I'm sorry.

And not because you cried, or just pretended to, but because you will never know the love I am capable of giving. I am sorry that you are incapable of being a decent human being.

I am sorry for your mom because she will never know the real you. She thinks she does but she has absolutely no idea. I am sorry for your siblings who obviously enjoyed my company more than you did.

I am sorry for my parents. They raised a strong and capable woman, yet I can not break my bond with this boy whom I will never mean anything to. And for what reason? God only knows. I am sorry for the lies I have told them about my relationship and saying "we're doing great!" when I haven't felt loved in months.

But mostly, I am sorry for myself. For believing your lies and deception. I apologize to myself for not breaking your heart sooner and continuing to let mine get crushed every time you did one of the things that you knew bothered me. I am sorry for letting myself get to the point where being comfortable is more important than growing or getting what I need in a relationship. I am sorry for taking my anger, frustration, and sadness out on my self. I am sorry for keeping myself up at night wondering every possible question about this stupid boy.

To YOU, I am most certainly not sorry for you. You deserve this.

No woman should ever have to wonder if their boyfriend loves them or cares about them. There should be no questioning whether or not this is where you need to be. You should be growing with your partner, even if there is no real plan for the future. You should feel loved all the time not just when you give him what he wants.

Love is the hardest thing to come by in college. As just a freshman, I have already stopped expecting it.