Fact Is, Single People Are The Best At Giving Relationship Advice

Fact Is, Single People Are The Best At Giving Relationship Advice

You just can't write a romantic comedy without a single friend.


If you have ever had a messy breakup, a clingy partner, or some other relationship issue, I cannot relate. I am extremely single. But for some reason, I have found that recently I've been in situations where I've been asked to give support and relationship advice to my friends. I've never been in a real or successful relationship, so it would actually make zero logical sense to ask me for relationship advice, yet that's exactly what I find myself giving — and, somehow, it works.

I've realized that I'm being helpful not in spite of my single lifestyle but because of it and that I was able to give meaningful support to my friends by reminding them of their value as an individual and being able to separate themselves from their relationship and their emotions. You are the only person who is a constant in your life, so you have to learn to trust yourself in order to form solid relationships with others, romantic or otherwise.

People who are in relationships, and especially my female friends, tend to fall into codependency that lacks autonomy or confidence in their own identity. One friend I had would call me about how depressed she was feeling about school and her grades, yet still was trying to repair a relationship with an emotionally detached boy who had no interest in her.

As I watch my friends navigate the weird dating world of Gen Z, I find it amazing how many couples don't actually like each other or can't differentiate between themselves. I told my friend that she should be making changes in her life to promote her own value and gain confidence in her own abilities. As a single person, I've never dealt with such a tied identity. I've had to purely be myself, trust my abilities, and bolster self-confidence. This means I have time to focus on my studies and my extracurriculars and have never waivered solely based on an interest in another person, for the most part.

I promise I'm not a robot! I have emotions and feelings! I still love a good cheesy romcom, and I pine for attractive men and the concept of a stable relationship. But I don't let the thoughts consume my every waking minute. You could say I'm putting my trust in the universe that I'll find my dude some day. But I had to first find myself, and I think everyone should do the same, even if they're currently dating someone.

I recommend that if you have a consistently single person in your life, you should ask them about your relationship issues. Letting in a new outside perspective is always a good idea. Of course, there are stable couples who have been able to strike that balance between individual and couple quite effectively, and they also give excellent advice. But I'd start with the single person. We're probably way easier to find in college, anyway.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.

They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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The Easiest Way To Get Over A Breakup

Laying in your pajamas is not going to fix everything.


Breakups suck. There is no other way to say it. But... the good thing about breakups is that they can be seen as a good thing rather than a bad thing. I think the first step to getting over a breakup is to take time to grieve. Your life is going to be different. A whole person is removed from your life. Removed from your routine.

It's OK to take a day to be sad.

I usually take one to two days to be sad and eat a lot of food. You can't just skip over the loss and think that you will recover. You can't do that. Take your two or so days to be sad. No longer than a week. Don't wallow in your dirty, crumb covered sheets.

Once you have taken your grieving time, get your butt up.

Take a shower and leave your house. Put on your favorite outfit and do whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. Go do something. It can be something as small as getting a coffee or walking with friends. Do something with people. Don't become a recluse and isolate yourself.

Do not post on social media.

It is SO tempting to tweet about how sad you are or post a sad snap but don't. Don't let your ex have that much power over you. Don't give them the satisfaction of how sad you are without them. They are going to move on, so you should too. You should also mute them or unfollow your ex. There is no reason to get upset every time you open your phone and see their face. It's not "childish" or "petty" it's smart.

You have to put yourself first and be selfish at this time.

Once you allow yourself to climb out of your dark hole of pity, jump back into life. Keep your chin up and keep going. The best way to "win" in the breakup is to be happy and move on without them. You may fall, you will get random slip-ups of sadness, but you will be OK. Take what you have learned in the relationship and remember that part. Notice what worked and what didn't.

You are fine, it's just a breakup not the end of the world. You got this.

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