The first week at college has been an overwhelming but exciting experience for me, There are many things for me to learn and new experiences to enjoy, but the deluge of people and information is a bit much to be dumped into. As an introvert, orientation was a struggle for me. I discovered that in many respects I did not fit in with the majority of the people I met. For some reason, everyone found me to be strangely independent. Here are a few reflections on what it is like to be an introvert faced with the travails of adjusting to a new and very social environment like college.

One night last week, I needed some time to think and talk things over. Everyone on my floor was already asleep, so I grabbed a blanket and a cup of tea and headed out to the green. I spread my blanket, laid down, and stared at the stars. I called my boyfriend and we chatted for hours. It would have been an incredibly relaxing time for me if I hadn’t been accosted every five minutes by passers by.

“Are you okay?” they screamed at me. “Is that girl passed out on the lawn?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” I would reply even though I was intensely annoyed. Is there no place for solitude on a campus? As an introvert, alone time is very important to me. When did people start to be so afraid of being alone? What taught these people to fear the dark? All of these people who shouted at me--they were in tightly packed flocks. What wolf did they anticipate on such an idyllic and well policed campus? Why do my classmates find it odd that I’m not afraid to walk to my dorm by myself at night? Let’s face it, my school is in the sleepiest small town imaginable, the paths between buildings are lit like broad daylight, and the grounds are wide open. There’s nowhere for a mugger to hide and jump out at me as I walk by.

It was a strange experience for me. I grew up going on night hikes through the woods by myself. I didn’t bring a flashlight. I let the dark embrace me and teach me to find my way based on the senses of sound, smell, and touch. I found it comforting. Being alone at night removed all distraction and allowed me freedom for my thoughts. I have never associated being alone with being in danger. Considering my background, that may seem ironic to some, but they would fail to realize that I have been hurt more deeply and put in greater danger by people I love and trust than any stranger has ever done. To me, being alone is being safe

It made me wonder what experiences all those people had to convince them so strongly that the only safety comes in numbers. To me, groups of people are one of the most terrifying things possible. I feel very vulnerable while surrounded by strangers. I don’t know what to expect from any of them. Orientation pushed my limits. I have constantly been forced into groups of strangers and told to mingle. Nothing could be more stressful to me. I am not afraid of talking to people. One-on-one I love to hold conversation. The problem lies in being overloaded with so much information and so many people at once. I won’t remember 30 names, majors and fun facts that were thrown at me in some ice breaker game. In fact, I’ll just feel guilty about not remembering and shut down. I’ll avoid conversation just so I don’t have to go through the awkward moment of pretending I know someone I was supposed to have met already. It just feels so superficial and unnatural to me.

What is so strange about being independent? I know there are many times when I probably should have asked for help or turned to others in times of emotional need instead of carrying my burdens myself. I know there are some drawbacks to being introverted. I need to deal with things on my own time and in my own space. When I’m ready, I may choose to tell my select group of friends what I’m going through or I may not. The pressure to share or to meet new people when I’m not ready just adds another level of stress to me.

For those of you extroverts who find it hard to relate, please know that if an introvert seems distant, it is not a sign of aloofness or an illusion of superiority. Give us some space. We may not want to socialize all the time, but I promise, that doesn’t mean we don’t like you. We’re wrapped up inside our own thoughts sometimes, but the best way to coax us out is not to push for information. Make us feel comfortable and we will naturally begin to share our thoughts with you. Introverts may seem strangely independent to you, but with time and the proper respect for personal boundaries is a potential for friendship and understanding that leads to a deep loyalty.