Things To Know Before Dating A Firefighter

Things To Know Before Dating A Firefighter

You'll learn how to tell the difference between different kinds of sirens.

There are just certain things you are going to want to know before dating a fireman. In my experience, I had to learn along the way. But at the end of all the calls, constantly smelling his gear in the car and sometimes even cancelled plans, I sure do love my firefighter!

SEE ALSO: 10 Reasons To Date A Country Boy

You were promised a list, so here it is:

1. If they are even within 20 minutes of the station, they will always leave you to go on a call.

No matter the circumstances, if you have a fireman on your hands, he will jet to the car and be on his way.

SEE ALSO: What It's Like To Date A Police Officer

2. Meeting nights are not something you try and fight with them about. They are going to leave and you do not have to like it because it wasn't up to you anyway.

I have learned that these nights are not optional. Yes, other people miss them, but not my firefighter.

3. No matter where you are or what you're doing the minute they hear a firetrucks horn, they're looking for it and hoping they're not missing anything good.

You will learn the lingo. Structures, fully involved (the good stuff) smoke alarms, cat in a tree (ehh I mean they are fireman...soooo still good stuff).

4. They know the exact difference between an ambulance, cop, and, of course, a fire truck siren.

Which means that you will have to learn, too.

5. You’ll have to accept that when he has to do hall rental cleanup, you're going with to help.

You fold the chairs and he stacks them. And Im talking at like 12 a.m.,1 a.m.

6. When you come around the firehouse, there will be jokes made and they'll mess with him about you or even you about him.

Honestly it's a giant bromance going on and they prey on this kinda stuff.

7. At first, you won't really have a name to the fire guys. Until you're around long enough.

You'll just be Boyfriend's name's girlfriend.

8. The fire pager goes where he goes.

Next to the bed, in the car, next to your bed, your living room, EVERYWHERE. And even if it's not the real pager, it's the dog app that I can never remember the name of so dog app it is. (Say that really fast to get the full effect).

9. They will probably wear their station shirt/apparel at least 4-5 days a week.

AT LEAST.

10. If you've got a good one, you're always put first. The list will always go "You, the firehouse, me, everyone else."

But secretly they always want to put the firehouse first.

11. You will learn and know more stations, trucks, members, and chiefs than you will ever want to admit.

Unbelievably true.

12. When you're driving and you see a fire station, you'll have to look at it.

If its an amazing building, you'll have to remember the name. And then you'll have to tell him about it. And then you've just proved number 11 correct. Add it to your list.

13. Never make plans while he's on a call. You can never know when he'll be back.

Even if the calls are short, they could stay at least another hour washing the trucks and being boys, of course.

14. In case you didn't understand the severity of the first one, if you are on the phone and you hear the pager go off in the background, just tell him you love him and hang up.

Because if you don't, he will. "Got a call, Love you, bye." Mid-sentence is always what you want to hear.

15. You'll never want to watch "Ladder 49" again.

You will cry like a baby and then want to make him quit.

16. Outside of the stations, fireman tend to forget that fire isn't a toy and it's pretty damn hot.

*Playing with the lighter fluid or burning things on the stove*
"No it's alright, I'm a firefighter."

17. You will start your own station shirt collection.

From NYFD memorial shirts, a station from where you're vacationing even acquired old shirts of his, you will have started your own pile of station shirts.

18. You can't get angry or upset when he is unavailable because he's going to go to the firehouse for the fifth time that week, or if there's another fire prevention thing to do.

You can't be mad because he's doing what he loves and also because a man in a uniform isn't too shabby.

There are a lot more things to know before dating a fireman, but the rest you'll just have to learn along the way.

SEE ALSO: 5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With Anxiety

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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I'm An Introvert, And Yes, I Love It

There are times when my thoughts are my best company.

In a previous article, I briefly mentioned believing the distinction between introvert and extrovert to be too simplistic. I still have my doubts regarding this introvert versus extrovert binary. Regardless, I am usually willing to admit I fall way further to the introverted end of the spectrum, though at times I want to deny this. It makes sense, my occasional denial. Extroverts seem to have all the fun. They exude confidence. Meeting new people doesn’t jump-start their fight-or-flight instincts and cause them to want to flee into the abyss.

However, I am now attempting to embrace, rejoice in, and love my introverted state of being.

From personal experience, I have found being introverted actually carries benefits. There is something really awesome about savoring the time you have by yourself because ultimately every person will face times in which they are their only company. For most of my life, I have very much enjoyed hanging out with myself.

At the risk of sounding arrogant, I actually find myself quite amusing — I can keep myself entertained with my own thoughts for hours. The recognition of this fact has led to a great jump in my self-confidence. I can acknowledge I am actually quite funny, intelligent, and thoughtful even if many of my jokes, thoughts, and witty observations never leave the confines of my own mind.

Yet, contrary to what might be frequently assumed about introverts, I do not just thrive in complete solitude. As a matter of fact, being in a crowd is quite a thrilling experience largely because I am a seasoned people-watcher. I may not have the most words to say in a social situation, but I sure will have a lot of thoughts going through my head.

For example, I have found working in the library is not always the most efficient study method as I sometimes get distracted observing the nuances of people’s interactions as if I were some kind of ethnographer of millennial college students.

Even when I am feeling my most vibrant and outgoing, when I am letting go and dancing without shame at a party, I have a million of observations I am scribing in my head as if I were simultaneously journaling.

As a final benefit I will highlight, when you are introverted, you can also be sure the people in your life are really special. Personally, I know I am rarely myself when I first meet people, and I often times find myself quite nervous, quiet, and awkward. It’s ridiculous, really.

Here I am, minoring in English, writing weekly articles, and producing countless papers per quarter and yet I have difficulty putting a coherent sentence together when speaking to a new person. I am even concerned my shyness makes me come across as rude, snobby, or boring.

I have been working on being less nervous in new social settings and I do think I have improved in becoming more outgoing and socially confident. Even still, all of my friends who were patient enough to stick with me and get to know me through my awkward times I understand are amazing people worth keeping in my life.

I am sure it is just as great being more extroverted. Indeed, I am in awe of those people who can easily carry on with strangers without their hearts turning into bass drums.

What is important, I believe, is that we embrace who we are. No matter if you are outgoing or shy, easy to talk to or hopelessly awkward, you add to the world and to your own self. I have accepted this and, as a result, I have learned to love and enjoy my introverted self.

Cover Image Credit: Linnea Shapter

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The Media's Manipulation Of Love And Sex Is Running Our Lives

It's our experiences and relationships that will determine who we become.

Some of our very first memories are of the media. One of my earliest memories is watching television as a toddler and getting so excited for "Teletubbies" or "Barney" to come on. This is true probably more so nowadays than when I was a child, but the media heavily influences our perception of the world from the moment we are born.

Ever since I was young, I've been a fan of horror movies. You can name a horror movie and chances are I've seen it or heard of it. For whatever reason, in American culture and in my household, my parents never had a problem with me watching Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees terrorizing teenagers, mostly when said teenagers were having sex.

That would be the moment when my parents wanted me to turn off the television and go do something else. Something more innocent. Something a child should be doing.

Why though? Why was it acceptable for me to watch Drew Barrymore literally get gutted in the beginning of "Scream" in elementary school, but the minute sex is involved in any capacity, that's crossing the line. I'm not saying a seven-year-old should be witnessing a gruesome murder either, but I can't help but question the hypocrisy.

Instead of my parents talking to me about sex or allowing for safe, open discussions about it, it was simply ignored in my house growing up. Everything I knew was from movies and the media.

While I was growing up in high school and my first few years of college, I refused to accept the fact that I was gay. This is partly my fault as well, for not willing to live my life earlier. Since I was so frustrated with who I was and didn't want to come to terms with it, I wasted several years where I could have been learning about an important aspect of life. Until my 21st birthday, I was essentially living in my own head.

The truth is that we have the power to control how much the media influences our thoughts and ideas. For some reason, however, we choose to let it win. Just take a look at the 2016 election. From watching the news to reading inaccurate articles on Facebook, peoples' thoughts were influenced from all directions.

Once I turned 21, I started to allow myself to feel what I was feeling. It took patience. It took a lot of willpower and strength to go on dates with guys or be intimate with guys because I grew up in a town where that was wrong and different.

Because everything was new to me, my experiences varied on many scales. I practically started out as a helpless virgin. There were instances where guys were teaching me how to kiss because I apparently wasn't kissing properly.

I spent a year or so meeting a lot of different guys. Some were one night stands. Some were flings. Some of them were very important to me and who I needed to meet at that time in my life.

Because I was still learning and growing, I made mistakes. We all do. I was selfish. I was stupid. I hurt people. I hurt myself. I was degrading myself. I was seeking all this validation from other people when all I truly needed was to have validation within myself.

It took me a few years to really understand this journey I decided to take myself on, but I'm so fortunate that I did. I could have continued to try and live a life that wasn't for me and I would have been miserable for the rest of my life.

Upon meeting all these guys and having some deep connections with them that I never knew I could have, I learned a lot about the idea of love and sex and its place in our society. The media loves to play off of our emotions on love and sex because it's where some of our most vulnerable feelings come into play. It's easy to take advantage of that.

I've learned that there are going to be some people in your life that stay. Some of them will fade away. Some of them won't matter. Some of them will stick in the back of your head forever, even if you don't want them to. Some of them will still bring a smile to your face years later when you think about your memories with them.

In order to better understand sex, love, and relationships, just like anything else in the world, you have to go out and experience it. We're living in a transitional time not only in the United States, but in the history of civilization. We're finally beginning to question what we're being fed and that's scary for a system that's been succeeding for so long in feeding us lies and telling us what we want to hear.

Keep questioning. Keep an open mind. Most importantly, keep living. When we're old, it's not the money that's really going to matter. It's our experiences and relationships that will determine who we become.

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