The best advice I’ve ever received wasn’t nice nor was it beautiful. In fact, it was the farthest thing from soothing. The best advice I’ve ever received was in its rawest form, and it stung in the moment, but when I look back on it, it was real.

It takes someone with true courage to stand up, swallow his/her fear, and spit out the truth. And the truth is: most people who enter your life are going to hurt you—whether it is intentionally or unintentionally. They are going to abuse any light they see inside of you and tear it out, shred by shred. Should I sugar coat that statement? Probably, but it takes real guts to leave it raw.

We are all human and we all know deep down that our best friend or our soul mate will hurt us. So you’d think we would fear intimacy and compassion for another soul, but rather we crave it. Why? Because it’s better to have let someone in so that for a short moment we can experience what it’s like to be alive. That “alive” feeling is known as being vulnerable. Yes, even the man with the big muscles at the gym is vulnerable. But isn’t it better to have felt alive and encounter pain from getting hurt, than to fear all, stay closed off, and feel nothing at all?

What’s this advice I received? Let your heartbreak. Let it shatter and crumble and spew pain from every vein. Love to the point that you break your own heart because it’s in the beauty of a breakdown that you redefine yourself.

Though I’d never wish a heartbreak on even my worst enemy, they happen. And it’s in this heart wrenching time that my advice came. I had my heartbroken before. I feel as if in that very moment, that one word could never encompass all the pain that is felt. It was when I put down my pride and admitted to both, myself and the world, that I was broken.  What I remember most is that my mom hugged me through my tears, and whispered two words, “Just smile.”

Just smile? How can I smile at a time like this? This lady is crazy. But looking back on it, she wasn’t. She was right. She told me that pain passes and if you give it time, you will heal. But during that time, it’s going to hurt like hell.

What kind of advice is that? I thought I needed positivity and encouragement and someone to tell me that he was an idiot and that everything would be okay. But looking back, she was right.

Heartbreaks are the worst but you have to smile. Fake it, mean it, whatever it takes to force you to reveal those pearly whites and show the world you’re going to make it. Because if you can convince the world that you’re going to be okay, you’ll start to convince yourself. If you see the idiot that lost you, just smile. Nothing makes someone miss you more than when they see you smile. They’ll start to wonder how you could be hurt and still smile, or maybe, just maybe they’ll question if you’re hurt at all. It’s a slap in the face. You left me and I should be crumbled to pieces but on the outside strong. On the outside I’m the god damn happiest person you’ll ever encounter.

Keep yourself busy. Surround yourself with people who like adventures. Surround yourself with movies, and dinner dates with friends. Go out to parties or down town on a Monday night. Hike the Cascades. Say ‘yes’ to every and any thing. Do you suddenly want to try out the new restaurant down the road? Do it. You’re never going to be as young as your are right now. You’re never going to be as alive as you are right now. Each day that passes is a day closer to your hourglass running out of sand. Do adventures that make you smile. See people that make you laugh. This is your time right now.

Take life second by second. Don’t look at the long run. Don’t look at how you will feel tomorrow or what you’re going to do for spring break now that the person you wanted to spend it with is no longer in your life. Think about right now. Right this very second. Breath by breath. When you look at life this way, the pain is temporarily disabled and time tends to fly by quicker. It begins with only being able to live second by second, but eventually you’ll be able to live minute by minute, then hour by hour, then moment by moment. Before you know it, you’ll wake up, and realize two months have flown by. You will look in the mirror and realize that for the first time in a long time, you’re okay, and once again, you’ll smile. But this time you’ll mean it. You had done the inevitable. You convinced not only the world that you’re okay, but you convinced yourself. For the first time in a while, you believe you are happy or that there’s a chance that somewhere down the road, you will be okay.

Failure comes most often when you were just two steps away from success. So if your heart breaks, just breathe. You’re going to get through this. Look the world in the eyes and just smile. “Life ain’t always beautiful but it’s a beautiful ride.”