Many months ago I realized that I would be moving to a new city for college. That meant leaving family, friends, and my girlfriend back in my hometown. I had decided a while ago that I couldn't handle a long distance relationship. Every TV show, movie, and personal stories had all warned me against it. All it ends in is loneliness and heartbreak. Although not many people realize this reality, it's up to you and your significant other if all that pain is worth it to the two of you.
First and foremost, the two of you have to agree just how serious your relationship is. I'm sorry to say I've seen it first hand where one partner is way more serious than the other, but they don't realize it until it's too late. Ladies, if he hesitates, I promise it doesn't instantly mean he isn't serious. Guys, don't be afraid to ask yourself and whoever you're with where you see yourself a few years down the line. It should never be one person that decides the fate of the relationship. It takes two to make and break the relationship, never forget that. If need be, bring in a mediator, but make sure you talk it out fully. This isn't about forcing one or the other into what you want. You need to think about what both of you want for your futures THEN figure out if the other is in that future.
When you have that big conversation, you will need to have a sense of what you're getting into. I'll be honest, not seeing each other in person for weeks at a time does feel really crappy. Before you leave, you're most likely going to be attached at the hip, and you will definitely feel lonely quite often. Also, after you see them over a weekend or whenever, it will be like a punch in the gut over and over again. Say you haven't seen them in two weeks and you can feel yourself taking it easier, but then you see them over the weekend, the next four to six days will probably feel worse than before. This does occur more in the beginning, but slowly that sort of routine will be a bit better.
While I did give you an abundant amount of negatives, I promise there is a rainbow after the rain. You'll have to remember that communication is key. In the beginning, one or both of you might be slow to realize, but life does get crazy. Don't forget to text or call or do something to talk to your SO whenever you can. That will definitely help if you're feeling lonely or overwhelmed, talk to them because you are NOT alone. Another thing I noticed is that long distance also makes you appreciate your other half more. You will miss them more, but you'll truly relish every moment with them.
I thought about all these things when I was figuring out what I wanted to do. Before I thought there was no way I was going to do long distance, but things change. If you take anything out of this, make sure you keep an open mind. You may be like me where there was "no way in hell" that you'd ever do long distance. But, maybe you're also like me where one day you just look across from you and realize they're worth that risk. They are worth all that pain.
