5 Things To Know Before Dating Someone With An Anxiety Disorder

I have lost relationships to anxiety, and it's one of the worst things I've ever experienced. It makes you feel like you aren't good enough to experience happiness because your brain doesn't work right. I wished someone would've told the people in my past that living with anxiety is a constant struggle, and that I am trying just as hard as I can. So before starting a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder, please consider the following.

1. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to help, and you have to accept that.

People with anxiety disorders are often prone to panic attacks (fits of panic that are accompanied by hyperventilation, shaking, racing heartbeat, and sweating), and most of the time there is nothing you can do to help. Don't let this frustrate you. You just need to hold them and try to help them breathe while letting them know you're there.

2. Manic depressive tendencies can be tough to deal with.

Manic depression is incredibly common amongst people with anxiety disorders. Your future partner might go through spells where they talk fast, have increased amounts of energy, and have scattered thought, and then snap into a state of depression that is accompanied by increased amounts of sleep, lack of motivation to complete even the simplest tasks, and outbursts of emotion (often fits of crying and self-loathing). This can be exhausting for both you and your partner.

3. You need to be their emotional support 24/7.

Your future partner might be emotionally unstable and anxious most of the time. Sometimes they can be completely fine one minute, then have a random panic attack moments later. You need to be available at all times to be their support and let them talk. There will be times when you're working or don't have cell service, but you should always check on them as soon as you can. Often it's difficult to ask someone for help or support, because they feel as though they're a bother. This can cause more anxiety. Try your best to let them know often that you're there for them and they can ask you for help anytime.

4. You CANNOT get angry. It isn't their fault.

Anxiety cannot be controlled by the individual. There is no "cure." Yes, there is medication, but that doesn't completely eradicate the anxiety attacks and manic depression. If your future partner has an anxiety attack and you're late for something, you cannot blame them. They already feel awful enough about being an inconvenience, and they don't need you to be angry and make it worse.

5. You have to love them unconditionally, anxiety and all.

I am not my anxiety, but we are a package deal. I will always have anxiety, and if you cannot accept that or you aren't willing to deal with it, move along. You cannot "fix" me. You cannot "make me better." I'm not a fixer upper. I'm the way I am and there's nothing you or I can do to change that. Please, for your sake and theirs, decide if you can accept that before you become emotionally invested just to later decide that we're too much to handle.