Now that the 50th anniversary of the Super Bowl is in our rearview mirrors, as far as I’m concerned, there really isn’t anything to look forward to until March Madness. But I, or anyone else, should have nary a reason to worry, because at least there is a holiday on the horizon: Valentine’s Day. As a kid, Valentine’s Day was easy. You exchanged valentines in class with some sort of theme and always gave your favorite to whomever you “liked.” (So whoever got the Brett Favre valentine in 2000, your boy was trying to holla) But if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, that’s no reason to mope around the living quarters and post passive-aggressive crap on social media about being single on the one day a year that celebrates relationships. (“Forever alone” was worth a few yucks in 2010 but now I’m over it) There are plenty of ways to enjoy your Valentine’s Day even if you’re lacking in the “valentine” department.
I’d just like to preface my little spiel by saying that I’m no stud. There have been plenty of days where it seems that Lisa Ann is the only woman that will ever understand me. But I have spent a lot of Valentine’s Days without a boo thang and have always ended up having great days. There’s definitely something to be said for field experience.
The first step probably only applies to dudes. It’s crucial that before you go about your day, you wake up and chop the wood. Starting the day off on a high note is always nice.
After that battle has been won, meet up with the other single people in your posse and go do something out of the house. Don’t watch TV because it’s going to be nothing but stupid romcoms or something with Katherine Heigl that isn’t "Knocked Up" and whose sole purpose is to try and make your life miserable. Yeah, it’ll probably be cold out, but suck it up. It beats staying in with Ben & Jerry.
The other good thing about getting out of the house is the chocolate. Yeah, I know a box of chocolate on Valentine’s Day is cliché, but if you’re single, you can have an entire box of delicious chocolate to yourself and not giving a damn if somebody else likes them or not. I mean if you’re willing to buy a box of chocolate for someone else, then why not yourself? Speaking of money, you get to save so much of it by being single on Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to buy gifts! More bar money! That seems like a decent deal.
But the freaks come out at night. After you’ve completed your day doing whatever it is that you were doing, it’s time to get ready to go out and get dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight. The bar scene should be a good time since everyone just spent their day getting the idea of love and human connection jammed down their throats. They just drown whatever conflicting emotions they may have with the aforementioned saved money and throw their inhibitions to the wind.
So go out, make some bad decisions, dance with that hottie with a body from your public speaking class, laugh at the person crying into their phone at the end of the bar because you know you’re having a better day than they are and enjoy yourself. But finally, and most importantly, it’s just another day. You missing out on guaranteed sex (situations may vary) on Valentine’s Day is no different than any other day you aren’t getting laid.
