How 6 Women With Ideal Body Types Prove The Grass Isn't Always Greener

How 6 Women With Ideal Body Types Prove The Grass Isn't Always Greener

Believe it or not, there is someone insecure about that very thing you wish you had.
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Have you ever heard the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side"? It's so common for us all to compare ourselves to others and want what we do not have that I sometimes think it's written in our DNA.

Nowadays, in terms of physical attractiveness, the media really alters our impressions of what it means to be beautiful. The beauty industry generates over $56.2 billion in a year, claiming to boost men and women's self-confidence. Beauty trends come and go, and they often times leave men and especially women, wishing their bodies looked different.

What does the media say is beautiful? Thin frame, long legs, large breasts, hourglass figure? Long hair, full lips, long eyelashes? Petite, round butt and well toned in all the right places? Well, I talked to some women with these #bodygoals and found out maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side, and maybe, just maybe, we should learn to love our bodies just the way they are.

Long Legs, Thin Frame

"I've always been tall, my entire life! I started being insecure in elementary school because I was taller than all the boys, and people would point it out. That continued on into middle school. In high school, my height helped contribute to a good volleyball career and started my modeling career, but I still wished I could wake up an inch or two shorter. While in my 20's now, I still worry if my heels are too high. I get nervous, despite modeling for a career, and the funny thing is that in that world, taller is better. I round up to 5'10 for work but round down when others ask me how tall I am to 5'9. People always ask how tall I am (I am only around 5'9.5"), and people joke around by calling me giant.

At a family wedding, my younger cousin (16 at the time who is/was 5'11) and I were standing next to each other. I was in 3-inch wedges and someone walked by saying 'wow, clearly they invited the giants today'. It was a total stranger. We laughed it off, but those comments stick with you.

I can't say I've overcome it or that I'll ever be totally comfortable with my height. Long legs mean shorts, skirts, and dresses are a challenge to find in a length. Yes, my height has fueled my modeling career, and I am proud of it but seem to only be proud of it at work. Hopefully, I will stop caring what others think and fully embrace it because I am not getting shorter anytime soon!

To the girls who are nervous about being taller than guys--my boyfriend is 6'1, and even if I wear heels and am taller than him, he's okay with it because he wants me to feel empowered to wear heels and not care (and he even thinks it's attractive!), so my advice is, a genuine guy won't care if your an inch or so taller because of your new heels that you love wearing!

And you know, I have friends who say "oh I wish I had your body", and I just laugh it off saying 'yeah, high metabolisms are great, but you know being tall has its downsides too'. I think everyone will always want what they can't have. Being thin, for me, means I don't get big boobs, but I maybe don't have to be as health conscious when getting food. Everything, every body type, will have its pros and cons.

Saying "love yourself" is so much easier than actually doing it. I don't know if we will ever fully embrace our bodies because there will always be something new we want to change. Because I'm thin I need to "eat a hamburger" ...I do! Trust me! I think the dialogue needs to be not only loving/accepting our bodies, but we need to accept other women's bodies too. Women need to stop comparing and fighting against each other because we offer much more than our bodies."

-Ellen, 21


Large Breasts

"I hate my boobs to this day. It is pretty crazy to think that so many people want bigger and bigger boobs when all I want is to hide mine from the world. When I was younger (in my teens) I used to wear 2 sports bras to push them down. Even now it bothers me cause I can't find bathing suits that don't show them off. If I could tell girls who wish their chest were bigger anything, I'd tell them that they are so heavy! And you don't NEED big boobs. They might attract boys but that's of no benefit you, trust me!"

-Chelsea, 23


Large Butt

"I have to start by saying that even though you think a full, round butt will make you feel sexy and more womanly, it's just simply not always the case. I'm complimented on my large butt and tiny waist ratio often. My friends always say I have the most perfect hourglass figure. They say they wish they had my body type. Men stare. Random women compliment me. So why does it make me feel so insecure?

For starters, this big round booty accumulated during my awkward middle school years when I was already self-conscious about the changes that were taking place in my body. First came the hips, accompanied by stretch marks and a really difficult time buying pants that's could cater to my size zero waist and sized 12 butt. And next came the volume- fullness. Which was followed by cellulite and more stretch marks.

