Sigmund Freud once said, " depression is not a sign of weakness, but is instead an indication that one has tried to be strong for far too long." Depression is a demon that more people than what you would think fight every single day. I should know, as I’m a victim of depression, and some days it’s all I can do to drag myself out of bed. My name is Whitney Jo Oaks, and I’m a survivor of depression and anxiety. This is my story.

I first began experiencing signs of depression when I was around 15 or 16 years old. I was beginning to have issues with my family, and driving had become the goal that everyone wanted me to reach…but I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. Isn’t that awful? To be nearly 20 years old and absolutely hate to drive? Because of this apparent issue that I had and still have, I felt like I was being judged by everyone of whom I was around. I felt like an outcast and a burden to anyone who is acquainted with me. I was under the impression that my friends and family thought that I was only taking advantage of them, that I wasn’t truly thankful for their friendships and love that they have for me. That’s the last thing that I want anyone to think about me. And as for the issues with my family that I had mentioned earlier, the thing that you have to understand about some members of my family is that they all have certain ideas of how a person should think, or act, or what principles or morals a person should have. And if you don’t share those same ideas, then there’s something wrong with you. For years I had tried to please my relatives, a task that I would soon discover was totally impossible. I was tired of trying to please everyone. Skip forward a few years-to the beginning of my second semester of my sophomore year of college. It was a few weeks into the semester, and I was at home alone, in my bedroom. I was stressed out to the max from everything that had been going on-my family problems, my personal issues, and other things that are very real but I do not care to talk about. I felt like no matter what I did, I would never be good enough, and that no one would ever be able to love me. That was the first time that I feel like I was reaching my breaking point. As I laid in my bed, curled up in a fetal position, I heard a sinister whisper in my mind. “Give up, Whitney” the voice hissed. “You’re not worth it. Your life isn’t worth living. The whole world would be better off if you were dead and gone.” Satan was trying his hardest to get me to take my own life, and I didn’t want to. I cried. I prayed out loud for God to cast that demon out of my head and to restore me to my former, happy state. I didn’t want to take my own life, and it was at that point that I realized just how weak and vulnerable I had allowed myself to become at that point. After I prayed, an overwhelming sense of peace came over me, and it was like I was finally able to breathe again. A couple days later, I finally mustered up the courage to go to my family doctor in Jamestown and tell them of my signs of depression. I wasn’t ashamed of what I was going through, I was actually tired of having to hide it from people. I’m now receiving help for my depression through daily medications and I will be starting counseling sessions either later this month or in early March.

I firmly believe that, had I not reached my point of extreme desperation that night and cried out to God, that I wouldn’t be able to tell my story today in this article. I sincerely hope that this story of mine, as shocking and as eye opening as it may be to some who know me personally, will encourage others to seek help for their mental illnesses, whether it be depression, anxiety, or anything else. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! Get the help that you need and deserve, because you are a beautiful human being who is worthy to feel loved and good about yourself and who you are. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone-a doctor, a friend, myself, or even God. Humans are a huge help, don’t get me wrong, but our Heavenly Father is the ONLY one who can give us everlasting peace.

1 Peter 5:7-“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Isaiah 41:10-“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:13-“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’”

1 Corinthians 10:13-“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”