There are people in this world who were comfortable with themselves since the moment they were born. Unfortunately for other people, it does take some time to get to this fundamental realization. We live in a world where the “ideal look” changes more frequently than iPhone updates do. As a society, we once idealized Marilyn Monroe as the image of perfection. Then, society decided that the supermodels such as Twiggy were the image of perfection. We all can understand that human natures make us want to fit in. So, for generations, people have felt pressure to fit with the “ideal look.” Guys have been told that if they do not look like an Abercrombie and Fitch model, then something is wrong. This mindset is not only deluded, but it is toxic for the minds of the youth.
As a society, we have seen the catastrophic results when young adults try to fit in. The rise of eating disorders and body dysmorphia has affected too many young men and women. Social media has instilled the mindset, that before you post a picture you need to put a filter on it. That, the number of "likes" somehow validates your beauty. Young adults mimic what they see because they are at an age where they are incredibly susceptible. Trends such as the Kylie Jenner lip challenge, only promote the idea that you need to alter yourself in order to be "trendy". The prevalent use of Photoshop and photo editing apps further add to the mindset that being yourself may not be enough.
I believe that the way to end the toxic cycle is only achievable when you disconnect yourself for some time. I felt the pressure that I not only put on myself but the pressure that society put on me. I have been told one too many times that you do not need to focus on being intelligent. Instead, I should focus on being "pretty." That, somehow my importance in this world could be measured by something superficial like appearance. We live in a society where some people believe that consent can be determined by what a person was wearing. Ignoring the fact that humans lived for centuries with animal skin as the only sources of clothing, and they still were able to function. My male friends have been told that they were being "too much of a girl. Due to the fact that they were expressive of their emotions. Instead, of holding emotions back, in order to uphold the image of being “strong”. The simple fact that some people associate emotions with a gender showcases an evident flaw in our society.
I was at the point where I was disgusted by the situations I was witnessing. I decided that I needed to follow my heart and ignore everything else. I truly relied on my loved ones during this time, because I needed to realize my worth. I was at the point where I did not feel validation from myself or those important to me. Instead, I felt validation by how many Instagram likes I received and if my waist looked smaller than it actually was. Focusing on your health is a wonderful thing that carries some many benefits. But, I realized I needed to want to exercise and eat clean for the right reasons. Wanting to look "skinny enough" in a dress, so I could post it on social media. The moment you release this mindset, you are living your life to satisfy yourself and no one else. I was waking up every morning and I felt truly content. I was happy with myself and I appreciated the things that mattered.
I am no way saying that social media was solely to blame for my body issues, but it did contribute to them. As young adults, we feel the pressures to be accepted, and at times it becomes overwhelming. I am eternally grateful that I was able to learn that I needed to accept myself for who I was. I realized I will never be like the tall, tan, and skinny Instagram models that were flooding my feed. Instead, I am myself, a person who is loved and respected by those most important to me. The moment I stopped comparing myself to others and stopped trying to live up to expectations, I became happy. The lesson I hope every takes from this is that you are a wonderfully flawed human being.
The flaws that you dwell on make you unique and they need to be respected. The next time you look in a mirror to start criticizing yourself, act like you are talking to your best friend. Would you ever tell your best friend that her freckles are not beautiful or that your best friend needs to “bulk up”? No, you would tell your best friend that they are perfect the way they are, just like you are. We are all different and need to appreciate that our flaws and quirks make us who we are. Next time you pass a mirror or have a toxic thought, please think about the fact that you are the only you. No one else can be like you because there is only one of you. Appreciate that fact and live your life to the fullest. Ignoring toxic thoughts will make you appreciate the wonderful things life has to offer.
If all the men and women around the world united together to fight against body shaming, our society would be better off. Instead, of pitting other women against one another, or criticizing how someone dresses. We need to empower one another for our beauties and our flaws. The more we empower women and men for who they are and how they look, the quicker we will end body shaming. We went thousand of years as a society without dictating what the "ideal" body should be. The damage of the past 100 or so years can easily be erased. As a society, we need requires companies to create ads that support all body types and ethnicities. So, no young child will ever have to believe they are not enough because they are not being depicted. We all live in a free country, so no one is stating someone HAS to do something.
But, instead of criticizing someone on their appearance, find another option. Either give them a compliment or do not say something. The saying "If you can't say something nice, don't say it all" still applies, even if we are older. We need to empower each other and appreciate who we are as individuals, instead of looking for faults. No women should ever hear that her body is not attractive because of it's size. Just, like how no man should ever be told that they are not enough because they are smaller. Size does not dictate worth, the color of someones skin does not dedicate beauty. The size of someone heart, their intelligence, their hopes, and their dreams are what is important. We need to empower one another, instead of trying to bring each other down.