The disrespectful comments and the unwanted sex appeal that my full, large butt gave off sent a completely wrong message, whether I was wearing jeans, a skirt, bodycon dress/skirt or even sweatpants for crying out loud. I've since learned how to tame my curves and fall in love with my body, but it definitely wasn't easy.

I spent many days embarrassed, lots of money trying to find spanks to slim me down, time and energy searching for the best creams and lotions to eliminate cellulite and stretch marks, only to find out none of it worked. I found that the only cure to altering your body is to start loving it just the way it is, and I would tell the exact same thing to any woman who is sitting there reading this wishing they had a butt like one of the Kardashian's."

-Brittany, 22


Petite Figure

"My entire family is full of tiny women, short and thin. Ever since middle school I can remember people commenting on "how thin" I was. Little did they know I could pound a burger and fries, and yet have the wonders of a quick metabolism whisk away any evidence of the burger. In high school, I remember girls targeting me and saying I must be anorexic because I was so thin. Despite the amount of food I consumed and the regular exercise I was involved with, the comments still would flow in. When I was asked my weight and would respond 98 lbs or 100 lbs, the looks I would receive were full of disgust. I still get the questions today- and usually some comments when asked to share my weight. Even members of my extended family comment on my thin figure.

In college, I stopped exercising and kept eating, yet I wouldn't put on the pounds. It's difficult to hear the comments like "why don't you eat a burger" come out of a relatives mouth. My goal for myself currently is to build up my strength, in hopes of adding some more pounds, but also to just bring about a healthier me. Not so the comments stop because they won't. But so I can feel good in my own skin. This is the body God gave me, and it's my responsibility to treat it like a temple. I'm determined to take action for myself, and be proud of my figure- and not fall victim to the hurtful words of family and strangers!

It's an insecurity of mine because after years of hateful words, those words start to become tattooed in your mind. It's tough because I know women kill themselves day in and day out to be the size I am. What I would tell them is be happy with who you are. Take what the Lord gave you, and make yourself healthy in mind, body, and spirit. Healthy is beautiful...not necessarily size 0. Find a way to look yourself in the mirror and say "I'm proud of the work I've done to get where I am, and I'm thankful for what I've been given." That's when I think insecurity will fall to the wayside."

-Katie, 23


Full Lips

"It's hard to ignore the hype that Kylie Jenner has brought to the table in terms of the size of a woman's lips. It's a beauty trend that has just totally exploded, and I have to be honest- when it first showed up, I simply didn't understand.

The one feature I had that I was most embarrassed and insecure about was now the focus of everyone's attention. I had something people were striving for, literally going under the knife for, and I didn't even want it.

I'm not really sure why they were such an insecurity of mine. Kind of the same way that I'm sure people who want larger lips can't necessarily explain why they want injections based on the insecurity they have about their small lips. All I really know is that this "full lip" trend will soon go, and I will still have my naturally full lips. That's why I want to remind girls (and guys too!) that our bodies are ours, and our's only! Every decision that you make to alter your body will impact you and no one else, so if you do decide to make a change, do it for yourself. Sure we can make fairly minor changes that can be reversed depending one what we eat, our excercise schedule etc., but that won't change our bone structure. It won't change the way our bodies naturally carry weight or the size of our eyes or the length of our legs.

For this exact reason, I encourage everyone to find peace in the beautiful masterpiece that they are. Relish in the idea that not a single body is built exactly like yours. Not a single face was created like yours. You are unique and perfect in your own way, so the time is now to start loving yourself the way you are, exactly the way God made you."

-Jennifer, 22


Perfect Hourglass

"My biggest issue and insecurity relating to the shape of my body is that I look sexy without even trying to. Many of the flowy tops or shift dresses don't necessarily look good on me because they fall weirdly on my shape. I know it seems silly to anyone else who is wishing their body looked like mine, but truly, there are struggles whether you have narrow hips or curvy ones. There are struggles whether you have large breasts or small ones- obviously different struggles but struggles nonetheless.

If I could say one thing to people who wish they had my body type, I'd tell them that my body type isn't "beautiful". It isn't what "makes you a woman". It is something that a few shallow "beauty experts" have slapped a label on, calling it ideal, but that doesn't make it "beautiful". It isn't the only body type that is beautiful. It doesn't make me more or less of a woman than you are. It's time to start realizing what's important, and what's important is definitely not only what's on the outside."

