I remember a point in my life when I was heavier. People would constantly tell me to get into better shape and even recommend healthy diets and exercise.
I hated it. Please don’t worry about me. Don’t even begin to talk to me about it either. It’s not the greatest conversation starter.
At the time, it was something I was already beating myself up over because of what they were continuously saying. I get that I wasn’t as small as I used to be. I got it. I did not need to hear the thoughts in my head out loud, especially by others.
I own a mirror everyone, I see it.
On a side note, I was pretty OK with my body, HONESTLY. I didn’t feel huge. Bigger than my old self, definitely, but huge? No, not at all. I wasn’t set on this mentality that I was stuck like this. I knew that I would lose it eventually. If there was anything I was confident in, it was my willpower to change the things I knew I was completely in control of. Like losing weight if I truly felt the need to. However, everyone I encountered at church or family members made me feel like I was this obese girl that weighed 500 lbs.
I thought, oh my gosh just let me be.
I kept reminding myself that eating was not a crime. I remember every now and then, I would eat around these people and I would kind of be ashamed that I was feeding my hungry stomach. It was so embarrassing to have to hide the fact that I was going to be eating because I knew someone watching was going to say something.
“Hey, you have had enough.”
“You should watch what you’re eating.”
“I don’t think you need more of that.”
These comments haunted me. I would look in the mirror and try to see from their perspective and started to agree with them.
God, they are right, you are fat. What are you doing? You look horrible.
My self-worth and confidence were shattered.
A big part of why I finally decided to lose weight was not because of me deciding to do so, it was other people. I couldn’t tune out their comments. I think the worst thing you can say to someone who is actually comfortable with their body is to say otherwise. I mean for goodness sake, weight is temporary ya’ll. Ya lose some, ya gain some.
In the Asian culture, people act like its the end of the world to be a little bigger than average! And it's baffling because it’s not even their own body they are worrying about. How does my weight affect your being whatsoever? Why even go out of your way to make someone feel bad about the skin they are in? Do I pinpoint your flaws?
With all that said, I’m not saying don’t live a healthy lifestyle. Because, in fact, I’m all for that. Whatever works for you, you know? But overall, I think people just need to practice self-acceptance every day. The beauty of this is that it’s available to you, to us. While it’s easier said than done, it's there—we can have it no matter what we do. Self-acceptance is not a trait that you either have or don’t, it’s a skill that you can exercise. I also think that people need to practice acceptance of others as well. Tell someone they look good, whether they are 115 lbs or 200 lbs. Stop criticizing and judging. Everyone deserves to be happy with the body they have because it’s with us forever. Don’t be the one that ruins that.
