What It's Like To Date A Police Officer

What It's Like To Date A Police Officer

Because everyone loves a man in uniform
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My boyfriend of 5 years became a police officer about 6 months ago. Before that, he had been a volunteer firefighter for as long as we'd been together. The things I'm about to talk about will not make sense or be understood by girls/women who do not have a significant other in law enforcement. Though some of these things likely apply to men of other professions, most of them are especially applicable to men in the police force. Here are some of the pros and cons of dating a man in law enforcement, as requested by my very own policeman.

1. Everyone loves a man in uniform.

This is just the truth. Police officers, firefighters, soldiers, whatever. There's just something about a man with a little authority. A man in uniform is one of the biggest turn-ons for us women. There's something sexy about your man out there protecting people, even if it means a little time spent away from you. Also, we like our men in uniform because it means they know how to follow orders. (I'm kidding...kind of)

2. Plans are never set in stone.

It doesn't matter if it's Valentine's Day or your birthday or a special date night. No plans are ever set in stone. You never know when your man is going to get called away to help out at work. You can be on the way to go eat dinner with your man and he'll have to cancel because of work. Unfortunately, this is usually unavoidable. I know it sucks, but you'll feel selfish if you complain. I promise. Besides, I'm sure he'd rather be with you than going to work anyway.

3. You'll always feel safe.

This is one of the biggest perks of dating a police officer. When you hear a strange noise late at night, you can send your man to check it out. It is his job, after all. You will never feel safer than you will when you're with a police officer. Though they are not invincible, they're about the closest thing to it that I've been able to find!

4. Sometimes, work comes home with them.

You have to realize that the job they're doing is not an easy one. They deal with things every day that no person should ever have to deal with. They deal with criminals, child abusers, crazy people, and everyone else that society refuses to deal with. They put their lives on the line every single day. Sometimes, it's hard for them to leave all of these things at work. If they come home sad or mad or tired, you should just let them know that you are there for them if they feel like talking. And if they don't feel like talking about it, be there to sit quietly with them until they feel better. The most crucial part of this is to be understanding. You never know what they went through that day or what they saw.

5. You will learn all of the codes.

You've probably listened to the scanner so much that you feel like you could get on one of those radios and communicate on your own. You've learned what all the codes mean. You've probably even learned the names of the dispatchers and can tell their voices apart. When your significant other is at work, I bet you sit there and listen to the scanner, waiting to hear their voice. This is just one of the things that comes with the territory. Who knows? Maybe one day all this knowledge will prove to be very useful to you.

6. They don't always get holidays off of work.

Safety takes no holiday. Safety is something that law enforcement officers provide 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. They don't always get holidays off to spend time with their families or significant others. This may mean that they won't be home to celebrate Christmas morning or Thanksgiving or New Year's Eve. You both would prefer them to be at home with you, but duty calls.

7. You'll always be worried about him.

Once again, law enforcement officers don't have an easy job. These days, being a cop is especially dangerous. It hurts to think about it, but there are people out there who would hurt your police officer if given the chance. It is never easy to watch them leave to go to work. You'll get worried when they don't text you back during the day, even though you know in the back of your mind that they're just busy. You'll be worried when they don't get off work and come home right on time, but they probably just got hung up doing something. You'll be worried about everything. This is another thing that comes with the territory. You just have to hope and pray that your man knows what he's doing and that he's going to protect himself while he's protecting others. The only thing you can do is tell him you love him every chance you get.

8. You'll make lots of "cop" friends.

As your significant other makes friends at work, they'll also become your friends. You'll get to know them and their wives or girlfriends, and it'll make you feel like you're a part of the force, too. The good part about this is that you know they're good guys. And if they pull you over someday, maybe you'll even be able to talk yourself out of getting a ticket. It's worth a shot, anyway.

There are lots of good things about dating a police officer. There are a few bad things, too. The good things are great. The bad things are unavoidable. However, how great is it to know that the person you love is so selfless that they willingly put their life on the line for people they don't even know? Though it sucks sometimes, the only thing you can do is be proud of them and let them know how much you love them. To my own deputy sheriff, I'm proud of you and I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Saying You "Don't Take Political Stances" IS A Political Stance

All you're doing by saying this is revealing your privilege to not care politically, and here's why that's a problem.

bethkrat
bethkrat
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I'm sure all of us know at least one person who refuses to engage in political discussions - sure, you can make the argument that there is a time and a place to bring up the political happenings of our world today, but you can't possibly ignore it all the time. You bring up the last ridiculous tweet our president sent or you try to discuss your feelings on the new reproductive regulation bills that are rising throughout the states, and they find any excuse to dip out as quickly as possible. They say I don't talk about politics, or I'm apolitical. Well everyone, I'm here to tell you why that's complete bullsh*t.

Many people don't have the luxury and privilege of ignoring the political climate and sitting complacent while terrible things happen in our country. So many issues remain a constant battle for so many, be it the systematic racism that persists in nearly every aspect of our society, the fact that Flint still doesn't have clean water, the thousands of children that have been killed due to gun violence, those drowning in debt from unreasonable medical bills, kids fighting for their rights as citizens while their families are deported and separated from them... you get the point. So many people have to fight every single day because they don't have any other choice. If you have the ability to say that you just don't want to have anything to do with politics, it's because you aren't affected by any failing systems. You have a privilege and it is important to recognize it.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

We recognize that bad people exist in this world, and we recognize that they bring forth the systems that fail so many people every single day, but what is even more important to recognize are the silent majority - the people who, by engaging in neutrality, enable and purvey the side of the oppressors by doing nothing for their brothers and sisters on the front lines.

Maybe we think being neutral and not causing conflict is supposed to be about peacekeeping and in some way benefits the political discussion if we don't try to argue. But if we don't call out those who purvey failing systems, even if it's our best friend who says something homophobic, even if it's our representatives who support bills like the abortion ban in Alabama, even if it's our president who denies the fact that climate change is killing our planet faster than we can hope to reverse it, do we not, in essence, by all accounts of technicality side with those pushing the issues forward? If we let our best friend get away with saying something homophobic, will he ever start to change his ways, or will he ever be forced to realize that what he's said isn't something that we can just brush aside? If we let our representatives get away with ratifying abortion bans, how far will the laws go until women have no safe and reasonable control over their own bodily decisions? If we let our president continue to deny climate change, will we not lose our ability to live on this planet by choosing to do nothing?

We cannot pander to people who think that being neutral in times of injustice is a reasonable stance to take. We cannot have sympathy for people who decide they don't want to care about the political climate we're in today. Your attempts at avoiding conflict only make the conflict worse - your silence in this aspect is deafening. You've given ammunition for the oppressors who take your silence and apathy and continue to carry forth their oppression. If you want to be a good person, you need to suck it up and take a stand, or else nothing is going to change. We need to raise the voices of those who struggle to be heard by giving them the support they need to succeed against the opposition.

With all this in mind, just remember for the next time someone tells you that they're apolitical: you know exactly which side they're on.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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