Congratulations, you've somehow found yourself roped into the college scene of March Madness. Your cute movie nights with your best guy friends turn into sweaty boys in beer-smelling dorm rooms, screaming cheers and boos loud enough to hear four floors down. You know nothing about the tournament, but nevertheless, all anyone can ever talk about are brackets, the players, or coaching staffs. Efforts to talk about anything else during the game are continually ignored.

What is there to do? Do you leave and (god forbid) start your essay due next week? Or do you stay and pull out the occasional awkward cheer and smile, oblivious to what the definition of a bracket even is?

You don't do either. You stay there and own your sh*t like the girl your momma raised you to be. Because after reading this article, you'll probably be as educated (if not more) than any guy sporting a queso-stained jersey.

Introducing: A College Girl's 101 Guide to March Madness

Alright Ladies, here we go.

The tournament this year, started on March 17th. Which means you girl, are coming into this a week late. But not to worry, as fellow women, it's our job to get you ladies up to speed.

March Madness, (you may hear people calling it "The Big Dance"), is the national tournament of 64 NCAA (men's college basketball) teams. In 1985, the tournament expanded from 53 teams to 64 teams (that's right, you're gonna be pulling out the history facts on those boys).

To find out who is still in the tournament, you can google "March Madness" and will automatically receive the standings of current teams as well as which seeds previously won which round. The Final Four round and National Championship Game this year will be hosted in Houston, TX at Rice University and University of Houston.

How the tournament works:

Regions: All 64 teams play in their respective regional tournaments:

1. West
2. Midwest
3. East
4. South
The Final Four is composed of one team from each region.

Seeds: Each region has #1-#16 seeds. The tournament starts with the #1 seeds playing the #16 seeds, the #2's playing the #15's, #3's vs #14's, #4's vs #13's, etc.

Brackets: There are 6 rounds. As teams advance past the first two, the winners continue to advance into different brackets:

3rd round: Sweet Sixteen (Top 16 teams) Thursday, March 24th
4th round: Elite Eight (Top 8 teams) Saturday, March 26th- Sunday, March 27th
5th round: Final Four (Top 4 teams) Saturday, April 2nd
6th round: The National Championship (Final 2 teams)Monday April 4th

Make sense now? Good job girl; McDreamy is proud of you.

Your Friends' Brackets:

So all the basics you already knew, but that doesn't help you figure out how your friends pick their teams.

The easy way out is relying on luck. Which, there is always a good chunk of in any tournament. There are countless stories of the dorm-bracket winner getting her cash solely because she picked her favorite colors and mascots (or for those who like their research- who had the hottest point-guard).

But you're not that girl. You're better than that. You want strong, solid facts. Stuff to impress the most elite March Madness-er with.

Crash Course on Brackets:

Tiebreaker: Usually, brackets include your guess of the final game's total points. Since 1985, the average end score of the Championship game has been 77-69 so pick 146.

Final:If you want to play it safe with no upsets in your bracket (meaning that the team projected to win loses the game), your final 8 should look like this:

- Three #1 seeds
- Two #2 seeds
- One #3 seed
- One #4 seed
- One #6 seed

Having the entire tournament end with a #1 seed beating a #2

The Stats:

Again, that final bracket is playing the tournament completely safe. But if you want the nitty-gritty facts behind why they are what they are, keep reading.

#1 vs #16: Since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985, a #16th seed has never, not once, won a game against a #1. #1 seeds usually win 80% of games and have won 17 out of 28 championship titles since '85. Which is why put down three (not four) in your final 8 bracket.

#2 vs #15: Usually #2 seeds win 3/4s of the second and third rounds. They do great in the beginning but only win 40% of the last three rounds. As for the #15 seeds, they have only won 6 games in total in all tournaments since '85.

#3 vs #14, #4 vs #13: Your #3's have a better shot than your #4's. Pick at least one, but not more than two #3's to advance one round. That's about it.

#5 vs #12, #6 vs #11: As for your #5's and #6's, have one of each in the Sweet 16 but only choose one to advance. While both #11's and #12's win over 30% of opening games, #11 seeds somehow do much better. Five different #11 seeds have made it to the 3rd round, and three of which have made it to the Final Four. Only one #12 seed has made three wins in the total tournament.

#7 vs #10, #8 vs #9: The #10 seeds have never made it past the fourth round. As for your #8 and #9's, usually the Big Dance's magic juju favors the #8th.

That's it:

With your newfound knowledge in hand, steal a jersey, brag about your extensive knowledge at lunch, and make sure to remember these tips next time so you can bask in the glory of your winnings.