5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With An Anxiety Disorder

5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With An Anxiety Disorder

Here are some things to consider to save you and your future parter the heartbreak.
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I have lost relationships to anxiety, and it's one of the worst things I've ever experienced. It makes you feel like you aren't good enough to experience happiness because your brain doesn't work right. I wished someone would've told the people in my past that living with anxiety is a constant struggle, and that I am trying just as hard as I can. So before starting a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder, please consider the following.

1. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to help, and you have to accept that.

People with anxiety disorders are often prone to panic attacks (fits of panic that are accompanied by hyperventilation, shaking, racing heartbeat, and sweating), and most of the time there is nothing you can do to help. Don't let this frustrate you. You just need to hold them and try to help them breathe while letting them know you're there.

2. Manic depressive tendencies can be tough to deal with.

Manic depression is incredibly common amongst people with anxiety disorders. Your future partner might go through spells where they talk fast, have increased amounts of energy, and have scattered thought, and then snap into a state of depression that is accompanied by increased amounts of sleep, lack of motivation to complete even the simplest tasks, and outbursts of emotion (often fits of crying and self-loathing). This can be exhausting for both you and your partner.

3. You need to be their emotional support 24/7.

Your future partner might be emotionally unstable and anxious most of the time. Sometimes they can be completely fine one minute, then have a random panic attack moments later. You need to be available at all times to be their support and let them talk. There will be times when you're working or don't have cell service, but you should always check on them as soon as you can. Often it's difficult to ask someone for help or support, because they feel as though they're a bother. This can cause more anxiety. Try your best to let them know often that you're there for them and they can ask you for help anytime.

4. You CANNOT get angry. It isn't their fault.

Anxiety cannot be controlled by the individual. There is no "cure." Yes, there is medication, but that doesn't completely eradicate the anxiety attacks and manic depression. If your future partner has an anxiety attack and you're late for something, you cannot blame them. They already feel awful enough about being an inconvenience, and they don't need you to be angry and make it worse.

5. You have to love them unconditionally, anxiety and all.

I am not my anxiety, but we are a package deal. I will always have anxiety, and if you cannot accept that or you aren't willing to deal with it, move along. You cannot "fix" me. You cannot "make me better." I'm not a fixer upper. I'm the way I am and there's nothing you or I can do to change that. Please, for your sake and theirs, decide if you can accept that before you become emotionally invested just to later decide that we're too much to handle.

Cover Image Credit: Violet Alexandria

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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