I walk in and the walls seem to close in a bit because the lighting is dark. My vision seems to tunnel. Whatever band and whatever loud music and the chaos of a crowd, I find myself holding pain in my chest and escaping outside to breathe as far away from everyone as possible. I'm certain at times people are thinking I'm just bringing on dramatics, but my inability to deal is never on purpose.
Before taking medication to help numb my overactive senses, I used to get overwhelmed by the noises and lights while picking out fruit in the grocery store. Creaky wheels on carts were enough to make me tense up and send my body into fight or flight mode. Thankfully, medication helps that glitch in my system, but even so, it doesn't change who I am as a person. I'm still sensitive, introverted, and emotional.
Some people loosely use the word 'empath' while others look to Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. and her studies in the early '90s which coined the term HSP, (Highly Sensitive Person). It's estimated that one in five people have this condition. Personally, as someone who is highly sensitive, I don't feel as though I'm suffering or weak, but I think I've been handed a blessing as long as I use it in the right way.
You may be wondering what good could come from being prone to anxiety and depression, being easily annoyed, and the inability to watch horror movies... well, one major thing that I value most is the amount of empathy I have towards others. Although a lot of my interactions leave me tired, I have the ability to feel what someone else is feeling very deeply. I give all of me to listen and comfort. That creates healing. That's a good thing!
Then there's the details, I like that I'm highly attuned to tiny details. I'm always aware of my surroundings. I hear every little noise and notice the new pair of shoes you're wearing or maybe if you have on a new ring. I typically pay attention to things that most people don't pay attention to and I have the patience to create beautiful art. Details are a good thing!
And lastly, I'm quite fine with my alone time. I have a complex inner life that never gets boring. I roll decisions around in my head until I'm certain I'm making the right one. I think and research and think some more about the research - learning is a good thing!
So, to conclude, being sensitive doesn't make you a weak person, it makes you special and unique. Embrace it!
