13 Things You Understand All Too Well If You Have Allergies

13 Things You Understand All Too Well If You Have Allergies

Pollen is the silent killer.

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Spring has sprung and that means so have allergies. Seasonal allergies are in full swing and that means that so are all the side effects. Here is everything you understand if you have allergies.

1. Your eyes are always itchy

2. Since your eyes are always itchy, that means that they're always red

No, I am not high.

3. You sneeze 40,000 times a day

4. If you don't take your allergy medicine, you might as well stay at home

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5. And even if you do take your medicine, it doesn't cut it sometimes

6. When you see pollen everywhere, it is like a death sentence 

7. Rain is a gift from God because it washes the pollen away

8. Everyone is so happy that spring is here, but you are over it

9. You count down the days until everything stops blooming and your allergies will calm down

10. Puffy eyes? All the time

11. And you can forget about breathing through your nose 

because your nose is stuffed for about 3 months

12. Don't forget about the cough that lasts weeks 

13. You have tissues on deck 24/7

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Dear Restaurants I'm Not Trying To Be Annoying, I Just Have Bad Allergies

I have to stop and think before I eat anything, because my next reaction could be deadly.

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I love trying new foods and exploring different cultures so it was no shock that when I studied abroad in Rome, Italy that I was going to taste everything. During the second week of my trip, while visiting the Coliseum with my class, I had a reaction. I remember my stomach being in knots, wanting to lie down, and then being hurried into an ambulance. I spent a long five hours at the hospital where I was told I just had food poisoning. Another reaction at my cousin's house in Italy, left me with the thought that maybe something else was happening with my body.

Blood tests, a couple more severe reactions later, and an official scratch test finally gave me closure. I'm allergic to shellfish, fish, and seafood. My doctor told me my test showed that the next time I have an allergic reaction it could be life-threatening. I had lived 20 years of my life, allergy-free, and not at all worried about the ingredients in the meals I ate or which factories the chips I snacked came from. I had the pleasure of eating without even thought, but now, eating has become more of a task than an enjoyment.

Every restaurant, every meal, every snack I want to eat, I first have to go through a checklist. I have to see if they serve any kind of seafood. I have to ask if they cook everything on the same grill or if their fries are fried in the same oil as their seafood. The long menu that I was originally handed becomes shorter and shorter as the waiter explains to me how everything in the kitchen pretty much touches. I have to cut out restaurants that I use to always go to and avoid events that serve anything seafood related. I feel bad because I have to remind my friends, my family, and everyone around about my allergies.

Restaurants when I ask a bunch of questions while ordering or hand you my "chef card" that states my allergies, I'm not trying to be annoying. I'm scared about eating and having a reaction. I'm uncomfortable that I have to ask so much from your establishment. I'm nervous you won't take me seriously. So just remember when someone comes in and ask more questions than you want to answer, and expects what you to give what you might call "special treatment", that they aren't trying to be annoying. You may think they're on some special diet, or just being picky (and I'm not saying that they couldn't be) but maybe they're allergic. So allergic that they have to carry their EpiPen wherever they go and constantly have to be on alert with everything that they touch.

I have bad allergies. I really wish I didn't because my life would be so much easier. I would rather not have plan my life around the food I eat but if I didn't, I couldn't eat at all. So I'm sorry if I'm annoying, I really don't wanna be and I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from.

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