Confession: I Am a Bandwagon Panthers Fan
Start writing a post

Confession: I Am a Bandwagon Panthers Fan

Confession: I Am a Bandwagon Panthers Fan
1110 AM WBT Charlotte's News Talk

I am a bandwagon Panthers fan. I've watched a grand total of three Panthers games from start to finish in my entire life. The only players I know of are Cam Newton, Luke Kuechly and Josh Norman. I know the head coach is Ron Rivera, but only because I researched it for a previous article. The only piece of Panthers "gear" I own is a pennant I got when I first moved to North Carolina in 7th grade. And even then I only bought it because I thought it looked cool. Yet when Carolina beat Green Bay thus making them 8 and 0, I started rooting for them.

In the eyes of most die-hard Panthers fans, these facts make me worse than Brutus, Judas, and Adolf Hitler combined. "How dare you ride the coattails of our success," some might say. Others may suggest I kill myself, since I clearly have no real devotion to "their" team. Whilst it's rather obvious these proclamations are silly, my job today isn't to prove that. Instead, I am making a bolder claim.

There is nothing wrong with being a bandwagon Panthers fan. Especially if you live in the Carolinas.

I can feel the coffee being spit in my face. "What?" die-hard Panthers fans are likely screaming. "How can you advocate a sin worse than pride?" Easy.

I believe all human behaviors and interactions stem from our tribal past. Everything from racism to homosexuality can be attributed to behaviors and attitudes learned by our great, great, great ancestors. Football is no different. While we may live in one nation as opposed to hundreds of tribes, football allows us to tap into that tribal spirit. Just replace hundreds of thousands of tribes with 30 tribes.

Each week, the mightiest warriors from each tribe face off in physical sport to determine who the dominant tribe is in the confederacy (the NFL). The lesser members of each tribe (the fans) then get to assert their dominance to the rest of the confederacy. Which in this modern era, means calling the others, "Cardinals loving pussy ass bitches".

If we were to take this model and throw it back to the 3.2 million years humans were actually organized into tribes, the followers of the lesser tribes probably would have been enslaved or slaughtered by the more dominant tribes. In other words, if you were a Titans, Browns, or Chargers fan, you would be forced to serve a Panthers, Cardinals or Bengals fan while they screw your girlfriend. Or be killed. Whichever you find worse.

Would you really want to watch a Cardinals fan mate with your lady while you serve him fresh cooked sabre-tooth tiger? Hell no. So you jump ship, start supporting the Panthers, and screw that Cardinal fan's girlfriend while he serves you a nice woolly mammoth steak. It's not called bandwagoning, it's called adapting. And those who survive are those who adapt.

Keep pounding.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

TikTok Made Me Buy It: Flawless's Skincare Fridge

I bought and tested one of TikTok's popular products so you don't have to.


I spend a lot of time on TikTok and I never know whether the products I see are worth it or not, especially when I'm looking at the price. For Christmas, my aunt got me a gift card to Ulta. I didn't know what to buy. I have way too many palettes and lipsticks. I have my essentials. What else could I need? Then it hit me that I saw a lot of people these past few months showing off their skincare fridges. So, the second I thought of it I went on the Ulta app and bought it. So, here are my thoughts.

Keep Reading... Show less

37 Cute And Unique Pinterest Board Titles

Let's be real, the hardest part about Pinterest is thinking of a cute title for your board.


I don't know about anyone else but I have recently become re-obsessed with Pinterest. Like, I am spending a stupid amount of time on Pinterest daily now. While I have been binging Pinterest I have found that I love making cute and aesthetic boards but it is SO hard to come up with a name to match it. So, I scoured the internet and my brain for you. Happy pinning!

Keep Reading... Show less

This Is What Type Of Person You Are Based On Your Favorite Cereal

Your cereal preference reveals more than you think.

Photo by Nyana Stoica on Unsplash

Whether you eat cereal for breakfast or a late-night snack, you probably have a favorite. Little did you know that what you prefer says a lot about your personality.

Keep Reading... Show less
Alexis Hoffman

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we all know that cutting out social interaction has taken its toll.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked Instagram How 2020 Was, And Maybe It Wasn't The Worst Year Ever

2020 is a year to remember but it's not as bad as we made it out to be.


It's finally 2021 and we're honestly all just happy that 2020 is over. I decided to ask my Instagram followers how they felt about 2020 and the results were a little more mixed up than expected.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ever since I watched "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I've been a major Matthew McConaughey fan. I've seen most of his movies, and I definitely got way too excited when he finally made an Instagram! So when he announced he would be releasing a memoir titled "Greenlights," I knew I absolutely had to get my hands on this book. And so did the rest of the world, as the book began to flood social media.

Truthfully, I would much rather read a fiction book and dive into another world than read a nonfiction book - even if it is one of my favorite celebrities. But I had a feeling this book wouldn't disappoint or bore.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Armie Hammer Scandal Discourse Is Kink Shaming And Harming Actual Victims

The rumors surrounding Armie Hammer has resulted in some very toxic and harmful discourse.


Sex is something that occupies a very significant place in our lives. Even asexual people can have an active sex life. With the various types of people that comprise this world, it obviously results in various sexual interests. And unconventional people can engage in some pretty unconventional sex practices. Even the most conventional people on the surface might surprise us with their sexual fantasies.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments