10 Ways To Dramatically Improve Your Frat Party

10 Ways To Dramatically Improve Your Frat Party

This will change your life (or just your party).
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College is a journey. You move to a brand new place, meet all new people, and find out who you REALLY are, just like in "Zoey 101" before real life Zoey got pregnant (be safe kids, was that even college or some crazy rich kid high school?). And on this journey, you may at one time or another, or maybe even every weekend, find yourself in a dark basement surrounded by 100 other sweaty 19-year-olds trying to push to the front of the bar manned by another sweaty 19-year-old. And if you're really lucky, you won't even have to go to the bar because someone will bring a drink TO YOU in the form of it being spilled on your brand new shoes.

This magical land of drawn curtains and male dominated beer games is known in some countries as "frat party," a place where nice college girls and smart college guys get together to awkwardly stand on opposite ends of the room until they're drunk enough to actually speak words to each other besides, "Do you have a text?" But don't get me wrong, frat parties can be a lot of fun. There's just a couple of things they could do better.

If you, or a friend, or especially your frat, happen to be throwing a party anytime soon, here are some things that will dramatically improve it.

1. Air conditioning.

I don't know who thought it would be a good idea to stick a bunch of teenagers in a basement, try and get them to dance, and then not have AC, but let me tell you, I hate them. Everyone just gets gross and sweaty, and as surprising as it may be, this is not the optimal condition for any type of party. This would be for three main reasons:

  1. Nobody looks good all sweaty. No one. I don't care how hot you are in the daytime, you are not Edward Cullen, and it is not a "glisten." Girls work hard to look good for parties, and then we get there and five minutes in we look like we just got out of a pool filled with sweat.
  2. I would rather go outside and be freezing than stay inside and literally die. Therefore, I won't be inside to flirt with you. Therefore, you lose.
  3. Being hot and sweaty does not inspire me to want to do a lot of activity, for example, dance, especially not dance within three feet of anyone, and I DEFINITELY don't want them touching me. Aka, you lose, again.

2. More elevated surfaces.

I don't know what it is, but girls at parties LOVE getting up on high surfaces that aren't meant to be stood on. Maybe it's a power thing. Maybe they want to scope out the room, or maybe they just enjoy putting themselves in imminent danger, but they eat it up. Getting on a table takes a girl from doing the "side to side sway" to full on doing something similar to the Harlem Shake and takes the party to a similar level. And even if it doesn't, at least it will look like it in the Snapchat, and isn't that all that really matters?

3. Girly alcohol.

Basically, everyone loves a nice, girly drink. Guys pretend they don't, and that they only want manly men drinks like whiskey or rubbing alcohol, but really, every guy loves a good tequila sunrise. And okay, it is a little more expensive, but really when it comes down to it, you've already taken $500 of your parents money to buy 100 cases of Natty Lite and 20 handles of Skol, just so that you can not let anyone take shots anyways, so the extra $5 for a bottle of margarita mix really isn't going to brake the bank, and will dramatically improve your frat party.

4. AIR CONDITIONING!

Do I need to say it again? Come on, it's Dante's Inferno down here!

5. Keep the lights off!

Sometimes some "bro" will need to find something and have the brilliant idea to turn the lights on. This makes me think two things: the party is over, or "oh god everyone can see me and this crop top and booty shorts I'm wearing, even though it's 20 degrees outside." The party being over is probably the lesser of these two evils, because it only makes you surprised for a second. That is, unless everyone leaves because YOU TURNED THE LIGHTS ON. With the second thing, however, all hell could break loose.

Now I'm hot, thinking the party is over, and I know how gross I probably look, but I can also see the gross state the room is probably in from spilled beer during the inevitable dance floor make outs. And even worse for everyone, now we can see the dance floor make outs. I hope your confident, couple making out in the corner, because now we know exactly who you are and who you're hooking up with. And even worse still, now YOU can see exactly who you're hooking up with.

6. Better music.

"Yo I'll tell you what I want what I really really want," and it's fun music that I can actually dance to with my friends. And no, that doesn't mean playing the same most recent top 10 pop song 14 times an hour. You are allowed exactly one taylor swift song an hour and at MOST one rap song. It's like you think we want to hear a song enough times to choreograph a full high school musical routine, when all we really want is to not start bleeding out of our ears.

On the other hand, play as many throwback songs as you want. I've never seen any person not lose their shit at "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" song or get low in their apple bottom jeans. But, warning, the cha cha slide just does not count. We're almost adults, not at a bar mitzvah.

Also, Beyonce. Always Beyonce.

7. More tables for games!

Yes, at any and all frat parties you will be able to find a sticky white fold up table with a bunch of guys around it getting far too loud and excited about getting a tiny white ball into a red solo cup. Congrats, you should be in the NBA. But here's the problem. These guys are all having a great time being manly men and smacking the crap out of cups (that did nothing to deserve it may I add; I'm sorry, cup, you deserve better, like a nice brunch or picnic), while meanwhile there are 10 girls standing around the table just trying to get in on the fun. And here's a secret, boys, the girls who want to play may not be as good as your "brother," but there's a reason they want to play with you, and you are doing it wrong if you pass that up just so you can be the best sweaty boy getting the most ping pong balls into a cup eight ft away. Think about it.

So come on guys, get some more tables, approximately 1000 extra ping pong balls, grow some balls, and play with us!

8. Snacks.



Snacks would literally solve all of the world's problems at a frat party. (Because all the world's problems happen to be had at a frat party.) Snacks are not only great ice breakers, but they are also give people something to do and talk about. "Oh hey, do you want to come grab some chips?" YES! Bam! Instant friends. Snacks would also solve a lot of problems with getting sick.

