How To Play 'New Girl's' True American Drinking Game

How To Play 'New Girl's' True American Drinking Game

"It's 75% drinking, 20% Candy Land, and the floor is molten lava."
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I think it's fair to say that anyone who watches "New Girl" knows about True American. This crazy, nonsense drinking game which pops up every so often throughout the seasons and first introduced in season one, episode 20.

The game, as described by "New Girl" character and fan-favorite Schmidt, is 75% drinking game and 20% Candy Land with a floor of molten lava.

The point of the game is for players to navigate through the Candy Land-like spaces to the "castle," which is a table in the center of the room that holds beer "pawns" and the "king" bottle. The first person to reach and sip from the bottle wins.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things "New Girl" Fans Know to Be True

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Here's how to play:

Step #1: Prepare the "castle"

First, set up your "castle." The castle is made up of beer "pawns" and the "king," a bottle filled with the alcohol of your choice.

The bottle should be in the middle of the table, surrounded by four lines of beer pawns. There is no exact number of beers necessary for each line of beer pawns. Choose any amount of beers that seems appropriate for the amount of players.

Step #2: Set up spaces

Set up spaces using pillows, chairs or any other objects players will be able to stand on. Place an equal amount of spaces around the table. You'll want about 5-8 spaces on each side, depending on the size of the room you're playing in.

Only four of these spaces should reach the castle, lining up with the parade of beer "pawns" and allowing players to take a beer pawn from the castle. For example, in the photo above, each of the chairs touch a corner of the table at the end of the line of beer pawns. Therefore, these are two of the four special spaces that allow players to take a beer. Unlike the pillows pictured, which are just regular spaces that the players can use to move around.

Step #3: Pick teams

Teams are optional. To pick teams, all of the players will place a certain number (1 to 5) of fingers against their forehead on the count of three.

Any players who hold up the same number are a team. Unmatched players can team up as needed or simply pair up with the person standing closest to them.

Step #4: Begin

Begin with a shotgun "tip-off" to determine which player goes first.

The winner of this shotgunning contest will yell, "One, two, three...JFK!" to announce the official beginning of the game. All players will enthusiastically respond, "FDR!" then quickly grab a beer pawn from the castle and run to any space they wish to start at, excluding for the four special spaces that reach the castle.

Step #5: Make moves

The winner of the shotgunning contest has earned the first turn. From then on, the order of turns will move in a clockwise rotation. During each turn, the player will move one space toward the castle and choose to play one of the following mini-games.

Mini-game No. 1: The player whose turn it is will count to three then all players will place a certain number (1-5) of fingers on their forehead. Any player who selects a number no one else selected can move ONE space.

Mini-game No. 2: The player whose turn it is will recite the beginning of a famous American quote. The first player to complete the quote can move TWO spaces.

Mini-game No. 3: The player whose turn it is will name two famous American people, places, or things. The first player to identify what the two have in common can move THREE spaces.

For example, say it's your turn. You will move one space then choose one of the three mini-games. You and all of the players will participate in that game, and the winner will move accordingly. After this, your turn is over and it's the next player's turn (in the original clockwise rotation).

Step #6: "Play on, playa."


Continue playing by these rules until one lucky winner reaches the bottle and sips from its royal glass.

The bottle cannot be opened until every last pawn is removed from the castle. Any players who fail to keep at least one beer in hand, who accidentally end up with more than three beers in hand, or who touch the lava are immediately disqualified. Disqualified players can rejoin the game by shotgunning a beer.

Congratulations!

You are now able to impress all of your "New Girl"-loving friends with knowledge of the workings of the epic True American drinking game. Know your limits, drink responsibly, and enjoy!

Cover Image Credit: i.amz.mshcdn.com

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the US Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to ten people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the seventeen other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 dollar bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of ten times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession - whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food, and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a forty dollar bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes - as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Skip The DUI And Get An Uber, Your Future Self Will Thank You

Getting a DUI in college can cost much more than the attorney fees.

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For many, college is a time to study, find what you're passionate about, make new friends, explore, and prepare yourself for the future. While choosing to do all of this, some decide to also work part-time and join various clubs and organizations.

With all this excitement and responsibility on your plate, it can be overwhelming. One of the ways students choose to release the stress is partying. While choosing to drink and have fun with your friends is completely acceptable, some students make the poor decision to drink and drive.

According to the government program, College Drinking Prevention, 1,825 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, including motor-vehicle crashes each year. While you may trust yourself or feel totally fine to drive, it's not worth risking your future by getting a DUI or worse, risking your life.

What to Do After a DUI Arrest

After being charged with a DUI, the first thing you should do is retain a qualified DUI attorney in your area. An experienced DUI lawyer can contest charges, push for less punitive options, and ultimately ensure your rights are being protected. Rhode Island DUI lawyer Stefanie Murphy notes the severity of a DUI charge:

"You can lose your driving privileges, which hinders your freedom and your ability to get to work. You'll also have to pay fines and restitution to anyone whose property or person has been damaged. It is therefore in your best interests to fight against being convicted and to keep your driver's license."

How a DUI Can Impact Your College Life

Generally speaking, the police will notify the college of a DUI. As a result, various college privileges you've earned will be stripped away, including:

1. Inability to live in on-campus housing

Many colleges have a Code of Conduct they enforce and impose their own strict penalties for students who find themselves in legal problems. One common penalty is the inability to live on campus.

2. Inability to receive necessary licenses

If you are studying to become a nurse or lawyer, prior DUI charges can affect your admission to a subsequent educational institution. A DUI charge can also inhibit you from receiving your license, or admission, to a particular field. All this being said, it may force you to change your major and career path.

3. Expulsion

Depending on the college and DUI charge, you may be asked to leave the university. Regardless if you are able to shake criminal charges, the college board may still expel you for your behavior.


How a DUI Can Impact Your Life in General

Beyond your college experience, a DUI charge can significantly affect your life both in the present and for years to come. It can affect various important factors, such as:

Your Relationships

Family ties, interpersonal relationships, and your self-esteem can be damaged. Trust and responsibility in your relationships be hindered by your actions and make take time, if possible, to restore. Subsequently, you may find yourself struggling with self-esteem and how you view yourself.

Jail/Fines

Hiring a DUI lawyer can be costly. Then, the cost of bail, restitution, and paying for damages to your own car can add up. If you are convicted and have to serve jail time, you'll be losing out on much more than money; you'll be losing time from your life.

Driving privileges

Depending on the severity of the charge, you may have your license suspended or stripped away for years. Some offenders may receive a hardship license, which enables you to drive to work, medical appointments, school, or the grocery store.

While there is nothing wrong with enjoying drinks with friends in a safe setting, the moment the scene changes to a vehicle, it's a different - and dangerous- story. Don't risk your future and your life by getting behind the wheel after drinking. You have too much to lose.

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