It is crazy to think about what can happen in four years. Four years ago, I hadn’t entered high school yet. Four years ago, my brother was three years old. Four years ago, I hadn’t discovered my love for writing.
And yet, four years ago I watched the Olympics. Four years ago, I cheered for the Fierce Five as they strove for gold. Four years ago, I watched the Equestrian events, missing my years of horseback riding. Four years ago, I felt exasperated as the 10,000 meter run took place.
In the past four years, so much has changed in my life, and yet, four years later, I will do all these things again. I intend to cheer on this year’s gymnastics team. I intend to watch the Equestrian events. I intend to feel exasperated at the 10,000 meter run.
It seems like the 2012 Olympics were yesterday, but this year’s Olympics have really got me thinking about the amount of stuff that has happened in a four year time period. I remember sitting there, four years ago, wondering how my life would be when these Olympics came -- I mean I was going to be a senior in high school! That prospect seemed so far-fetched that I laughed at its thought. High school seemed so far in the future, I never thought about me actually completing it!
I am noticing these check points in my life. Routine events, like the Olympics, come around and make me pause and think. I was watching the U.S. women’s soccer team play the other day and I couldn’t help but imagine myself watching that same game four years ago.
I find it fascinating that regardless of the state of my life, I will repeat the time-honored traditions of watching the Olympics. And in these time-honored traditions, I will reflect on my life and how it has changed.
In these past four years, I have gone to high school. I have decided to quit playing basketball and soccer. I have become the editor-in-chief of the school paper. I have actively worked on my own anxiety. I have an amazing boyfriend who I am incredibly lucky to have. I have taken the ACT. I have taken AP courses. I have had all-nighters studying for tests. I have lost friends and I have made friends. In these past four years, who I am as a person has monumentally changed. My view for the future is far from what I thought it would be.
Lexi from four years ago would never believe the amount of change in my life. Lexi from four years ago would be scared shitless about joining a new club. Lexi from four years ago would never believe she would be actually dating someone. Lexi from four years ago would be scared to hear about the risks she would eventually take. Lexi from four years ago would not want to go through the next four years.
But you know what Lexi from four years ago doesn’t know? She doesn’t know that all that bullying, all that pain, all that struggle; well, it would culminate in something beautiful. Lexi from four years ago would never have fathomed that I could be as happy or confident as I am right now.
You see, four years ago I was going into eighth grade and I was still struggling with anxiety, bullying and depression. In these past four four years, I have worked on myself. I have gone through more anxiety, bullying and depression, but now I stand on the other side of it.
So yes, as the Olympics come around and I reflect on my life, I realize the pain I went through. But I also realize, in retrospect, that all those tears and struggle would leave me happier than ever. That, my friends, is the most relieving and gratifying feeling in the entire world.
I can’t wait to see what today’s Lexi will go through before the 2020 Olympics.