A lot of times if people actually ate something before they went out, they wouldn't be hurling their guts up twenty minutes into the party. What are you even throwing up? You didn't eat anything! And besides, if there were snacks at a frat party, it would be my favorite party ever! What person at a party doesn't want food? I don't care how tight my top is, show me chips at a party and I'm yours forever. Marry me?

9. Fun themes.

A great theme brings a party to a whole new level. First off, you are basically telling a girl exactly what to wear. This saves time when picking out an outfit and also gives us an excuse to take any outfit and "stultify" it. Oh, it's an animal theme? Sexy cat! America theme? Sexy baseball player! I don't know who was the first person to show up in a black crop top and spandex and then add cat ears and call it a costume, but I wonder if she knows what a trend she set.

Basically, themes make everything more fun, and honestly, then you just get to go to other parties later dressed in ridiculous outfits and get to say that no matter what dumb thing you're wearing, it's fine because you were at theme party.

10. And finally... actually dance.

Guys at frat parties are really good at three things: playing beer games (see above), drinking beer, and avoiding the dance floor like it's the damn plague. And when they do dance, they creepily come up behind you and start dancing on you like your acceptance is not required. Im sorry, who invited you? Goodbye. But after first quarter/semester, the guys realize that that's not okay, and stop dancing all together.

So then, why did you come? To talk to your "brothers" and hide in a corner? No, this isn't the elementary school playground anymore and girls do not have cooties. We came here to see YOU! So come dance with us! Pretend you actually want to be there and dance like a human being, or at least a drunk college kid, and maybe, just maybe, we'll give you your cootie shot.

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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The First Time My Mistakes No Longer Controlled My Life

Mistakes suck, and though I've conquered a few, I'm still learning.

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The whistle blows as the team cheers on.

My heart pounds as if it will burst out of my chest at any given moment and I taste the salty sweat trickling down my face. I must serve over the net, I must get it in, I must ace my opponent or I will fail. Fear.

In his first inaugural speech, President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously stated, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Such a statement proves powerful to the matured minds of society; however, in the minds of some adolescents, this declaration appears somewhat foolish, as numerous "threats" ignite fear, thus causing teens to grow anxious.

A major cause for fear in the rising generation takes form in failure. In the eyes of these people, making a simple mistake paves the way towards absolute failure; therefore, perfectionists constantly walk on eggshells attempting to do the impossible: avoid human error. This mentality gives way to constant stress and overall disappointment, as perfection does not apply to human beings. If one can come to the realization that not one person can attain perfection, they can choose to live life in ease, for they no longer have to apply constant pressure upon themselves to master excellence. The fear of failure will no longer encumber their existence, and they can overcome situations that initially brought great anxiety. I too once put great pressure on myself to maintain perfection, and as a result, felt constantly burdened by my mistakes. However, when I realized the inevitability of those mistakes, it opened the door for great opportunities. The first time I recognized that failure serves as a tool for growth allowed me to no longer fear my mistakes, and instead utilize them for my own personal growth.

The whistle blows as the team cheers on. My heart pounds as if it will burst out of my chest at any given moment, and I taste the salty sweat trickling down my face. I must serve over the net, I must get it in, I must ace my opponent. As hard as I try, I fail; as the ball flies straight into the net and thuds obnoxiously onto the gym floor, so does my confidence. I feel utter defeat, as I know my fate. My eyes water as my coach immediately pulls me from the game, sits me on the bench, and tells me to "get my head into the game" instead of dwindling on past errors. From then on I rarely step foot on the court, and instead, ride the bench for the remainder of the season. I feel defeated. However, life does not end, and much to my surprise, this mistake does not cause failure in every aspect of my life. Over time, I gradually realize that life does not end just because of failure. Instead, mistakes and failure pave the way toward emotional development and allows one to build character. In recognizing that simple slip-ups do not lead to utter failure, I gain perspective: one's single mistake does not cause their final downfall. Thus, this epiphany allowed for my mental growth and led me to overcome once challenging obstacles.

Instead of viewing mistakes as burdens, one should utilize them as motivation for future endeavors. The lesson proves simple: all can learn from their mistakes. However, it is a matter of choosing to learn from these mistakes that decide one's future growth. Instead of pushing faults away, I now acknowledge them in order to progress. Before coming to such a realization, I constantly "played it safe" in sports, fearing that giving my best effort would lead to greater error. I did not try, and as a result, I rarely failed.

Although such a mentality brought forth limited loss in terms of overall team success, it also brought forth limited, individual success. Today, fear of failure no longer controls life on the court. I use my mistakes as motivation to get better; instead of dwindling on an error made five minutes prior, I focus on the form needed to correct it. As a result, skills will constantly improve, instead of regress. Thus, errors serve as blessings, as it is through these errors in which one can possess the motivation to better themselves.

For some, fear acts as an ever-present force that controls every aspect of life. In particular, the fear of failure encumbers perfectionists, as the mere thought of failing causes great anxieties. In the past, I have fell victim to the fear of committing a mistake, and as a result, could not go through life without feeling an overwhelming sense of defeat. However, in a moment of what appeared to be a great failure, I finally recognized that life does not end due to one mistake, let alone one million. Instead, mistakes pave the way toward personal development and provide essential motivation to succeed in everyday life. Without mistakes, it proves difficult to grow in character. One must first learn to accept their faults before they can appreciate their best qualities. Thus, the fear of failure inhibits the growth of an individual; therefore, all must come to the realization that essentialness of mistakes, as they allow for the further development of overall character.

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