Cam and the Panthers will come out with some inspiration as well.

Third Quarter

- Start to the second half. The beers are setting in, the food is almost gone, the game needs to step it up a notch.

- Carolina/the wind is blowing it. Field goal no good.

- With 6:30 left in the third, anticipation is running rampant for a comeback by Carolina. These kids need footballs Cam, give them the football!

- The ball was just given over 3 times in one possession. Stop playing with my feelings.

- Ray Lewis would've murdered a guy by now if he was still playing.

Fourth Quarter

- Peyton fumbles the ball and tries out his MMA skills by throwing a punch and missing

- These commercials are not hitting the mark. If you're going to pay $5 million for a spot, at least make it good.

- While this game is boring I'll go ahead and make a prediction for next year: Browns vs. Rams. If this happens, just go ahead and give up on the NFL because the Browns will never be in the super bowl.

- Cam Newton was trying out his flopping technique for his upcoming soccer stint.

- Cam fumbles again and touchdown by the Broncos. They're done folks, they're done.

- This might be Peyton's final game and what a way to go out.

- If Peyton doesn't sing "I just won the super bowl" (nationwide tune) I'm going to be pissed.

- I guess it's time to leave the house. It's been real. Another Super Bowl down, another great Eli Manning meme. He's going to have nightmares about Peyton tying his Super Bowl rings.

(via Twitter.com)