Ever wonder why college seniors do a nervous laugh each time you ask them about the future? Here are ten things we think about almost every time you do.
1. Jesus, do I have enough credits?
You thought this year would never come, but here you are, trying to pick classes that you actually need like it's an Olympic sport. Even if you prepared for this moment all four years (brava) you still have an anxiety-filled second where you wonder: can I do all of this in one year? You still have your job/internship, friends, significant others, extra-curricular activities, and sanity to worry aboutābut I guess sanity will have to wait. Not only because your advisor said to suck it up, but also because you want to start your life already.
2. Wait, I have to take those classes?
In the years prior, you've said things like, "Oh, I don't have to take that class yet, thank God" and "LOL, that's a problem for future me." Well, news flash: It's future you and you're pissed. You procrastinated all of the 400-levels as long as possible and now you're in the big leagues, kid. But hey! It's fine! You're fine! Everything is fine! Godspeed. Seriously.
3. This internship will be the death of me
It's super hard to get a job straight out of college now. Every advisor out there is terrifying the hell out of you because now you have to have at least two years of experience in a field that you're semi-sure about so you can try to have a crappy apartment in a sketchy part of town by the time you start your adult life. So, you have to deal with the trials of having an internship before you graduate, A.K.A dealing with unfair pay and crazy bosses, while trying to balance school and life. The devil works hard, but Millennials work harder.
4. Ugh, I just want to have funĀ
It's the last year where acting like a functioning alcoholic is somewhat socially acceptableāit's time to use up all those points, baby. I'm not promoting unsafe drinking at all (hydrate you 21 and over hooligans and call an uber) because drinking isn't even what it's all about. It's about hanging out with all of your friends before they live across the country. It's about going to your last frat party because if you go after college it's just sad. It's about making this last year memorable, it's an end of an era. And it's also the best way to release steam and senioritis. The issue is, how do you have time or motivation?
5. ...But Netflix and Wine
Here's the thing about partying, I'm pretty burnt out. I don't know about you but I just want sleepāwhich makes all the "I have to celebrate the end of an era" mentality very conflicting. I mean, I love my friends to death and I'm going to miss them but partying takes a lot of energy. Half the time after I finish a paper I just want to relax with wine and binge watch "Stranger Things" until I pass out. You see the problem?
6. For the love of God, how do you do taxes?
You know all the memes complaining about how my generation knows how to do theorems and not taxes? Well, those jokes actually have merit to them. Speaking as a full-fledged millennial: How do you even adult though? I know the basicsāI know how to survive, I'm not a heathen. However, how am I expected to be an adult in a year if I don't know how to do my own taxes? How do I budget correctly? How do I apartment hunt? How do I not have an anxiety attack while writing this? Being an adult is terrifying and half my age group is so unprepared (if you are prepared, SOS).
7. If you bring up money one more time I will combust
Just thinking about student loans makes me nauseous to my core. I'm planning on moving to New York City which makes me even more nauseous because it's dreadfully expensive. But want to know what makes me actually regurgitate? BEING ASKED ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO PAY FOR ALL OF IT. Trust me, random lady at the nail salon scolding me about living in New York, I'm painfully aware I'm going to be starting out at a low paying job. My pulse quickens thinking about rent, bills, and paying for everything else that makes me a human. So why don't you mind your own business? Strangers pry more than family does and it's the worst because it's not okay to tell them to shut up. I'm not the only senior who is mega-stressed about money and we are all in different situations so please, *shhh*.
8. Relationship status: FML
Senior year is when it starts to get real for couples. If you want to date after, then you have to have a lot of serious conversationsāyikes. Deep talks that involve deciding whether or not you want to move to where the other person is moving or if you want to try long distance. Both options seem kinda serious for young adults to decide. Especially for young adults who are still trying to figure themselves out. If you're single and want to date someone, then you're struggling with the idea that it's going to be temporary because you're graduating in a year. Some couples are completely here for it, others are kind of terrified. SO for all of you invasive family members at Thanksgiving, stop asking what couples are going to do after graduation. They're stressed enough.
9. No, Aunt Kathy, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM DOING AFTER GRADUATION
We are so young. I think people forget about that. We still have so much life to live, so many different opportunities and experiences to explore. It's normal for people in their early twenties to be lost. Society needs to recognize that and not make young adults even more stressed than they already are. I know what I'm going to do after graduation, but that makes me lucky, not the norm. It's scary to think about how we should already know what the rest of our professional lives are going to look like by the end of the school year. We clearly hate thinking about it, so what makes you think we want to talk about it, aunt Kathy?
10. This isn't my last year, it's your last year...shut up
Me too, Phoebe, me too
In all honesty, most seniors are trying to avoid the fact that a year from now we are going to be out in the real world. Stop bringing up topics that remind us of how stressed we are and let us cherish our last year at college while we can, okay?
Seniors have valid reasons to be stressed. Graduating is exciting, but also paralyzing to think about. So please, refrain from asking us about our job that's lined up for next June. We probably don't have one and you just caused a twenty-two-year-old to seethe.
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