I was married young and like many young girls of my time I had an idea of what love and marriage were supposed to look like. I didn’t have the Internet to refer to and in my own home there was not an example of a good and loving marriage since my parents divorced when I was too young to remember. I got my ideas and based my illusions (or rather delusions) on TV shows from the 50’s and 60’s, which I would see in re-runs. You know, I Love Lucy, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch. I remember the wives with their done up hair and their pretty dresses waiting for their husbands to come home from work. The cocktail ready on the bar cart and the table beautifully set, waiting to serve the perfect meal.
It was a rude awakening for me when I came to the realization that what I saw on TV and in films had nothing to do with real life. I was so disappointed that I felt somehow cheated. What I realize so many years later is that part of my delusion was because of my age. I was naïve and innocent, I wanted the world to be a big magnificent place where you fell in love with Mr. Right and birds helped you dress in the morning for happily ever after. All these years later, and with hopefully, a lot of maturity, I know that the real thing is so much better. It’s better because it’s real.
I have been married to my husband for more than 25 years. I am not going to feed you a line of BS and tell you we have never had a fight in our lives and we finish each other’s sentences. I will tell you that it has involved a lot of love, hard work, dedication, and flexibility and then a lot more love. We have separated once during our marriage, there have been issues that the majority of marriages don’t come back from and yet here we are. I didn’t settle, mind you, I didn’t just hold on for the kids, though at times those were definitely reasons to get through a bad bout. I knew whom I wanted to be with, I knew I had built a life with someone, someone who loved me, possibly more than anyone has or will ever love me. Sometimes, he is my best friend and sometimes he’s the dimwit I married but he is always the constant love of my life.
So many years together and now our relationship has evolved. We still argue, though less frequently. We still go through rough patches, sometimes not speaking to one another, but they are rare. We are both very strong willed independent thinkers that at times struggle to “agree to disagree” but we are learning to laugh about our differences and more importantly, respect them. Over time we are learning to let go of our insecurities, we are enjoying the fruits of our labor. We have a beautiful family with nearly full-grown children of whom we are so proud. We enjoy looking back at the times when they were little, when our family struggled economically because we were a one-income household so that there could be a parent at home but we were oblivious to so much because we had these funny, wonderful children that filled our lives.
The thing is, I have shared so much of my life with my husband. I have discovered new places with him, seen the world, shared highs and lows and everything in between. We are still learning about each other because we are still evolving and not always evolving in unison. We are beginning to find all of the treasures that a lifetime together holds. We are still on this magnificent journey and are in no hurry to reach our destination. Marriage is an amazing adventure that thrills you, dumbfounds you, elates and depresses, encourages and discourages, and, at least for me, has made my life a fabulous and entertaining adventure.
