5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With An Anxiety Disorder

5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With An Anxiety Disorder

Here are some things to consider to save you and your future parter the heartbreak.
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I have lost relationships to anxiety, and it's one of the worst things I've ever experienced. It makes you feel like you aren't good enough to experience happiness because your brain doesn't work right. I wished someone would've told the people in my past that living with anxiety is a constant struggle, and that I am trying just as hard as I can. So before starting a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder, please consider the following.

1. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to help, and you have to accept that.

People with anxiety disorders are often prone to panic attacks (fits of panic that are accompanied by hyperventilation, shaking, racing heartbeat, and sweating), and most of the time there is nothing you can do to help. Don't let this frustrate you. You just need to hold them and try to help them breathe while letting them know you're there.

2. Manic depressive tendencies can be tough to deal with.

Manic depression is incredibly common amongst people with anxiety disorders. Your future partner might go through spells where they talk fast, have increased amounts of energy, and have scattered thought, and then snap into a state of depression that is accompanied by increased amounts of sleep, lack of motivation to complete even the simplest tasks, and outbursts of emotion (often fits of crying and self-loathing). This can be exhausting for both you and your partner.

3. You need to be their emotional support 24/7.

Your future partner might be emotionally unstable and anxious most of the time. Sometimes they can be completely fine one minute, then have a random panic attack moments later. You need to be available at all times to be their support and let them talk. There will be times when you're working or don't have cell service, but you should always check on them as soon as you can. Often it's difficult to ask someone for help or support, because they feel as though they're a bother. This can cause more anxiety. Try your best to let them know often that you're there for them and they can ask you for help anytime.

4. You CANNOT get angry. It isn't their fault.

Anxiety cannot be controlled by the individual. There is no "cure." Yes, there is medication, but that doesn't completely eradicate the anxiety attacks and manic depression. If your future partner has an anxiety attack and you're late for something, you cannot blame them. They already feel awful enough about being an inconvenience, and they don't need you to be angry and make it worse.

5. You have to love them unconditionally, anxiety and all.

I am not my anxiety, but we are a package deal. I will always have anxiety, and if you cannot accept that or you aren't willing to deal with it, move along. You cannot "fix" me. You cannot "make me better." I'm not a fixer upper. I'm the way I am and there's nothing you or I can do to change that. Please, for your sake and theirs, decide if you can accept that before you become emotionally invested just to later decide that we're too much to handle.

Cover Image Credit: Violet Alexandria

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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