-Allison, 24

Sometimes we feel like our lives will be so much better if only we had this or that. If only our waist were a little smaller or chest a little bigger. If our teeth were a little straighter or our legs a little longer. But I challenge you to embrace what you have been given and learn to love and accept yourself as you are. After all, you never truly get to see yourself in the moments where you are the most beautiful; talking about something you love when you're laughing uncontrollably, when you're asleep, so gentle and vulnerable. Beauty is subjective and truly in the eyes of the beholder. There is not a single definition of "beautiful", but I can tell you the most beautiful things about you are the quirks that make you unique and unlike the rest of the world. Stop wishing for the things you don't have, and believe that what you do have is more than enough. Let's make a pact this New Years to begin spending less time wishing we were different, and more time finding joy in every part of who we are

The grass might always seem to be greener on the other side but the truth is, it's only green where you water it.

Cover Image Credit: Jennifer VerMeulen

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle – Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying.

What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense.

I've heard it all:

"He was cute, why didn't you like him?"

"You didn't even give him a chance!"

"You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous.

However, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do.

I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well.

Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault.

If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention a girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs"

Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him.

If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking Snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it.

He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush.

Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling.

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Buying New Clothes Every Month Has Been The Key To Helping Me Become Happy With My Body Again

Loving my body in new outfits has boosted my self image so much.

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Being body-positive has been really hard for me to do throughout 2019, despite there being an overwhelming surge in body-positivity around me, whether through my friends and family or YouTube. I look in the mirror and what I see is someone I want to make a jean size or two smaller like in the past. That being said, I've slowly been coming around to accepting the body I have now, instead of bashing it constantly. A key way I've come to accept the body I'm in now is through buying myself something new every month, like a new T-shirt or a pair of jeans or sneakers that help me see myself in a positive light. When I'm in a new outfit, I feel invincible. I don't think about how pudgy my stomach is, or about the hair I have growing in random places, like my neck or on my nose (yes, not just in, but ON too).

My bank account tends to suffer as of recently because of this, but it's worth it when I can genuinely feel good in what I am wearing every day. I like to wake up and think about how many outfits I can put together, ready to post my #OOTD for Snapchat without caring what anyone thinks. I've let social media dictate how I feel about myself more than I care to admit. I see how perfect all the models are in everything they're wearing from brands I know and love, yet when I try the same thing on, it's a whole different ugly story.

I don't enjoy trying things on to avoid the shame I feel when things don't fit me right, or if something that I thought would flatter me actually makes me look like a sack of potatoes. Instagram has really hurt my body image a lot — enough to make me delete it for a week after one post sent me spiraling. Going through those bumps made me finally realize it's not my fault if something doesn't fit. Sizes range depending on the item, it's the clothing items fault, not mine. Now that I see that, it's easier to brush off something not fitting me as it should. I know my size very well in the stores I frequent the most, so it's easier for me to pick out things I know will look good and not have to worry about the sizing issue.

Buying yourself something new is not something you should limit to every few months or longer. You shouldn't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone price wise every once and a while either. Coupons exist, stories always offer you them when you first sign up to receive emails and even texts. You can be crafty and still get a high price item for less. If you treat yourself to cheap things, you won't feel half as good as you want to. Granted, sticking to a limit is important but there's no shame in going over the limit every once and a while.

I love shopping as much as I love country music and writing short stories — a lot. Yes, I get yelled at almost every time I get something new. I need to save my money for important things, like for my sorority or for medical issues that could suddenly arise, or for utilities at my house next year off campus.

However, my mental well-being is not something I can ignore.

I can't push the good feelings aside to save 30 or 40 bucks a month. I don't want to feel as low as I've felt about myself anymore. I'm tired of feeling sad or angry at who I am, and I want to learn how to accept myself as I am. Buying myself something new, like clothes, is what offers a positive light to view myself under.

Whether you treat yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or to face masks, or to a new movie when it comes out — don't be afraid to do it. Put yourself first and you'll realize your worth and how much you've been ignoring it in the face of poor confidence.

My confidence isn't back up to where it used to be, but it's getting there.

It may not be the most cash efficient method of self-love, but my body positivity is better than it was a few months ago. Aerie and American Eagle have really helped me become happier with my body, and I can't thank them enough for being more inclusive for people like me who are learning to love themselves again in a new body.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for all of us hoping to promote our own body positivity, and it could all start with a simple purchase from your favorite store after you read this.

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